My discussion evenings

Wednesday evening - a prayerful, challenging and learning experience. I look forward to these evenings each week although I do have gaps. There are some unique moments when I reneg, like birthdays or special events which override my resolve. Like last week when my husband, brother in law and I went to Scotland for a week.

We have started on a new book. Or should I say - a new topic. Marja Meijers, authoress of a number of thought provoking books on the Ten Commandments hosts, together with her husband Jan, a discussion group. We don't only discuss her writings but also books from other Christian authors.

The book we have elected to dissect is called ' My Neighbour's House. The theme- the last commandment ' Thou shalt not covet...'! Just as in the other books Marja has written, we are encouraged to DO stuff instead of NOT to do stuff. So, instead of Don't steal- GIVE, Don't kill - respect and celebrate LIFE.

The Ten Commandments are guidelines how we should live. Marja has interpreted them in a way they become inspiration instead of a set of rules which we can tick of at the Pearly Gates by saying to Peter -

"No, I didn't kill anyone - tick, 

No I didn't rob a bank - tick,

No, I never checked out the neighbour's wife- check, etc" Can I come in now?

The question we could be asking ourselves therefor is: " What CAN I do, to please the Lord? How can I live my life that brings GLORY to his name?"

So here we were, all 8 of us, starting on our journey to discover how we can live the Commandment;
 " Thou shalt not covet..." Because if we are NOT to covet- then what should we be doing. And before we can answer THAT question, we need to be fully aware what GOD meant with that rule.

Yes, I like my home to be comfortable and in tip top shape, yes, I do admire someone who can quote chapter and verse from the bible without any hesitation - wish it was me, when I see someone wearing a lovely outfit- a wishful thought flashes across my mind!

There is nothing wrong with owning the most recent model BMW, or having a in-ground swimming pool, annual overseas trips or sets of matching gold earrings, bracelet and necklaces. What matters is what part they play in our lives.

I am quite curious where our conversations will lead. How much I will learn and how I measure up to that commandment.

To be continued!

It is May 5th

It is the 5th of May today

May 5th 2014

My sister's birthday today

My one and only sister

Today, on this special date- 5th of May- Freedom in Europe (1945)

Her birthdate is 5-5-'50

Beautiful date easy to remember

Time to reminisce- to look back.

No, she hasn't died- we just aren't on speaking terms. That hurts.

I revel in my memories, which bring a smile to my lips and joy in my heart. 

Our time together is worth remembering.

Today is 5th of May- Liberation Day. I hung the flag out before 7 am. Just like yesterday- only then it hung half mast- Remembering the victims of WWII. Funnily enough there was hardly a breeze yesterday, which meant the flag just drooped- quite appropriate. 

Today with the light breeze it sends a hopeful and cheerful wave to those passing by.

My thoughts are with my grandparents, uncles and all those who offered and gave so much so we could benefit from the freedom we now enjoy and celebrate. A mishmash of emotions. Glad, because we remember and are grateful- sad because of the wars, pain, fear and death still raging on our planet.

Today, a mixed bag. I am grateful for what I have, who I am and what I stand for. I am thankful for the influences of those around me which have made me who I am today. Thanks to my sister, parents, grandparents and all those whose paths have crossed mine. For those who made PEACE happen in my world.

Today is 5th of May 2014 and I aim to celebrate today in a special way

Heaven's very special child

I feel compelled to write this blog in support of and offer a hand in friendship to Megan Davies Mennes, the author of a blog titled: Daily life: Define Crazy!

It appears that she was 'attacked' verbally by someone who took umbrage to a photo she placed online of her son. This wee man was smiling his glamour smile- and looked a perfect gem. And he was created to be that way.

Megan's son Quinn was born with the Down Syndrome in his make up- SO WHAT! That doesn't make him ugly, helpless or deficient. It just makes him- Quinn.

The person who, in ignorance, took offense to the photo, is sadly the person with the disability he described Quinn with- UGLY! A small voice tells me that there is reason to have hope that the opinion if this person may change- but an even louder voice tells me not to hold my breath.

Here in the Netherlands too is a support group for parents who have had children born with the Down Syndrome, called the Upside of Down. I am the proud owner of a photo book published by the Foundation, highlighting these beautiful children accompanied by comments from the parents. I would be naive to think and state that there is no discrimination here on the matter, but with education and public awareness mind set can be changed.

Megan, you have every right to feel hurt, angry and challenged by this person - and those like minded. It is a mother's privilege to protect and defend her child. And you did him and others like him- proud.

I want to share this poem that I stumbled on many many years ago- author unknown! It isn't just for you but any and all parents who may get some support, insight and love by reading this.

Heaven’s Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth

“It’s time again for another birth,”

said the angels to the Lord above,

“ This child will need much love.

His progress may seem very slow

Accomplishments he may not show

And he’ll require extra care

From the folks he meets way down there

He may not run, laugh or play

His thoughts may seem quite far away

In many ways he won’t adapt

And he’ll be known as 'handicapped'.

So let’s be careful where he’s sent

We want his life to be content

Please Lord, find parents who

Will do a special job for you

They will not realise straight away

The leading role they are asked to play

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith and richer love

And soon they’ll know the privilege given

In caring for this gift from Heaven

Their precious charge so meek and mild

Is Heaven’s VERY SPECIAL CHILD”.

Ode to Friendship- I am truly blessed

In the past week I had the privilege of having had contact with a number of friends. Dear friends, all sparkling pearls, everyone a treasure in their own right. The reasons for the contact was as diverse in it's contents that I experienced once again a richness that added colour to my life.

During breakfast this morning I pondered on the fact- is it possible to have 1 VERY BEST FRIEND? I sometimes hear people say ( after having achieved a great feat or another) " this is THE BEST moment of my life"- whilst you know they are married, have children etc. Makes me wonder.....! Is it possible to have ONE special moment that tops all others?

So here, today, my ode to friendships - from the heart. In all it's diversity and richness.

In all honesty it humbles me to say I am proud and pleased to have your name in my 'book of friends' and wouldn't want to miss any one of you. I would also like to mention how grateful I am that I am able to list my friends in alphabetical order. What a burden it would otherwise be to have to 'rank' these wonderful characters I call friend.

Dear friends, male and female alike. No value can be placed on the friendships I enjoy with each and every one of you. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so much loving care. Whatever my need at any given time- I know I can count on you. What I can so appreciate are the diverse talents, traits and personalities amongst you all. And how truly amazing it is that we humans have been so richly and diversely designed to meet each other's needs when we seek comfort, advice or support. What a source of inspiration you all are.

Wisdom, a shoulder, laughter, tears, prayer, time, silence, practical help, refreshing ideas, shoppers, support, jokes, serious debates, knowledge, creativity, soberness, spontaneity, compassion, understanding, a kiss, a warm embrace, compliments, appreciation, and more, many more traits that make you, you!

What also pleases and flatters me, is that you too know to find me in times of your own need. In moments when you think " I am going to call, call on, or drop in at ..." When you feel that I can in some one meet your need in that moment. My thanks to you for that loving two way friendship I hold so dear.

Dear friends, that we may continue to enjoy each others talents and care for one and other for many years to come.

The purest form of friendship - crystal clear.

Drop a pebble in the water and watch the circle ( of friendship ) grow

Size matters- Less is more

In my previous two Blogs I mentioned wanting to be less busy and in preparation for Easter whittle down my To Do list. And like many good intentions, this one too needed the necessary discipline and perseverance to implement. I am happy to report, that despite a few setbacks I am reasonably pleased with my progress. The appointments and tasks I already had listed were minimally added to. I managed to contain myself! A succes you could say. I feel I have interpreted and understood my initiative and have acted accordingly. I look forward to the end result with exciting anticipation.

Easter, the feast of New Life, of Renewal, of promises of good things to come- I so look forward to that.

By accepting LESS in my day(s) I have achieved and had time for MORE. My 'to do list' is slowly but surely shrinking with still enough activities to keep me occupied the coming period. I LOVE the LESS IS MORE feeling- and embrace it with enthusiasm.

One of the topics in conversations around me that stands out is the discussions about ' to have's and haven't yet got! About SIZE and that it MATTERS!

Bigger wardrobes, larger home, newest appliances, more CD's and DVD's ( have you see, heard have got??) more spacious caravan, holiday further away, longer weekends. Somehow our hunger for MORE keeps increasing.

I occasionally visit the 'Kringloop" store- a secondhand chain here in the Netherlands. The word Kringloop meaning - the Recycle Circle. A place for one to bring/deposit your unwanted goods- so others can purchase these at a reduced price- second hand. What strikes me is that these stores look more and more like a Warehouse or large Home Style store filled with goods that sparkle in newness. Rejected by those who first thought they would be 'happier'  owning such articles.

Clothing racks that groan under the weight, shelving jam packed with glassware and crockery. Furniture not even outdated as it used to be the case in these type of stores. Up to the ceiling highly stacked shelving filled with unwanted bric a brac and toys. Collectables and Wantables!

Since my resolve about minimizing to maximise - I have gained new insights into the contents of my cupboards. In the past 12 months not a bric a brac niceness has entered my home and  the only new clothes have been a couple of ( practically new) hand me downs from a friend. I feel a sense of ownership and freedom to choose for LESS is MORE.

I do not profess that purchasing niceties is wrong- just that it may be useful to think twice. I believe gifts and titivating your surroundings is appropriate and can provide joy and a sense of well being. My thoughts are just my thoughts and my experiences also mine alone. I share what I think, experience and feel. My reflections on this subject I share for you to do with what you see fit!

Sometimes it is good te re-evaluate! And for me, that time is NOW! The preparation time leading up to Easter- the promise of renewal.

And..... has that time arrived for you too?

The past week's activities

Monday morning: Off to see my cousin's daughter in Geertruidenberg. Got her started on her Blog. Going on an exciting journey wit her mother- and wanting to document the whole event from start to finish.
Monday afternoon: In the kitchen baking of a High Tea to be held Tuesday.
Monday evening: Everything ship shape for receiving guests tomorrow still for my husband's 60th birthday.
Tuesday: High Tea: Was absolutely wonderful: old aunts and a few cousins sharing tales from yesteryear. Lots of laughter and hilarities. Fun for all.
Tuesday evening: Made a digital photo album " Summer holidays - the Duncan kids".
Wednesday: Crack of dawn - 06:20am on my bike to the voting booth ( church hall) where I was stationed for the duration of voting for City Council elections.
Wednesday evening: Finished at voting booth round 10 pm- then off to Council Chambers  and home at 00:15
Thursday morning: Visit to friends who returned home after trip away.
Thursday afternoon: Film with mother in law, 12 Years a Slave. Heavy!
Thursday evening: Dinner out with husband and brother in law, meeting till 11:30 pm home 00:15 ( again).
Friday: Once up and about and off on an errand realised I wasn't going to hack it. The couch looked awfully tempting- and I succumbed.
Friday evening: Early to bed.

Saturday morning: Resolution- Attempt to avoid such full on and hectic weeks in the future.

Getting organised

It has been a week since my last BLOG. That isn't unusual, happens more often. Only this time the reason was different. I had painted the stairwell and it needed a few days to dry and harden before use. I know I could have 'arranged'  other ways to get to my BLOG and other 'necessary' ills - but I used this 'holiday' to enforce my discipline. No computer- no work. I did keep tabs on my Social Media as it is my life line to my children across the miles, Down Under - but NO WORK!

And that posed a dilemma. Almost as if the text urchins were toying with me. All sorts of ideas and quotes ran riot in my head- and NO, I didn't write them down but attempted to 'store them'  in my memory. It was quite a battle.

Just like a number of years ago I decided, off the cuff, to give up coffee for Lent. Just like that, cold turkey- no warning no preparation, no down time! Just like the stairs - it was an instant decision taken without thought as to the consequences!

With the cold turkey coffee event; it was extremely difficult and posed all sorts of problems. My body became unwell, derailed. The caffeine shortage affected me in ways I had not realised that it would. No way did I understand I was addicted. I drank coffee - and I was going to give it up for a few weeks- I knew I would miss it, That was the point- give up something you love! Big deal. And unexpectedly IT WAS.

Computers too can become an addiction. For many already a reality. I am a fortunate person. In my possession I have an iMac, iPhone, iPad and a laptop. Internet is available everywhere in the home and in the garden. I don't play games, well on the odd occasion while on holiday I might play Patience and I Love jigsaw puzzles. I may have used that App 5 times in te past two years. That's as far as my gaming on computers goes.

The stairs needed painting and 'today is the ideal day to do just that' was my idea at that moment. Through the window, the sun threw it's spring rays on the stairs, perfect for a slow but sure dry process.
As the paint odour penetrated the room I headed outside and spent my time getting 'rid' of winter in both the garden and the wee summer house. Both all set now to be enjoyed.

As of today my husband and I can enjoy the fruits of those flighty days- when time and weather allows. The paint on the stairs has hardened and I am once again able to sit in front of my screen and do what I need to do to get my admin up to date and commit the insights 'to paper' as it were.

I feel a sense of freedom and in charge as far as computer time is concerned. I focussed on what my routines were and have re-set my schedules to give me more 'off screen time'.

Spring, renewed energy, a fresh breeze, time to shake those winter ills off and look forward to Easter, to renewal. I aim to use Lent to clear my head and identify and rid myself of things - addictive.

There are 39 days to Easter...!! I am counting the days and aim to use the time wisely.

Spring knocked on my door

It has been a mixed bag as far as winter weather is concerned. An almost unidentifiable season in our region. No white stuff, more than our share of wind and a good doses of water. Having seen the news from around the world- it almost appears if our weather system has lost the plot.

There are people who suffer from winter depression and almost disappear from our radar during these dark months. How sad and burdensome this period must be for them. Luckily winter turns into spring and the light brings new energy. Faces re-appear and join our ranks once again.

By nature ( and generally speaking) I am a positive person, not affected in that way by any of the seasons. However, my experience this past month, due to my physical un-wellness, was unrecognisably dark. After almost drowning in a misere- I have resurfaced into the light. I feel spring has sprung in my life again and I have left the darkness of that season behind me.

It occurred to me funnily enough the we need these seasons in life to recognise the differences. We need our journey through the desert in the dryness and scorching heat, the strolls along tree lined lanes and moments in colourful gardens where we find time to smell the roses.

Awareness, situations, solutions and emotions! 

All ingredients for a full and sensation-filled life.

The highLIGHTS during the past weeks have come from the people who have supported and surrounded me with GOD' S love. With their faithful friendship and prayerful support. Through their presence and actions they blew away the dark clouds and made it possible for the sun to reappear and shine it's warm rays in the dark corners of my being.

My head is clear, my heart is joyful, my enthusiasm for each dawn is keen and ready to face a new day!

The encounter - part VII

...And what a talk we had! All issues passed the revue. Once we had agreed on a number of points and decided on a  new tact- my husband went outside, barefoot and all and pulled the for sale sign out of the garden, placed it on the terrace and said, " now let's have that drink. Gee that feels good!"

We have decided to take a step back and let the plans to shift go for the time being. We know and are realistic enough to understand the need for 'something'  which needs to happen to secure our future. Whether is be move, find a new form of income, or whatever- we need to 're-group' and take a step back. The past 3 years have brought many chances and challenges our way. We need some quiet time, some sober and clear headed time to get a clearer picture of ' what next Lord!"

Am I relieved? Well, it is a bit early for that. I am really pleased that my husband has finally relaxed some and that is surely worth something. Yes, there are many of life's 'issues' at hand but I will peace with those also. Space to have the opportunity to do what is appropriate and right for us.

And if you think- oh now all her ills will have disappeared too! Then think again. I still felt drained, squeamish, sore and ached all over. It will take some time to re-settle my mind as well as my body. It has been a rough ride.

A few days have since passed. My body is getting stronger and my mental state has improved no end. I did go for the medical checkup everyone advised me on- and yes, my fears were grounded. The kidneys are playing up, but now I know what the problem is I can attend to it. Due to my history my kidneys are under scrutiny- just to be safe.

Given the knowledge that I have The Book to dive into for wisdom and encouragement- and I do and did read in it plenty, I did find myself fighting a battle I wasn't 'man enough'  to win- not on my own. With God at my side I was able to conquer. His presence is something I don't want to take for granted and will  certainly concentrate more fully on. I know I matter.

The first morning I felt somewhat better and surfaced with intend to stay up all day- I picked up The Book and randomly opened it to find this passage:

Romans - The power of the Good News (1:6)

Greetings from Paul, a servant of Jesus the Messiah, called to be an apostle ( so am I) and set apart for God’s gospel, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding his Son. He was a descendant of David with respect to his humanity and was declared by the resurrection from the dead to be the powerful Son of God according to the spirit of holiness—Jesus the Messiah, our Lord. Through him we( I) received grace and a commission as an apostle to bring about faithful obedience among all the gentiles for the sake of his name. You ( me ), too, are among those who have been called to belong to Jesus the Messiah.

I BELONG to God and no other. Hard work awaits me to restore my relationship to Him and show that I trust in His will. His mercy will be on me- as long as I allow it to be. His light will shine on the path I am to follow.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Amen

The encounter - part V

Right at the start I explained that the past week had made such an impression and was so intense that I wanted to share all that transpired. I do hope you aren't bored and will forgive my somewhat longer than usual passages.

My most moving moment came that Wednesday evening. Now I had experienced my share of downs in my life ( who hasn't) but this one will go into my memory books as 'never to be forgotten'.  God had never felt so far away- so distant, and I had never felt so abandoned and alone.

Re-settled (again) on my couch I cried ( literally)  out loud to God. " A whole week is slipping by, all that you wrapped in those days to be gone and lost forever. I am sure that wasn't Your intention. I am convinced You had plans for me- I know I had plans Lord. Tasks to perform. How come I get the feeling You are preoccupied, not listening or at least not hearing my cry for help. Where are You? What am I doing wrong?

When I left New Zealand to return home to the Netherlands I left nearly everything behind except for a few personal belongings. In the small crate was one piece of furniture. My dad's old comfy chair. I 'inherited' the chair from him kinda official like, with a note and all, stating this 'handover' which made the gift even more precious. When I am down, or happy, or lonely, or filled with energy I sit in that chair and feel my dad's arms around me. It is a very special feeling. I close my eyes and dad is right there with me. This chair is upstairs in the office- and due to my state of mind and unwellness- out of reach. The climb just too steep, the energy not present to attempt to go and sit in my comfort chair.

The clock showed 23:00- almost another day gone, wasted. My husband slept, not surprisingly he was also becoming more unsettled due to my situation. My emotions and despair were penetrating the whole atmosphere of our home. Here I sat, on the couch, hands in my lap, shoulders almost on the floor- being as miserable as I could be.

Worn out with love- time for a recover job

My thoughts turned to my chair, I missed that ' arms around me feeling' I so desperately needed. I wanted to surrender, my energy level at an all time low. I fought and felt I had lost. Deep in my thoughts I suddenly felt the strength of arms around me, physically present and holding me. My father's arms- no, my Father's arms. Yes, as real as if they really wrapped themselves around me- I was being held up, comforted in my misery. Internal calm descended upon me and I reveled in this emotion, I sat as still as a mouse not wanting to break the spell. Not wanting to twitch a muscle in case I broke this moment of complete serenity. I sat, I enjoyed, I felt supported, comforted, understood, heard. All the thoughts and anxiousness I had experienced these past few days melted away into nothingness. Not a whisper, even a prayer passed my lips- I sat oh so very still....

His presence filled the room, He had come to be with me, to hold and comfort me, just me. I knew He was here, for me.

When I became aware of my surroundings again, awakening as if out of a dream- which it wasn't, I saw that 1 + 1/2 hours had passed. No I wasn't pain free, I did still feel nauseated and unwell, but different. I wanted to sing, dance, jump up and down. A joy filled my body- the room appeared filled with the brightest sunshine yet is was night and I had been sitting in a darkened room.

I crept downstairs, I wanted to sleep- at least I thought that was the best thing to do- so as to be fresh in the morning. But sleep didn't want me and after some time..... I returned upstairs. After making a cup of tea and buttering a cracker I re-captured the emotions and happenings of the previous hours. How absolutely awesome had this encounter been with my God. Right here in this room, on this couch after all my cries of woe, my prayers of despair. All those 'issues' I so struggled with had become mere 'things' to deal with. I felt unburdened and light.

Due to my pondering I hadn't heard the door open, or the footsteps on the stairs. All of a sudden  my husband appeared as if out of nowhere. He told me he had woken earlier and felt unsettled- so he came and joined me, poured himself a cup of tea also. Then he sat down opposite me and said " I have been doing a lot of thinking and I want to talk to you. Maybe this is the perfect time to do just that- would you come and sit by me so we can talk?"

The encounter - part IV

It was 6:30 am. After untangling myself off the couch I proceeded downstairs  crept past my sleeping husband to the bathroom and filled the bath. My aching muscles relaxed somewhat in the warmer than warm water which in turn relaxed me as well. When I looked on the clock a little later- I realised I had slept almost two hours. The tepid water had awoken me so I dived into my still warm bed and slept fitfully till 11:00.

Time to have something to drink and try to eat a little to gain strength, so I went to the kitchen. The disturbing memories that plagued me were still with me and I feared the return of my previous run in with my kidneys. It unsettled me no end.

Re-settling on the couch ( yet again) I decided to once again start my dialogue with God. My dis-ease with the situation had increased. Why wasn't I getting better? What was I doing wrong? Ask and you shall receive! I had prayed in thanksgiving for all I had, maybe not enough? But wait a minute! We aren't puppets who dance to the tune of the puppeteer. God had given us a free will. Presented with opportunities we were in the position to make choices. Take a right turn, left turn or by-pass the hurdle. Pray for guidance and wisdom. And yes, mistakes are made, paths that are best avoided sometimes taken. That is all part of our learning. Somewhere along the line it felt as if I was doing a trade off.

God made a promise, call on me and I will be there. I shouldn't have to do a trade off, surely?! I know I am not infallible and make mistakes. I do try to uphold God's laws to the best of my ability. I try to be the person I need to be for my fellow man. My humanness allows for mistakes but also for correction of errors by penance and admitting my mistakes. That's how I grow and learn.

It occurred to me I had started 'trading' in prayer. God if you... then I will...!! And that was never my intention. Wrong way to communicate. My head was spinning with all this ' heady heavy' stuff. No wonder I felt so ALONE in my struggle. Somehow I got the feeling I wasn't being heard- anywhere and by no-one at all.

Hello....where are you? I am trying to talk to you. Another day lost, a week not being put to good use. I have no way of doing a catch up after such a long period out of circulation. Please, hear my plea! Opportunities are being lost Lord, help me. PLEASE.

I felt so ALONE, so utterly and totally ALONE.

The encounter - part III

The past 16 hours were, generally, a huge onslaught on my normally healthy body. Physically I was drained and mentally I slowly lost the plot. I felt as if I was trapped in  a strangers body, not recognising any part of me at all. Now all this sounds mellow dramatic, I know. I hear you think- come on girl, there are worse things than this. People are really suffering out there with horrible diseases and illnesses that don't come anywhere near what you are experiencing. And I couldn't agree more! Even with that reasoning flowing through my head I felt struck down and lost in a situation I was slowly losing grip on.

Due to my unrest and not being able to get comfortable in bed, I decided to not disturb hubby any longer and crept out of bed like a thief in the night. I was thirsty and needed to walk to stretch my cramped legs. Cautiously I wriggled my toes into my scuffs, my hands managed to grab hold of my canary yellow bathrobe. Due to the chill factor as the central heating wouldn't be on upstairs,  I even managed to pluk a pair of warm knee length socks to keep me warm. This doesn't conjure up a pretty picture I realise and believe me I was a sight to behold, so let's leave it at that- I would be kept warm and that's all that mattered.

Once installed on the couch ( AGAIN) with my rug I started to relax. I had drank two large glasses of water- being soaked up like on a dry sponge. Man, I was thirsty. As it was dark all around me I was able to ward off all thoughts and distractions and started concentrating on my prayer. During this quiet time I told myself not to overreact, to be grateful for small mercies. I must have the flu, no big deal and in a few days all would be well. Stop feeing sorry for myself, was my message to ME. I think many of us have been in this place at some point or another. That a situation which arrises out of nothing takes on unreal proportions. Totally out of context. Buck up girl.

In all sincerity I spent time with God. I had every confidence in that HE was listening, that He would hear my plea, take my request for the return to health seriously and care for me. That's what I thought in that moment of CALM. Rethinking that moment I compared it to parenthood. No-one wants their child to be ill. When they are, as a parent you do everything for that child to ensure a return to wellness. As parent you want your child to be healthy, happy and full of energy and love. So, being a child of the Father, I thought that too. HE, as my Heavenly parent, would 'make me well'. Right?

I fell into a deep sleep during that prayer session, totally exhausted. I felt a sense of comfort and peace overwhelm me and I let go. There was work to be done- chores to do. Tasks to perform, projects to complete. I had a PLAN- My plan. I was to tackle my 'to-do list'. My gut feeling, which had been gnawing at me for some time now didn't abate. I couldn't explain it or place it- but I tried to convince myself- ALL WILL BE WELL.

My, how some weeks can just crawl on by....!