Tears that flow

Where will it end?

When will the hatred make way for peace?

My heart bleeds for all those in places tormented by war

I weep for those maimed and killed

It goes beyond my comprehension

The slaughter, the devastation

How many more lives are to be sacrificed

Women, children, men all targets of a cruelty

I cannot begin to describe

While my skies turn blue

and the golden rays of sun touches the earth

Elsewhere dark shadows spread destruction

Thirsting on power and the blood of the innocent

Horror filled days followed by uncertain nights

The world - being seen as a prize to be had

By a force filled with darkness

When will those dark hearts turn to the sun

And allow the glow to fill them with LOVE

Love and respect- is what the world needs

The WORLD - gifted to ALL - in LOVE!

Today is Good Friday! And it is GOOD!!

It is a miserable weather day today. Drizzly, windy, overcast- sombre is a good adjective to use here.

It is Good Friday! For many 'just another day'. For believers - a day of remembrance.

Like Christmas when the birth of Jesus is commemorated - today we christians remember his crucifixion.

Does it affect our day to day 'doings?' Not sure. For me it isn't a day to go out and about shopping or washing my windows. It isn't a 'dark day' either - but I keep myself reasonable relaxed- my thoughts returning regularly to THAT EVENT which gives it's name to today - Good Friday.

Because despite the sad event - it is GOOD NEWS. Hard for the not religious minded to grasp maybe - but for those of us who believe in the resurrection- GREAT NEWS in fact.

Yesterday - Holy Thursday, we re-enact and /or remember the last supper. Being servant to all. That no-one is superior. That there is a servant in all of us regardless of rank or stature.

Today, Good Friday - a remembrance to us humans that we are worth saving. Worth dying for.

Tomorrow- a day of anticipation. Of grief and realising the loss - of someone we love.

Easter- THE event to JUMP for JOY for. Resurrection - a NEW BEGINNING!
A new opportunity to MAKE GOOD!

To make a fresh start. Hope for the future and new life!

Alleluja Alleluja

Alleluja

Playing the tourist

Holidays abroad, safaris and cruises, international destinations, world discovery holidays!

Half the fun of a holiday is in the planning. The prospect alone is a happy one.

Thing is- those listed above cost the earth, and not everyone has the purse for them.


The other thing is - some people only go FAR to discover the world at large- whilst not actually ever having really seen their own country at it's best.

Don't you wonder why people come to visit your homeland? To see what is is they don't have at home.

The past 4 years my husband and I have been playing Tourist in own country'. Awfully good fun.

The past 2 years a couple (  of VERY GOOD FRIENDS) have joined us. And as a 4-some we criss cross the countryside- taking in all the sights and impressions we lay our eyes on.

And what a lovely sights we see.

Ever done it? No I don't mean that when you travel to a destination - you happen to see what's on the way. But to make the trip the holiday! The hotel is only a place to stay.

First tip: Find a hotel (best deal) in a remote township. Book a night. Don't check out the area till you have booked.
Second tip: Get together with driver and plan route. Village here, side road there- maybe a unsealed one to boot. They are FUN!
Third tip: Make sure there is a coffee + lunch + afternoon tea stop planned. Select the spots ( roughly) weather and traffic congestion set the pace)
Fourth tip: If necessary of tickles your fancy- take a thermos- or two, picknick lunch and some cold refreshments.
Fifth tip: Remember your camera.

No plans yet for autumn, spring of an odd day away... then I say, " Go for it".  Be tourist in your own country en ENJOY!

Content, satisfied, happy

How I wish I could say I start every day this way.

Well I do often start with a smile and certainly full of energy and 'get up and go'. It is just not always possible to hold onto this feeling. Well, not 'not possible'. Let's say I tend to occasionally let this feeling slip through my fingers.

But recently, I have been challenging myself to 'get a grip' on my day. On the 24 hours ahead. On the events that are planned and unplanned.

We receive the newspaper every day in our letterbox. It is becoming more and more unappealing to spending my precious time reading it. So depressive - so downgrading and morose.

The wee bits of 'good news' do not restore the balance. Good news doesn't sell I am told. Bolderdash I say!  My thoughts that is.( see my opinion)  Good news is like a sun in the sky, like a smile from a friend, a shoulder tap to say 'well done'. Good news is knowing life is a gift, a treasure and a place to 'do well'. Good news is something we can all add to. To make, to create, to share.

How can GOOD NEWS be a BAD thing?

While my daughter, son in law and children stayed - at the end of the day the children ( and adults) had to mention 2 BEST things of the day. It was hard to choose. Because a day has more GOOD moments than one can sum up.

Try it - I suggest - even if you are an up and up happy person - try at the end of the day to restrict your ' Good news' moments to TWO.

It is 10:49 am and I already have a long long list of GOOD stuff so I know it will be hard to choose this evening.

Happy - Blessed - Enjoyable and Satisfying day everyone.

MAKE IT COUNT

if not for yourself- then for those around you!

On air

I had the most amazing experience Friday and an even more amazing one today.

It has to do with the radio.

The subject was: Immigration

Topic: The differences

The Interviewee: ME!

Recently I was approached by a radio station - specially for Dutch people away from home ( for whatever length of time or reason).

If I would share my experiences of my to-ing and fro-ing between New Zealand and Nederland.

The point of the exercise being that the interviewer wanted to highlight the differences between home and the new homeland.

It so transpires that I have had ( to date) an absolutely blessed and rich life. My hope is of course that it stays that way for a long time to come.

Back to the subject: Radio Interview!

My parents left Nederland because they wanted a 'better' life for their 4 children. Seeing as I was barely 8 - better was a vague concept. I had all I needed - I wasn't burdened with the things that weigh parents down. So different for me about where I was to live - not being able to visit family and friends and learning a new language.

After 5 years in our new 'homeland' we returned to Nederland due to a health issue my baby brother was faced with. We still returned with 4 children, leaving the eldest behind.

Life happens, things evolve. The return was positive in the sense that my brother's health issue was no longer an issue thanks to the wonderful medical care and solution they offered. Bit by bit- fragmented as it were, we all ended up back in New Zealand. Now all for our own reasons.

I met a New Zealander, married, had a family and enjoyed a good life.

Then life happened some more.

In July 2000 I landed at Schiphol airport for a years sabbatical. Returned shortly after to New Zealand and packed my belongings to return to Nederland- home. Apparently where my heart was and is.

Having just had that interview has brought back many happy and also sad memories- the whys and wherefors and the knowledge that NEDERLAND is my home, that I have a wonderful 2nd home to visit when I see my children, grandchildren and dear friends with whom I have stayed in contact.

Immigration - a world apart- an enriching experience not to be stepped into lightly. Yet an opportunity for all to 'better' ones circumstance. For whatever reason.

Thanks to the interviewer who listened to  my ramblings - an experience I will not forget.

RTVHolland

For Dutch listeners EVERYWHERE

Opinions, pre-conceived notions or just 'thoughts!

Opinion - facts or not

Who doesn't have some? Opinions I mean.

A newspaper article, a tv program or item on the news can spark a deluge of comments on social media these days. Experts, couch potatoes, affected or spectators alike vent their thoughts sometimes unashamedly raw and uncensured.

I do believe in free thinking - but that doesn't mean that one can express whatever - and not take into account how one delivers the message of discontent or other way of thinking.

In my opinion that is!

Opinions are as varied as birds in the air, fish in the ocean and grains of sand on the beaches.
The have as many shapes as the clouds that float in the sky and drift by in the many strengths of breezes that stirs the air.

And it is important to be able to vent these opinions, thoughts, analyses of events that happen daily on this planet. Because most of what happens effects us all. Or at least some of us.

How wonderful it would be to not have an opinion - or would life then be too dull? Too empty and mundane? Always either agreeing ( oh no that is an opinion too isn't it?) or not agreeing - just being silent and 'getting on' with life.

For some reason, opinions tend to evoke defensive retributions and sometimes even hostile reactions. As if one has to DEFEND one's opinion. Because an opinion is just that- nothing more nothing less.

Someone else's point of view....! 

Which is to some like a red rag to a bull

No-one has to take 'it' onboard. Maybe it is important just to be heard. To shed light on a subject from different angle. This enables people to see something from an other perspective.

There are times when it takes 'guts' to voice an opinion - especially when the topic is very sensitive or the consequences far reaching.

Euthanasia

Education

Refugees

Health Services

Religion

High income earners ( in Public offices)

Food shortages

Natural resources

Save the Whale - etc

Become a donor

I live in a country where we 'attempt' to uphold the freedom to voice whatever is on your mind. Publicly and without censure. This, unfortunately, leeds to some very heated debates, discussions and sometimes violent reactions. One of our most outspoken politicians has been surrounded by body- guards since he started speaking, unreservedly, his mind, and on the other hand, not being able to 'take' the results of his verbal outbursts. This has caused some danger to his personal safety - hence the need for protection of the most invasive kind.

Some 'share' their thoughts in a most provocative way causing unrest, riots even. Makes me wonder what their intention is from the outset.

Those that shout the loudest have the biggest profile- are seen AND heard but are they listened to?

I form opinions or a point of view on many subjects as a natural reaction to receiving information that is 'sent' my way via the various options available in today's world.

I don't react to all of them - but am thankful I can be heard without fear for reprisals - other than reactions from those who think other thoughts.

Guess what I am trying to say is - a BIT OF RESPECT goes a long way while sharing our thoughts - which are after all only personal statements to be reflected on.

Not making the time- but taking the time, for friendships!

It is Monday and the weekend is now a warm memory. How lovely it has been to catch up with various friends. Something I like to use our weekends for.

Over the past few weeks we have had a number of catch up moments. I noticed when writing our Christmas cards in December that a few of our friends hadn't received the attention they deserved from us the past year. It highlighted for me the need to 'do it different' this year. To be a bit more alert and pay more attention to those people who brighten our world and add colour to our lives- in their own unique way.

What played a part in this 'neglect' was definitely the over full diary we had - the shift, the trip to my children, the visit from overseas, the new routines, distance and the a few small health odds and sods. So it wasn't a lazy excuse but more a 'too much of one thing and not enough of the other'.

We have finally found our feet, have a few less BIG THINGS lined up and feel more relaxed. Our routines more settled and our commitments less stressful. Time then, to restructure and refocus on what is important.

Friendships - such an important part of life in general. People needing people. Having a place to go to share your story, being privy to other people's stories, sharing memories or making new ones. Enjoying a glass of wine or sharing a meal - a coffee time visit or a walk in the park.

I am aware that it isn't the amount of time one spends with friends - but the level of enjoyment and support one can give or receive.

What recently was meant to be a quick cuppa - turned into 4 hours of sharing and unburdening.

When we arrived for a snack - it turned into a 3 course meal.

A short call to say 'hello' was a heaven sent break in a sad day.

The walk in the park - was a treat of nature at it's best ( and a healthy red nose to boot)

The need for more stamps meant that there are letterboxes received fun mail instead of just bills.

I know it is an unrealistic task to think we can meet up with all those in our 'little black book'. But I do know we can do our utmost to share moments - and make room for those wanting  to 'be' with us, for whatever reason.

I aim to mend my ways in 2016 and hopefully I will be able to say - I am pleased and proud of our efforts this year.

Our friends are the treasures in our life.

There is this dilemma

It took some thinking, soul searching and a reality check to finally realise that for some issues there is no right or wrong answer or solution.

Many of my friends have 'finished' rearing their families and the children have made it to adulthood- some thinking of having families of their own. Some taking off around the world on a voyage of discovery - experiencing both personal and geograhical discoveries and slowly realising where they 'fit' into the big picture of life. And then there are those in the throes of childrearing. Bringing up their children in the same but a slightly different kind of way. The same- they want the best for their child - different because they live in a different timeline with their young.

Sometimes I wonder whether any generation had it easier than another. My parents had their children ( my siblings) just post war in Europe. My parents were raised between the 2 wars. I raised my children between the 70's and mid 90's. One could almost say - the same but different, for each generation.

I know there are some things I 'borrowed' from my childhood. I also know I avoided some of them, not because I thought I knew better- but because I noticed too that times and opportunities had changed and so had society as a whole.

Children ( in general) lived closer to their parents. Immigration and job prospects, cars and better roads have led to a greater physical distance between many a parent and their offspring. Nipping in for a cuppa and a chat session hasn't disappeared but has evolved.

Advice, once freely given, now more often than not - not sought by parents but 'online' or with friends. And when a parent is approached - how do you respond? I know I find it difficult to asses at times. In my situation - I don't have physical contact in the sense of 'popping in' but communicate using modern technics. All a case of logistics.


There is a fine line between meddling, interfering and actually being able to 'give' the right advice.
That is my experience. When in conversation I try not to immediately formulate a response. Not only with my children but anyone who seeks to pour their heart out over an issue that concerns them.

Recently I had such an experience. A loving couple tried to persuade their son not to travel abroad. To wait until he had some more work experience, money saved, maybe go with a friend. All, in their eyes, valid arguments to reconsider his plan. They just found letting go so hard. When I mentioned that possibility to them - they looked surprised. It didn't occurred to them that their negative reactions were in fact a sign of their love for him and were scared about letting go.

Later that week I bumped into him at the local supermarket. Without the son knowing they had confided in me - He started telling me about his impending departure filling me in on all his travel plans. Then his smile faded and a frown appeared - " I feel so sad to hurt mum and dad", he said. "They just don't understand how important this is for me. I think they don't feel I am capable of looking after myself. I keep on getting all these negative messages and they don't get involved at all in the planning. They just don't approve."

I could have made all sorts of comments and pointing the son into a direction - similar to having made the comment to the parents- but I thought, let them nut it out at home amongst themselves. Maybe after a while his parents wil have a change of heart and be happy for him and his leap into independence.

I know from a personal point of view - that I am happy when my children are happy. No, I don't have to raise them' any more, maybe a nudge every now and then- which they are free to ignore should they so wish. Maybe after a while they may notice that the nudge wasn't such a bad thing after all - but it is their choice.

I try to avoid coming close to that fine line- but as many parents know- that isn't always easy!

Children = my children, their partners and grandchildren

You bring light into my life

Love into my world

and joy in my heart.

Family day today ( and every day)

When I woke this morning and followed my ritual of thanks and a cuppa- I had a thought. A word popped into my mind- family!

 "Write something about your meaning or connection with family" it said.

Now, like most mothers, my children are constantly present in my mind- sometimes right up there, sometimes in the back ground but DEFINITELY present. And when I say children I mean that in the broadest sense of the word - children, their partners ( whom I elect to love as my children) and my grandchildren - both those I can hug ( figuratively speaking as they live abroad) and the one in my heart.

I think the focus on family resulted after a visit to my husband's aunt on her 89th birthday yesterday. She has been a widow for many years- has no children of her own so 'borrows' with love, her nieces and nephews. She had a room full of visitors in all age ranges. It was a wonderfully warm visit and I felt privileged to have been a small part of it. So, focus on family.

Family for me has many meanings- but firstly all due must go to those nearest and dearest- my parents, my siblings and my heritage. It has partly shaped me. The experiences of having my own family, involvement with extended family and the friends gathered around me have helped with moulding the rest of ME.

My parents, whom I also hold dear in my heart, were pioneers, courageous and steadfast. They shared 53 +1/2 years of marriage, brought forth 5 children, survived various of life's dramas and made decisions they thought were the best they could make at the given time and circumstance. I can only say - THANK YOU.

Although almost no contact with siblings, my feelings for them and my connection with them is eternal. Bound by our parents and their forefathers our lives are entwined forever. Their personalities have also had an impact on me.

The dutch heritage, the identity, religion and history have played a huge role in who I am and how I view the world.

All my children live Down Under, so they will not be there on birthdays unless I travel to them. Maybe when the grandchildren grow older they may travel and plan to 'pop in' to visit sometime. Now that would be great. The thought and possibility alone is heartwarming.

Looking at extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins all share some common part of my identity. Their involvement in my life need not have been great, yet every sense of belonging stems from 'recognisable traits' which we all have inherited in some form or another. The chefs, gardeners, artists, teachers, photographers and those having entered religious life - can relate to the drive towards these professions held by many. Is it a gene thing? Who shall say.

Friendships, worth their weight in gold -
( read my earlier blog on the subject of friends). True and pure and of long standing. How I treasure those memories and their influences on me. What a wealth of diversity and warmth. I consider them too in my feeling of family. Some even closer than those born into my tree. As far as I am concerned they deserve a spot on my branch. I share their joys, and mourn in their sadness and they mine.

Yesterday I attended the birthday celebration of a family member who turned 89, today I get to share along with many others, the 60th birthday of a dear friend. 

How awesomely blessed is that?

Treasure the family which you have, polish it and keep it shiny and bright. It makes life beautiful!

One week on

A week ago I wrote about my quest to be more of an oma for my grandson. We now chat almost daily and keep each other informed about our daily doings, possible hitches, successes and attempts to be who we are meant to be.

Now school is back we may not get as much on air time- as he will have homework and a earlier bedtime Which is all good- it just means we have to be more creative.

Earlier this month, I realised I was sitting around too much. We moved into an apartment one year ago- and the loss of extra levels in the home means less legwork. We do use the stairs in stead of the elevator and our home is situated in beautiful parklike surroundings- so the possibility of having a daily walk- a -bout is present. With the colder temperatures and my lack of energy meant I reneged more than I should have.

Whilst setting up some goals with my grandson, I set my step goals to 8000 steps per day and committed to upholding my challenge to myself by reposting my achievements in the chat session each day ( or failure to do so).
And it became a tussle between me and that magical number. Some days it was no bother to reach and surpass that amount of paces, but days like today, I just know I will not be making the grade.

I slept well but far too short, the sun is out, the wind very chilling. I am still not showered ( did brush teeth and splashed water round though) and am wearing my 'home to stay' outfit, which isn't fit for outside. That alone is enough to thwart any enthusiasm I may be able to conjure up.

For the first time in almost 3 weeks I will get an 'F' for walking. Having written this part - I feel a sense of shame - but no drive to alter the situation. Oh boy, that sounds pitiful. No walking today...... and that's that!

While laying awake last night- no reason really why I couldn't sleep, I thought about the few chores I kept pushing aside. The button on a pair of trousers, the dress which need attention ( stitching had come loose), the Easter Bunny almost losing an ear,  the ironing and the two parcels that need posting.

So now, the button has been replaced on the trousers, the dress is ready to wear, one of the parcels has had a letter added to it and is ready for the postoffice. What I haven't addressed yet is the ironing- that can wait till I take the rest of the washing of the line - which is now flapping in the breeze.

Seeing I elected 'Contentment/ Satisfaction' in life as my word for 2016 - I need to see whether I can live with 0 on my counter or pluk up just that ounce of will power I need to open the front door. After that, there is no turning back.

Do you have days like that- when the mood rules? How do you turn it around so that YOU win?

Support at a distance

There are days when I ponder on whether or not the actual physical distance between me and my (grand)+children is a hindrance or not. Certainly coffee and stay-over moments are out of the question but I was thinking more in the lines of; How I can be of practical support as far as advice ( giving and taking), sharing of hopes and dreams and generally 'being a mum/oma' at a distance? And is that distance a spell breaker?

My children all have families of their own. Their addresses are spread over Australia and New Zealand. They are beautiful adults with firm goals and hopes and dreams as all ( or most?) parents are. I admire their energie, their drive and commitment to their children and each other. No road is smooth, no journey without it's disappointments and challenges. Still they journey on - together with the occasional input, where and when asked, needed or offered, by me as their 'living at a distance' mum.

And last weekend I had one of those moments. A few years ago one of my grandsons asked me to play an online computer game with him. I bought the game- tried to get the hang of it- yes, I did try, but eventually he did opt out and played with his friends- saying, " It is ok oma, this is just not your thing". We did play Scrabble too a while- which was also fun. So in sense we shared the same space as if I was there visiting. It felt good.

Now that same grandson is heading for his last year High School. At his age it is still very hard for him to know in which direction he wants to go - in deciding on future study plans. And that isn't unusual. Having to choose something for life when you've just come calling. For a wee moment I felt useless. As a mum of 3, a former teacher and having worked with students I am only too aware of how frustratingly hard this choice making situation can be. Not only for the child but also the adults, the parents who feel unable to communicate or advise on this matter without it becoming a challenging conversation- leading to more frustration. Some parents have this dream that their child will follow in their footsteps ( profession) and some definitely don't want that at all.

So now, my grandson and I have chatted about this for a while- and I made him an offer. I suggested that he and I work together on finding what suits his style, knowledge and interest. We are going on a treasure hunt together. With regular 'meets' online, we will dive into the possibilities with as goal- some sort of answer to the question: Where to after this.....! After all, if I was in the neighbourhood - I would do the same.

At the present point in time we are looking at making a schedule, setting goals ( one step at a time) and learning how we can both become disciplined in this exciting journey together. It involves trust and commitment by us both- because I need to also deliver the support, encouragement and follow ups - to keep the ball rolling. There is no real ' big brother' check up system in place- just our own honesty and perseverance. I am keen to get started and especially excited about - the journey itself. We will use 2016 to travel together. How cool is that?

TOGETHER with my grandson - from a distance - but on the same wave length.

 

Times, yes they are (forever) a changing!

One of my favourite past-times while living in New Zealand was walking barefoot on water's edge on the beach. I was very fortunate to be able to spend many a weekend in a batch owned by friends. They gave me the freedom to spend time there whilst I was going through a very rough patch. The waves, the fresh air, the stiff breeze and the possibility for quiet reflection all helped bring some relief in my heavy heart and clouded brain.

Whilst on my walks I would be mesmerised by the waves, sometimes fierce and powerful, sometimes timid and almost silent. But never ending! They lapped around my feet and they never stopped - but changed in size and shape constantly. Looking at them, no staring actually, it was almost tiring thinking  and knowing that they never stopped ( it would be disasterous if they should). It comforts me to know that the waves keep on coming and it enthralls me that they are forever changing in shape, form and character.

The waves, like my thoughts kept on keeping on. Relentlessly, tirelessly and without pauze. I felt at one with those waves.

For me it was the water that captivated me, for others it are the clouds or the stars. The same yet always in motion, changing at each blink of an eye. Comforting yet mysterious.

So too life. It captivates, evolves, situations forever changing. Life for me has changed once again. New location, new challenges and new possibilities. The waves in my life too sometimes a rough ride, sometimes a smooth glide across the ocean of life. It still enthralls me, captivates me and challenges me to make the most of what life has to offer- no matter which beach I am on. Every wave counts.

I think this is also a reflection of the story when the apostles were in the boat and Jesus slept. A storm arose and the waves threatened to engulf the small boat. The apostles panicked and woke Jesus.  As a parable it has a strong message. When a storm in my life happens - calm is of the essence and in knowing I don't have to struggle on my own, gives comfort, insight and courage. The waves will be tempered and the calm will return - when wisdom is sought and I make the right choices. I don't have to fight the battle on my own.

Enjoy your walk, your beach, your stars, your clouds and most of all, enjoy the challenge of change.