Support at a distance

There are days when I ponder on whether or not the actual physical distance between me and my (grand)+children is a hindrance or not. Certainly coffee and stay-over moments are out of the question but I was thinking more in the lines of; How I can be of practical support as far as advice ( giving and taking), sharing of hopes and dreams and generally 'being a mum/oma' at a distance? And is that distance a spell breaker?

My children all have families of their own. Their addresses are spread over Australia and New Zealand. They are beautiful adults with firm goals and hopes and dreams as all ( or most?) parents are. I admire their energie, their drive and commitment to their children and each other. No road is smooth, no journey without it's disappointments and challenges. Still they journey on - together with the occasional input, where and when asked, needed or offered, by me as their 'living at a distance' mum.

And last weekend I had one of those moments. A few years ago one of my grandsons asked me to play an online computer game with him. I bought the game- tried to get the hang of it- yes, I did try, but eventually he did opt out and played with his friends- saying, " It is ok oma, this is just not your thing". We did play Scrabble too a while- which was also fun. So in sense we shared the same space as if I was there visiting. It felt good.

Now that same grandson is heading for his last year High School. At his age it is still very hard for him to know in which direction he wants to go - in deciding on future study plans. And that isn't unusual. Having to choose something for life when you've just come calling. For a wee moment I felt useless. As a mum of 3, a former teacher and having worked with students I am only too aware of how frustratingly hard this choice making situation can be. Not only for the child but also the adults, the parents who feel unable to communicate or advise on this matter without it becoming a challenging conversation- leading to more frustration. Some parents have this dream that their child will follow in their footsteps ( profession) and some definitely don't want that at all.

So now, my grandson and I have chatted about this for a while- and I made him an offer. I suggested that he and I work together on finding what suits his style, knowledge and interest. We are going on a treasure hunt together. With regular 'meets' online, we will dive into the possibilities with as goal- some sort of answer to the question: Where to after this.....! After all, if I was in the neighbourhood - I would do the same.

At the present point in time we are looking at making a schedule, setting goals ( one step at a time) and learning how we can both become disciplined in this exciting journey together. It involves trust and commitment by us both- because I need to also deliver the support, encouragement and follow ups - to keep the ball rolling. There is no real ' big brother' check up system in place- just our own honesty and perseverance. I am keen to get started and especially excited about - the journey itself. We will use 2016 to travel together. How cool is that?

TOGETHER with my grandson - from a distance - but on the same wave length.

 

A dream come true!

Down Under

Down Under, as far as I am aware and have always presumed - is Aotearoa / New Zealand AND Australia.  No Aotearoa isn't a place in New Zealand. It means Land of the Long White Cloud.

Aotearoa (Land of the Long White Cloud) was the name given to New Zealand when the first canoes were paddled "Down Under' and the first inhabitants, the Maori, discovered this country which was at that moment shrouded in a long white cloud. The Europeans, the Dutch to be exact called the land New Zealand.

I lived Down Under for 30 odd years, in Aotearoa / New Zealand.
But folks here in Nederland (The Netherlands)  usually only connect Down Under with Australia.

Just as NZ-ers ( kiwis to those in the know) and Australians whom I have met - think Nederland
is actually called Holland and we just pop in to friends living in Norway because, " that's close isn't it?"

Nederland has 12 provinces - and only a few belong to the part most people call Holland. And just as in all countries, governments keep bringing about changes to provinces, borders and flags - so too are plans beng formulated to alter our provinces' structure. But no more on that - just to say, not only are Europeans not that well informed about Down Under issues - so too are the facts about Europe not that well know Down Under.

Why is that important to me? Because I am a dutch - kiwi. Half my life was spent in New Zealand and the other half here in the country of my birth, Nederland. And I am proud of my status I can tell you.

I actually feel myself a bit of an Australian too. My son, daughter in law and grandsons and other family members  live in Australia. I visit there when I travel Down Under to hug, hold and be near my children and grandchildren.

And I have a dream - I dream that my children ALL are whisked away on a plane together and arrive on Schiphol Airport to share, love hug and hold me here. In my country of birth. My home, where my roots are deeply entrenched.

As it happens, my daughter, son-in-law and three of my grandchildren are making part of that dream come true. I realise that my dream is a wee bit of a ' too hard basket' type of dream and am totally thrilled with the prospect I now am rocketing towards.

Another 6 weeks to go and I will be able to bike, eat pancakes, croquettes, visit the windmills, got to the market, the Efteling, Open Lucht Museum in Arnhem, Safari Park Beeksebergen to name a few prospects.....!

Oma ( that's me) is going to be rushed of her feet, swell with pride and smile the biggest smile for the duration of their visit. By the time the sightseeing is complete- they will find it hard to leave - and I will find it hard to say goodbye!

But memories will have been made, times shared, tears spilt and laughter heard. Oh what an awesome prospect. I feel so enormously blessed.