What if.......

What of the reality of happy families doesn't exist?

What is the sun wouldn't shine?

What if we didn't appreciate the gift of a new day?

Seems to me, there are so many things that we could question the existence of.

So how about we turn all those 'what if's around and said,

True family love and unity exists

The sun does shine, even behind those dark clouds

And each new day is a gift to make all those certainties be part of our lives.

I believe, I believe in all of the above and I believe that God so made the world that he wanted us to have family, love, a new day.

So my wish and prayer for everyone is,  No more what ifs.....but

Believe there is love

Believe the sun does shine

Believe in your new day...

So whatever your denomination, whatever you call your God, in however large or small your congregation, I believe that...

this is God's will for us and His gift to humanity.

Short, sharp and so true

Time for a coffee break

"How do you like your coffee dad?"
and he would reply " hot, wet and in a cup!"
I still miss him terribly.

Oh delicious

I do so enjoy a good cup of coffee. Over the years I have had a fair few - and have even survived a period when I realised how dependent I had gotten on the liquid.

That happened quite by accident- both the addiction and the discovery, I might add.

Not realising how many cups of coffee I drank in a day but did know how much I enjoyed the experience I opted for abstinence one Lent. I would give up this aromatic, warm and delicious fluid for 6 weeks. I knew I would miss it - an offer I was prepared to make. Many didn't think I would hold out the 6 weeks- they were sceptical.  I didn't realise the impact it was going to have on me.

And what an impact it turned out to be. I suffered from withdrawal symptoms without at first realising that this is what they were. It was a hard road I travelled. Upon reaching my destination I vowed never to get myself that hooked on coffee again. And I haven't! It was a Lent action that did what it meant to do...made me aware!

Having a firm grip on the situation I now restrict my intake to two ( and on special occasions 3) cups a day. I even skip coffee days, yes I do.

Ten am... the ritual

Breakfast is a fading memory, chores done and a hubby who works from home. The hands of the clock point to the magical 10 o'clock and it is time to take a break- a coffee break. The best coffee breaks are with friends, neighbours or the possible tradesman who happens to be choring in our home at that time. In Nederland it is customary to provide the electrician, carpenter, painter, plumber or whatever - with sustenance.

We were to have company this am....so I baked a yummy banana-chocolate- walnut cake to accompany the coffee. The house smelled so comforting and homely. We have only lived here a month and paint smells still linger in a few corners - but not today. Today it is the odour of fresh coffee and banana cake.

Habits and becoming addicted to them

I am quite the average person. Female, started on fase 3 in my life - almost retirement age. I am a believer, not only in God the Most High but also His people- those whose paths cross mine for whatever reason.

People, we human beings, are creatures of habit. We need recognisable patterns in our day to give us a grip on our world, on who we are and what we are about. When we let that go - as I did the coffee, we feel the effects. Need to find a substitute to fill the (large?) gap created when we drop something out of our routine. Instead of 10 am being a joyful moment in the day - it can become a torture time, an unhappy moment. I filled it with positive alternatives - as it turned out, things I still hold dear to this day.

On my own I could not have managed those 6 weeks and have come out smiling. I do not know why I chose the coffee. It just popped into my head. I am just so immensely grateful that I didn't have to walk that walk alone. Maybe the Holy Spirit guided my thought process - that wouldn't surprise me one little bit. What I am sure of is that He did help me take each step to healing and freedom from coffee.


It was Lent- a time of reflection and awareness. A time to reflect. Subject - for the choosing. And I discovered my relationship with coffee wasn't a healthy one.

But there are habits, or addictions if you will, that have a positive effect on ones life.

Like taking a daily walk. 

Reading the Bible every morning before your first cup of tea. Even while on holiday.

Praying before meals - including in restaurants and cafes.

Working through the list of names in the address book and calling someone each day, just to ask "how are you?" and spend some time with them, till you have worked through the whole list.

Sharing your smile with all those you meet.

Healthy habits that give clouds their silver lining. And instead of giving up such habits for Lent - maybe add another one for good measure.

Get your thinking caps on - 18th February will be here in a flash.

Will you be ready to give up something unhealthy - and add something positive to your life?

You will have 6 weeks to purge the one and get accustomed to the other!

Fasting can be a time when we do BOTH

Counting blessings

...and we all get them in all sorts of situations and circumstances

Blessings to cherish

My life includes many a blessing. Even in sad moments, and if I was to take the time and courage I may add, I might see blessings which are sometimes hidden behind that dark cloud. When I do see or discover them I realise they are the lights that shine giving hope, bring healing and joy. Funnily enough that light is brightest when the times are darkest. Still, not easy to search for when burdened.

Today I want to share a wee part of my life - my blessing. They were all separate incidents till I completed the puzzle and saw the whole picture. Our blessings are generally connections or connectors - it is a human trait I think to see everything in pieces - except as a whole picture. God works in our lives - our WHOLE lives. We tend to take our life a snap shot at a time. Well, I used to anyway.

The first pieces of the puzzle

"Mum, you are oma!!" It was 1997. My son called from Australia ( to New Zealand) to give me the great news. Only I had no idea there was a grandchild in the offing. He explained after I had rediscovered my voice- " mum I have found the woman of my dreams. She is the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my days with her." After a long chat I learned more about this precious

woman who was to be my daughter ( in law).

She had already been married and sadly her relationship stranded. In her previous situation she had suffered lots of grief. Now was her time to be happy. With my son. And although she was a few years older than he - they were and are a perfect match. I became oma to two lovely young boys and enjoyed the status enormously. I was the envy of friends and the first to reach this wonderful stage in my life.

Two grandsons, ready made. Gorgeous boys. Impish, sweet, sparky, gentle, loving and energetic. I loved them as an oma only can love her grandchildren.

Stage two - happy times met sad moments

"Mum just to let you know - you are to be oma again. We are expanding the family" Oh my joy knew no bounds.

The pregnancy had it's moments. They lived on a farm from the necessary services - but eventually all things settled. Then a dark cloud, my dad's failing health, interrupted the proceedings. I was devastated to realise I was to loose him. Also that he wasn't able to hold his first great grandson- a joyful moment he deserved to have had.

My son and his wife came over from Australia but unfortunately they were too late as the  moment they landed my dad died. Great sadness descended upon us all. My son who had hoped for his opa's blessing for the unborn child and his pregnant wife was truly saddened by his death. His love for his opa was genuine and ran deep. The day after the funeral they spent some time with my mum who embraced them and shared her love with them.

Watching from a distance

Things took a turn for the worse after returning to Australia. My daughter in law had to be hospitalised to protect the baby's well being (and hers). No email yet then, no skype. As they lived far from town - the distance travelled each day by my son was long and the months that followed were heavy going. The two boys were well taken care of - and visited their mum often.

In support I sent faxes daily, messages of love and support which were cheerfully received. Not only by my d-i-law but also by the staff who though this a wonderful way for me to be there - even though the distance was great.

The birth of their son was a happy moment. Not without tensions but all went well in the end. Joy of joys, and a gorgeous son entered our lives.

To be happy and to mourn

On my visits I enjoyed the company of the boys - each having their own distinct personalty. I got to know them better and better. You just don't realise how precious these moments are until life reminds you of it's fragility. The untimely death of one of the boys struck us in the very core of our being. A tragic accident which shook us on our foundation ended the life of Mitchell at the age of 17 in 2010. He may not be around to cuddle but in our hearts he will always stay. No one can take that away.

Déjà vu

Some time ago my eldest grandson met the love of his life - a young mum who had ended a unhappy relationship with the father of her two young children. I told my daughter in law - she was now an oma. Something she now realises how it had impacted on me al those years ago. This new situation made me an omaoma ( this sounds way nicer than great grandmother)

Recently I was told - "omaoma- we are to become proud parents of another child in our midst". Oh more joys and blessings. Life, full circle. Here we go again. My puzzle pieces all used up to make this picture complete. 

Is life perfect?

No, of course not. Oh yes it is. There will always be things in life we would like to happen in a way that fits our perception. No ups and downs, no unknown events or irregularities. Smooth sailing.

It appears that the expecting mum had a wee scare. Extra care is to be taken to protect this new life in being. Tensions because of the unknown events not te be controlled by us mere mortals cause other tensions. But that is no reason not to count blessings. However small or large.

I can now send emails and tekst messages and make use of Skype. Be there in other ways than in person. My blessings are in abundance. What a joy. What a miracle.

Time flies

...even when you are not having fun!

But in my case, it is all fun. Not simple, not without fatigue, down moments or pure dancing in the wind. But shifting has it's golden tint. Fresh and new we have started 2015 at our new address.

The boxes line the hallway and aren't all unpacked yet, the shelving in some cupboards haven't all be placed, the new set drawers for the bedroom is in a state of assembly, not ready for use however. Clothes still litter the floor.

View from  my office window

We have till Friday to empty the house of the rest of our belongings. We meet the buyers and Estate Agent there on Friday to do a 'check over' and read the meters. At 13:30 we hand over the key. Two weeks earlier than plannend. It suited both parties to shift the date forward. Did kinda stretch our capacity to stay afloat. But we coped, just.

January is in full swing and we are too. Today the technician arrived and installed internet. Our home is now 'connected' to the outside world. We have radio, tv, phone AND internet. We retired the old portable radio, decorated the wall with a flatscreen, booted up the computers and entered our codes for Internet. Hey bingo- it all worked. A few minor alterations and one hurdle to go - my printer can't find my computer - and we are airborne.

It excites me as well as unnerves me - this huge change in our situation. We have chosen for an apartment. Is this our 'last fase' we have entered into? You know, slowly letting go, that sort of thing. We are critical of the objects we save or discard. Who wants to find this or that once we are gone? Do we still need or will we read this or that? We have more nos' then yes'. Our space is a wee bit limited now - a house has more storage possibilities, a huge disadvantage for someone who develops sentimental value and showers it on gifts given, photos taken, dried flowers kept, baby toys nurtured and scrapbooks created. Have cupboard, loft or chest - will save! Oh danger danger!

Be gone.... you are no longer necessary or needed for 'later'. Yesterday I walked to a local primary school and left behind a few items I held dear from my teaching time. It sort of hurt and made happy at the same time. Hurt because I knew- no longer needed. Felt good because the teaching staff loved what I brough them for their students.

I need to 're-group'. Find my feet. A new schedule for the things that I need to do. It will take time to gather my wits and feel settled. Find a balance between work, home and play! But I will get there. The challenge is to keep sane, relaxed and calm in the process.

Week 1: 2015

The first week of - 2015 well underway.....

Wishing all my readers blessings in abundance, good health,  joys and laughter, and fortitude and wisdom for the less fun parts.

A clean slate.... A new beginning. And how will this year shape up for you?

Are you in the habit of setting goals, NY resolutions or take each day as it comes?

A few years ago I disciplined myself.... No commitments further that two weeks ahead. My diary had been nightmarishly full the previous years and I  had to disappoint people as I had booked myself up so far in advance that I sadly had to say no on quite a number of occasions for very special get togethers.

Once again, I have resolved to limit my engagements. It worked before, so is bound to again.

We have shifted home during this festive season. My aim is to 'get sorted' before Easter. A huge task believe you me! From a three level home to an apartment.

Writing routine to be re- installed, being very slap dash at present.

Wonder how my summing up - in December 2015 is going to shape up?

Happy days everyone....and see you again soon

Advent: Week IV - It is getting closer

Well, here we are, the 4th Sunday in Advent.

And where am I in the preparations? At this point in time my home and it's contents are in disarray. In a matter of days we will be leaving this home for another one - leaving neighbours who will then be friends to visit. Starting somewhere new - looking for permanence knowing that nothing in life is.

We aim to make this our ' last move' with the intention of spending the years we have left, at this address, surrounded by those who will become our new neighbours, of whom some will become friends.

During the past three weeks whilst sanding, painting, scraping, wallpapering and shopping I have been very conscious of this Advent Season. Not only because I chose to focus AND write about the subject from my point of view - but watching, hearing and experiencing people's activities around me. Their preparations, hectic lives and diaries. Rushing here and there like busy ants - gathering, organising, planning their up and coming festivities.

What was a re-occurring subject however was: the 'lost' contact with someone they loved, cared for and who had been a part of their lives. Be it a brother, sister, parent, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, neighbour or friend. Someone they had fallen out with for whatever reason. This person missing from the card list, table and home.

I too have lost the friendship and love of someone close. To this day - it continues to niggle, stab, unsettle and cause sadness and unrest in my body. It is an indescribable missing you feeling.

How to bridge the gap? There have been attempts - to no avail. DO I try again?

I bring you PEACE - let PEACE be with you - are Jesus' words to us ALL. 

In homes, families, at work, school, on the playground, in clubs and neighbourhoods, in villages and cities, in countries - PEACE be with US ALL.

How to bring about this peace I miss? I will reach out with a Christmas Peace message of:

HOPE

LOVE

JOY

PEACE

and pray it will be received in the spirit of the season.

Is their someone you miss, or want back in your life? Now might just be that moment..... let these next few days give you the encouragement to reach out - not looking at who is responsible for the break - but looking to bridge that gap and healing the relationship.

Imagine that there is PEACE in the hearts of ALL - Oh just IMAGINE.

Wishing all my readers every blessing this Yuletide season of 

 HOPE, LOVE, JOY and PEACE.

Advent: Week III - feast day is nearing

The past two weeks I have focussed on issues relating to pregnancy, young mothers, life, gratitude and the like. All things one can mindfully 'do'.

Seems to me, that preparation in the actual physical sense is also an important aspect of any special event - so this week I want to include a focus on that.

Onze again a list of things come to mind. To celebrate something it seems obvious that this is done in the company of family and friends. For many the tradition is so set in concrete that the preparations are almost done mechanically like any well oiled routine. The menu is set, the guests are known, the place setting at the table always the same and the decorations familiar to all.

For others it can be a challenge - parents and in laws alternating between Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Do we GO there or do they COME over? Memories of joy or friction keep minds actively remembering the past experiences. The influence on the preparations can be quite daunting or give your feet wings.

The physical preparations can help heighten the excitement - making the up and coming event visible. The planning of the menu, decorations, pre-baking and cooking, maybe purchasing a new outfit. Sending Christmas greetings to those near and far.

Then there is the down side for those struggling with issues.

Family friendships and feuds have their origins during this ' merry' season. For some the most stressful period - for others the highlight of their year. Not everyone looks forward to Christmas Day.

So this week - my prayer and thoughts go out to those struggling to get through this period - due to;

 Personal stress.

Realtionship tensions.

Too heavy a work load. 

Anxiety.

Walking on a tightrope.

Financial worries.

Sad memories.

Missing loved ones.

The list could be longer - but enough to let you know - someone cares.

Despite the sadness and reasons for this pain, I pray that a ray of light will shine upon those households where darkness has descended.

This feast day - whether people are believers or not - has the potential to bring the JOY and PEACE we all seek and hold dear. Peace starts right here with me and I invite you to share your peace with those around you.

Advent week II - Thankful

Sunday the second week of Advent 

Last week I started the Advent blog with the theme Preparation - young first time mothers.

It kept me pretty well engaged all week - with snippets here and there including during my prayer for these young mums and the uncertain future many face.

This week I want to concentrate on being THANKFUL

Here in Nederland we have just had the feest of Sinterklaas ( Saint Nicholas )

Our national celebration has been tainted by the recent upsurge and focus on the possible implications of racism. How this saintly man would cringe if he was aware of the furore his birthday now causes. Anyway, I digress......

The presents have been store, broken, hidden or swapped, the decorations stashed for another year and today a new day...! Out of sight out of mind.

This led me to think about being thankful AFTER the event. How quickly one picks up the daily routines after being on the receiving end of gifts, attention or whatever focus one has received.

How much effort and time do I put into being THANKFUL for all I have and am able to do?

So, this week my goal is to concentrate on being THANKFUL for just BEING.

Thankful for living the life I lead.

Thankful for the loving people I meet and enhance my life.

Thankful for the love I receive and am able to give.

Thankful I was able to watch THE most amazing sunrise this morning.

Thankful I have a warm bed to sleep in.

Thankful for the freedom to say - I BELIEVE.

Thankful that I feel free to write my thoughts for others to read.

Thankful for my sense of humour.

Thankful for my energy and enthusiasm for life.

Thankful that I am blessed with 3 beautiful children and their partners.

Thankful for the love of grandchildren.

Thankful for the strength to carry burdens heavy and light.

Thankful for the guidance.

I take responsibility for the fact that I don't stop and think to say THANKS often enough for my life and all it entails.

This week - I say THANK YOU to God. 

For life, for love for family and friends and for all the ME that I NEED to BE.

As busy as a bumble bee can be

Change is afoot - and like the blog on Advent

Preparation is of the essence

My husband and I are preparing to change our lifestyle

We prayed about it, we sought advice, we discussed and we took the plunge

We are moving into an apartment

Everything on one level - not 4 like here

We want to have more time to enjoy other activities

It seemed a shame to hog the house and all it has to offer to ourselves

whilst we weren't making use of all the facilities and opportunities.

We have bought and sold - we are  in the throws of sanding, painting, scraping, and more scraping, sanding, painting and preparing.

Needless to say - blogging has had to take a back seat.

And once we are settled

I will have more opportunity to do what I love to do

To write and hopefully fulfill a dream, to Blog my thoughts, to complete the started photo albums and to update the grandchildren's annual albums.

So, have patience with me - I will endeavour to place something when I have a gap

( that is - when I am not flaked out on the couch after a day's toil)

With a view like that - I will want to sit at my desk from dawn to dusk

Or........ ??!!

It is all in the preparation

First Sunday of Advent

Today, the first Advent candle will be lit in preparation for Christmas.

Like all events, both joyful and sad, we prepare. Each 'theme' has a ritual all of it's own, unique to the circumstance.

The energy we engage in the preparation tells us how special the up and coming event is to us.

Things to consider are: the importance of the event, the people involved or those you wish to involve, the setting, decorations or to keep it sober, food, music and a host of other practical issues.

This, the first Sunday of Advent, is the starting shot for the preparations for the feast of Christmas, the birth of Christ our saviour. Baby Jesus. Mary is preparing to give birth. A young woman facing the prospect of becoming a mum. And in her situation, a special mum. A mum to a special child.

It takes me back to my pregnancy, being far from my parents and other family in a country that was my new home.

I will be thinking about new mums this week, those far from home, from familiar surroundings, facing the birth of their fist born. Their special child.

My thoughts will be on the impact this child will have on the parents and extended family. The prospects and realisation( or not)  of dreams.

In prayer I will ask for guidance, strength and support for all those preparing for a new life.

May your preparations too be thorough and exciting at the prospect of the things to come.

Who is with me on this?

It has been a lovely, lazy yet well filled Sunday. The sun gently warmed the earth, the rooftop of our home and the last of the flower heads after a long season in bloom.

I can remember going to work in the wee early morning hours, slip sliding on the frosty roads and returning with snowflakes gently falling on the road before me. Somehow those early long cold winters have adjusted themselves to something more comfortable - not that I minded the snow. I have a preference for the cooler seasons. If I was to have to have to name a favourite season my choice would be difficult. If I had to name my least liked season - easy - Summer. Not a fleeting one - but those LONG drawn out HOT summers that some people seem to thrive on. They drain me.

So what a wonderful start to November. Unheard of according to those who keep a record of the country's temperatures and weather charts.

On a day like today one could almost assume that all is well in the world. That birds everywhere sing their happy songs, that all children laugh and play and that families are united at the dinner table to discuss what intrigues them. Smiling faces, laughter, a filled belly and contentment all round. Well, one can dream........!

On such a beautiful day I was taken aback that my thoughts went out to WAR verses PEACE! and the futility of it all.

Never, or at least not since records were being held - have the inhabitants of this planet lived in peace.

It saddens me. And I am left wondering - Wondering why rulers, governments of countries find it their business to step into a quarrel that isn't theirs. This action is often justified by saying " but we want to HELP- we want to help provide the solution, to stop the fighting"

Subsequently,  they GO AND FIGHT! 

How in Heaven's name does that HELP anyone or anything. 

Those soldiers don't bring peace they bring GUNS.

The soldiers have hatred in their hearts - what you have in you - you portray!

And the killing, the war, the struggle for power continues.

What would be ideal would be soldiers who bring PEACE - not with guns, but with love, with acceptance and tolerance. I pray for peace and love in the hearts of those who have taken up arms. I know, you are going to respond by saying - we don't live in an IDEAL WORLD. Well, pardon me if I don't agree.

This planet and all creation was created in all it's PERFECTION. Then as cherry on the cake - people were created. To serve this planet, to nurture, guard and tend it. To protect life and hold it dear.

WHEN oh WHEN are we going to heed that call?

Spread HAPPINESS people - PLEASE spread happiness and not WAR.

Let the birds sing their songs for ALL to hear. 

STOP THE SIRENS, MORTAR AND BOMBINGS!

Let all children laugh and play.

CREATE A SAFE WORLD FOR OUR CHILDREN

Fill all bellies with food.

LET THE SOLDIERS LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, PICK UP A SHOVEL TO WORK THE EARTH TO PROVIDE FOOD FOR ALL

Let laughter fill the air

REPLACE FEAR WITH HAPPINESS.

No, I am not a doom thinker. I am hopeful. Hopeful that more and more people realise that WAR isn't the way. And by adding my 5 cents worth I may just sow a seed somewhere, somehow.

And it starts with me. Who is going to join me?

I am going to fill my heart daily with LOVE. Keep topping it up till I RADIATE it so I can help spread LOVE.

PEACE

( check out this link and be inspired)