The encounter - part III

The past 16 hours were, generally, a huge onslaught on my normally healthy body. Physically I was drained and mentally I slowly lost the plot. I felt as if I was trapped in  a strangers body, not recognising any part of me at all. Now all this sounds mellow dramatic, I know. I hear you think- come on girl, there are worse things than this. People are really suffering out there with horrible diseases and illnesses that don't come anywhere near what you are experiencing. And I couldn't agree more! Even with that reasoning flowing through my head I felt struck down and lost in a situation I was slowly losing grip on.

Due to my unrest and not being able to get comfortable in bed, I decided to not disturb hubby any longer and crept out of bed like a thief in the night. I was thirsty and needed to walk to stretch my cramped legs. Cautiously I wriggled my toes into my scuffs, my hands managed to grab hold of my canary yellow bathrobe. Due to the chill factor as the central heating wouldn't be on upstairs,  I even managed to pluk a pair of warm knee length socks to keep me warm. This doesn't conjure up a pretty picture I realise and believe me I was a sight to behold, so let's leave it at that- I would be kept warm and that's all that mattered.

Once installed on the couch ( AGAIN) with my rug I started to relax. I had drank two large glasses of water- being soaked up like on a dry sponge. Man, I was thirsty. As it was dark all around me I was able to ward off all thoughts and distractions and started concentrating on my prayer. During this quiet time I told myself not to overreact, to be grateful for small mercies. I must have the flu, no big deal and in a few days all would be well. Stop feeing sorry for myself, was my message to ME. I think many of us have been in this place at some point or another. That a situation which arrises out of nothing takes on unreal proportions. Totally out of context. Buck up girl.

In all sincerity I spent time with God. I had every confidence in that HE was listening, that He would hear my plea, take my request for the return to health seriously and care for me. That's what I thought in that moment of CALM. Rethinking that moment I compared it to parenthood. No-one wants their child to be ill. When they are, as a parent you do everything for that child to ensure a return to wellness. As parent you want your child to be healthy, happy and full of energy and love. So, being a child of the Father, I thought that too. HE, as my Heavenly parent, would 'make me well'. Right?

I fell into a deep sleep during that prayer session, totally exhausted. I felt a sense of comfort and peace overwhelm me and I let go. There was work to be done- chores to do. Tasks to perform, projects to complete. I had a PLAN- My plan. I was to tackle my 'to-do list'. My gut feeling, which had been gnawing at me for some time now didn't abate. I couldn't explain it or place it- but I tried to convince myself- ALL WILL BE WELL.

My, how some weeks can just crawl on by....!

The encounter - part 1

It has unintentionally been a while. But I am back. The happenings of the past week deserve more than a quick mention so I am going to write a 'series' Entitled " The encounter". There is so much to tell, for me to dwell on and to digest that I will do that in installments. One of the reasons I write is to be able to 'put out there'  things that I experience, think about or want to share. It gives me the opportunity to 'stand back' and take another look at the subject at hand. And in my book, the past week deserves such a treatment, such attention.

So here goes; part one from The Encounter.

Monday morning and all was well. I made an early start on my daily chores as I had a number of 'pressing'  items on my to do list. As I had also changed my start up routine I wasn't surprised my body was 'out of sorts'  as breakfast had been moved from it's normal time line spot.

Around 11 -ish I had to concede that I wasn't feeling the best. It had nothing to do with breakfast, lunch or dinner. I felt queazy. Being winter and being free from all ills till now, that could possibly mean I wouldn't experience winter unscathed. Still, I had stuff to do so onwards and upwards, a queazy tum wasn't going to get me down.

A friend, with whom I Skype message most mornings, had said she was going to pop in late that morning and she did. Her stay was short as within minutes of her arrival my queazy became YUKYUKKY and I went from not well to SICK  in minutes. She dived for cover and left and I also dived- straight to the bathroom. THIS beautiful Monday was turning into something I had not counted on.

No way was this part of my plan. There was work to be done. I had a PLAN. I had been working on a project these past couple of months, new information and options were at hand. I was going like a train- to get this project up and running. NOW was the time to get serious NOT ill! Where I needed to be was on my chair, in my office, in front of my computer screen. Working on, out and at, my project. Instead it was a week of in bed, on the couch, in the bath, pacing the floor and trying to find a way of being comfortable in my aching body. 

Why did this have to happen NOW?

Did this have to happen? Well, that was my reaction. Why me, why now? I tried to cheer myself up by telling myself that it was a 24 hour thing. Gone before I knew it. What is one day, I thought? Surely one day wouldn't matter? I probably needed the break as I tend to not notice the signs telling me to slow down, back off and take a step back. This warning system seemed to have been disengaged after my burn-out and it does happen every now and then that I need a wall to stop me in my tracks. This, I said to myself, is probably what it is. But it wasn't...!

Monday became Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. The week progressed, so did my unwell-ness, my indignation, my frustration. Bother, Yuk and YUKYUK. What's going on? Then another emotion entered the game. I became ANGRY.

All sorts of thoughts flashed through my mind like; POOR ME - WHY NOW, it's not fair ( how is getting sick ever fair!) I downed on myself and on everything around me. Including GOD. How on earth did He expect me to do the stuff required if He kept me ill and didn't interfere and make me well. How come the 24 deadline didn't count? What do you mean " ask and you shall receive"? Weren't I, my prayers, my situation important enough to be heard?

My frustrations and anger took a hold, just like the bug and other aches that my body struggled with. It took charge and created a life of it's own!

I felt it was going to turn into a sad and tiresome week and I would be struggling to get through it!