Looking for a piece of my past

Well, I have never done this before.

My memory is still pretty well in tact. Yes, I forget where I leave my keys every now and then. Occasionally I might have a wee gap when it comes to a conversation, details about a trip or what was on the shopping list I wrote but left on the table. Apart from that, I think the memory is pretty efficient.

What might help, is that I have a huge collection of photos. Which, this day and age, is even easier than before. With a simple tap on the screen of my phone, I manage to perpetuate the moment. Helps when wanting to re-live that moment of remember who I was with at the time or why 😛.

f/s Flavia, Carol with niece Leanne
Carol, Carol on park bench by lake,
Carol and I in Pakuranga,
Carol and Toni and Reece in Pakuranga

Now the reason for my blog today. I would so LOVE to re-kindle a friendship from yesteryear. My last contact with this person was in the 1980's. The last photo I have of her - is from 1985.

On the 30th December 1966 my parents, two brothers, one sister and I boarded the F/S Flavia, an Italian owned liner, in Auckland, New Zealand. We were due to sail for Europe with first being part of a cruise which was in progress at time of boarding.

Here, onboard, I met Carol. She and her parents and 2 brothers, one older one younger, were part of the cruise passengers on board. Carol and I were pretty similar age and the click was immediate. We got on. From day 1 I had a friend. Not for long though, as in Melbourne, Carol and her family left the boat being the end of their cruise. It was a short but firm friendship- and we stated corresponding immediately.

I kept a diary at the time- but unfortunately, that has since been lost. For quite some years we wrote. My life took another big twist and I ended up back in New Zealand. We kept corresponding.

In the late '70s Carol paid a visit to me and my young family. We lived in Pakuranga, Auckland, New Zealand at the time. I had two children, Toni and Reece. Carol had secured a job on a luxury liner of which I cannot recall the name ( hahah) and we picked het up from the wharf so she could spend some time with us relaxing and renewing our friendship in a special way.

A few more letters and photos followed- then SILENCE! For many reasons not only my life but hers too was constantly changing.

While tidying my shelves, ring binders and a photo box with a collection of all sorts, I came across the photos of my long lost friend Carol. I have no idea if Carol wants to be reminded of this period. I do not even know if Carol is alive and well somewhere enjoying a happy and loving life. It is my hope- but more than that I cannot be sure of.

Details: Carol Robins, 7 Greta Road Wangaratta, Victoria, Australia ( I can dream that address)
Born somewhere around '52-54. Worked as a administrator I thought first, then on board the liner for a number of cruises. Carol had an accident in the '80s which left het with diabetes due to the shock. Somewhere in the back of my mind I believe she shifted out of Wangaratta but that is really vague.

Her older brother's name was Kevin.

So now, my request. Well it is pretty obvious. Would you please share this message around?  If you think you may have some information regarding Carol, her family, her whereabouts.... ! Just add a message to this blog or email me at 3deschoffie@gmail.com

Happy searching, hunting, spreading, reading!

PS: Here a link to the followup of my quest to find Carol
http://mythoughtsinadayinthelifeof.blogspot.nl/2017/03/ode-to-my-past-in-loving-memory.html

It is just one of those days

Yes, it is still winter here. We have had such mild weather. Not the harsh winters of my childhood. A slight dusting of snow.  Quite a few crisp and crunchy frosts followed by sun filled days with clear blue skies. No real rainfall to even mention it. In fact the rivers were at an all time low every now and then, causing concern for the shipping industry.

But today, all that changed. A storm is raging outside. The wind is howling past my window. In fact, it is trying to come inside. I can feel a slight draught from where I sit at my desk. Furiously the branches of the trees are bending and waving every which way that if they were people they'd be dizzy and not be able to stand upright. I fear that some may loose a branch or two and even others will simply not stand up to the furore and strength of this wind almost gale force. A 'code orange' has been issued.

We live along a river, gladly on the third floor. The water is rising rapidly and the clouds hold promise of more wet stuff to come. Winter is not over by a long shot.

As it is in Heaven-trailer

Today is a 'down day', me keeping a low profile and not being very active. I have had some really hectic weeks of late- time to chill down ( sorry about the pun here) and give myself a break. Lovely to be able to watch the developing storm from a warm and secure distance - but feel for those having to brave the elements.

A month or so ago when we had a similar - but not nearly as violent a day, I baked. Lovely. A warm, comfortable and nostalgic feeling. Baking odours, yummy cookies and a freshly baked loaf.  Cozier than that is hard to get.

Today a different emotion has taken hold. More sensitive and less active. I discovered a memory- something that fitted my mood for today. A film I watched a few years ago now. In fact I have replayed it a few times- and feel the urge to repeat the experience. The Swedish movie called: As it is in Heaven. Do you know it? Have you heard of it? Oh what a movie. What a story and superb acting. Goosebumps jus thinking about it. And that feels so right for today. Goosebumps but then of the pleasant emotional variety.

So I googled, went to Youtube and listened to one of the songs which touched me deeply. The text so powerful, the music so full of feeling. Here the link to the version with English subtitles. Cabriellas Song.

The song, the memories and the story line were a perfect accompaniment for today's conditions. I have enjoyed the moment. The day is slowly drawing to a close, getting dark early due to the low and threatening cloud formations crowding the skies. As the water rises in the river below, I am grateful for my warm and comfortable home! Snug as a bug in a rug- I am safe, warm and content.

Hope you had a good and satisfying week.

Due to the feeling I have that time is slipping through my fingers, I have tried to be more aware of my activities each day- so I can maybe change my routines or somehow get more out of my 24 hours.

Monday: Time for some serious housework. Spent lots of time away from home the past week due to m-i-law (ma)  breaking her wrist. She is doing extremely well and I can only say I am pleased and glad I had the time to spend being there for her while she needs me. Cooked meals - also for ma and 'oom' Arie - a courtesy uncle who is alone and not comfortable cooking 'ordinary' meals. He loves it when we drop in.

Tuesday:- A few wee chores at home and hung out the washing before I took ma to the hospital to have the temporary plaster removed, wrist checked and a new cast fitted. Ma (87)  is feeling lots better than last week- but today has tired her a bit. Stopped for some shopping on the way home- sorted a few wee jobs. Called into 'ex' neighbours for our first port of call this year. We enjoyed a good relationship as neighbours and want to keep in touch as friends. Home and time to cook dinner. Hubby had a meeting to attend. I had a couch to surf on. Still hurts my ear when I swallow.

Wednesday:- Called in to visit friends for coffee at their cafe. His health not the best- wanted to see how things were progressing - or not! On the way home some grocery shopping. Had guests coming for dinner. Their home being renovated and the lounge, dining room and kitchen floor was being refurbished. Decided to not cook a run of the mill meal- finally challenged myself into cooking Beef Wellington. Also managed to produce a meal for 'oom' Arie. After dinner and guests had left ( brother in law also ate with us) we had some stuff to discuss in relation to b-i-law's own house issues. He wants to renovate and reorganise. Must be spring in the air!! Bit weary - not quite over my own flu episode yet- so another couch moment was in the offing.

Thursday:- Cook some meals for ma so she can reheat at leisure. Also cooked for 'oom' Arie. Ran some chores for ma and picked up some boxes for a friend who is shifting- I said spring was in the air didn't I? Went to funeral in the afternoon- on the way home called into some close friends- hadn't seen them in a while and were now close by. Was good to catch up and leave the 'always a bit somber funeral feeling' behind. Hubby delivered the boxes, picked up some shopping, dropped of meal to 'oom' Arie while I baked Appeltaart with blueberries to have with coffee. We were expecting company that evening. While baking also cooked a huge pot of vege soup. YUM. No time to couch surf.

Friday:- Bit chilly outside. Frost has returned. Friend is shifting. Needs a bit of help getting organised with the planning. Is single and we have recently shifted so bit 'in the know'. Good to be able to help. Had soup for lunch. Warmed us up. Hubby also sorting out our storage. Every now and then it needs a bit of a tidy up. I feel the need for some 'down time' so have written up one of my other blogs - on recipes and stuff.

It is Friday afternoon and almost 'PORT O'CLOCK". The week has once again flown. Needless to say there were more things - like our own stuff that helped fill the past week. All things considered we managed to complete what was necessary and then some.

Happy weekend everyone!

Smiles instead of frowns

I posted a message on my FB wall the other day.. it went like this:

I have had it with staring blindly and with dismay at all those Trump messages and items. It would have one think that there is nothing else happening in the world. Well there are wonderful things to be happy about. And I would LOVE to see HAPPY ITEMS fill the screen. Who is with me in this? How about starting and closing the day with a HAPPY POST.

The thing is Mr President is enjoying all the attention he is getting and I believe this works as an incentive to be even more destructive.

Today I have decided to no longer react to any TRUMP posts. No more sharing - no more emoticons, no more likes or dislikes.

It is Sunday. The sun is out, haven't seen it for a while. People are walking their dogs in the park, children on their bikes. The world is smiling at you and me. Let's share HAPPY messages.

It is all about which way we look at ourselves and the world around us. Let's reflect love and friendship. Well, that's my goal anyway.

End of post

I missed out saying that there are sad things too, and there are sad events that hurt because life itself brings about a dose of smiles and a dose of tribulations. The whole point of the message was - STOP WITH DOOM SPREADING. No more objections, judgements or unbridled insults. Thing is - many of those comments I actually took time to read weren't even of Americans or people immediately affected by the decisions made by the new president of the USA.


Sure his methods, actions and way he sees the world are as far removed from me as can be - BUT, I am NOT the president of the USA. No matter how bad I think some of his decisions are- it isn't up to me to spread all those uncensured comments that others place on Social Media. I do not believe that spreading hateful and damaging comments do anything at all to help bring about change.

My task in the life isn't about people bashing. It is about being the best possible person I can be. By respecting life, buy being there for those who seek me out to help them. My business is to be honest, caring, compassionate and cheery.

I want my smile to affect someone whose smile has faded. I would like to think my arm around someone's shoulder gives encouragement and support. My aim is to say uplifting encouraging things to someone needing to hear them.

No longer am I prepared to help others do something I have no business doing. Slandering and cursing.

No way am I behaving like an ostrich with my head in the sand. On the contrary. In no way at all do I condone attacks on people of any ethnic group what so ever. My vision is one of peace and caring for this planet so my grandchildren and their children may enjoy life to it's fullest like generations before them have. I believe in dialogue and compromises. In sharing and caring.

As a child I had plenty of people around me I looked up to and wanted to 'grow up to be like'. They are still my example and heroes.

In each day there will be things to be grateful for - and my hope is that people will start focussing on those so as to lift their spirits and let hope gain strength so down play and minimise the damage all that screaming and yelling that is happening world wide.

All in all it has been a lovely day!

A late start. Not the best night's sleep. Blocked nose and all the discomfort that goes with it. I even spent a few hours on the couch not wanting to disturb my partner. He was due for an early start and quite a energetic day- so he needed to be refreshed when he woke.

I did hear the alarm- and him getting up. After that peace reigned again. I also had noticed in that wee gap of being awake that my nose was less problematic than earlier in the night. Yippeeeee! I dozed back off.

As I opened one eye and the other eyelid slowly followed suit, I saw the digits on the clock 10:37am. OMgoodness. That late!! I got up and walked into the living area. A note lay on the table. It read, " hope you slept ok? See you tonight."

I made a cuppa, added a slice of lemon. Re-rubbed my soles of my feet with Vicks and pulled my socks back on. After a quick brush of the teeth and a splash of water on my now truly awake face I dropped onto the chair and slowly focussed on what was to be, my short morning.

The weather was a perfect mirror of how I felt. The sky wanted to clear and become blue, but didn't quite make it. The sun did try to shine- but shone elsewhere. The misty rain that slowly developed caused my view to deterioratie. It fitted me like a glove.

By about 13:30 I had stopped breathing through my mouth. Nose started to clear some more. Things were looking up. I still sneeze, about 23 seconds after that sharp prickle jabs the interior of my nasal passage. Just enough time to grab the nearest tissue at hand. I will have to wash my woolly top tomorrow- especially the crook in the elbow part of the sleeve- it catches my sneeze if I am caught without a tissue. Better that then spray the room.

Then I heard a ringing noise. First thought it was my head cold causing music in my ears. But no way! I was to be distracted by a HAPPY EVENT. The doorbell went down in the lobby - we live in an apartment building. " A parcel for you ma'am." HUGE, it was HUGE. My new Kenwood KN287 All in One Kitchen machine. YESSSS. I couldn't care anymore about the nose, the sneezes, the slowly becoming darker sky.

I was in KITCHEN WALHALLA.

At first I didn't want to open this HUGE box. Wait till hubby arrived back - I resisted and resisted. But alas, the apple looked so tempting, I grabbed a small knife and proceeded to slice the tape. One at a time I lifted the flaps to reveal - ANOTHER BIG BOX!

I made a coffee and sat there looking at this box with it's text - KENWOOD KITCHEN MACHINE!

Coffee done- back to the task of giving in to my urge to unwrap. All the components were finally on the table. Glad we have a big table.

It felt like Santa had granted me my biggest wish ever! In a manner of speaking that is 😀. Not everyone goes into a happy rain dance at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

I am back after a wee break. Got to finish my blog.

 Evening has fallen. My hubby has been given a demonstration to see how all the attachments fit and to what use they are. I have removed the loose components I had as tools ( hand mixer, juice press, liquidizer and foodprocessor from my pantry. After years of faithful service they now will be transferred to other homes, other kitchens, other users. Their usefulness, except for the foodprocessor, is still present. Too good to dump so passing them on.

From the miserable, feeling yukky and blurry to feeling on top of my world - it has been a LOVELY DAY!

Aahhtishoooo!!

When your child hurts

As far as I am aware most parents hurt when their child hurts. I say most because of the reports that appear in the media about child abuse in homes and child maiming or death instances where parents are found to be negligent or worse guilty of abhorrent treatment of their children. So, I repeat, MOST parents hurt when their child hurts. Whether it is with a common flu or 'minor' ailment to severe health issues which might mean heavy and drastic treatments.

But not only when your child is ill do you 'feel' their pain. Problems at school, relationship upsets, job struggles, personal struggles to name a few instances when I as a mum can truthfully say, " I hurt right along side you." If possible there are moments when you want to take their pain away to ease stress, sadness and in some instances - despair. I know, it is called life, lessons learned, their own walk. I know... it is just, well I just don't want them to have any kind of hurt!

(This blog is written from a MUM'S perspective. I realise dads feel things too - only I cannot describe those emotions because I am a MUM. So don't feel left out dads. I understand you too feel the pain- your way.)

When I was 13 my mum gave birth to my baby brother. Although a healthy looking baby, pretty hefty health issues were discovered. I recall my mum praying that she would rather loose the use of her legs in order that her baby would walk. He had spina bifida with a twist, and kyphosis of the spine. It turned our family's world upside down.

I am proud and pleased to mention my brother is a dad of 3 and just recently celebrated his 50th birthday. A miracle child in more ways than one. Mum mum did keep the use of her legs - with 5 hip operations and 2 knee surgeries. But hey, maybe she would have had to have those anyway! Who knows.

Being a MUM of 3, I too have had my shared sad moments when ills and unhappiness entered the lives of my children. Being an oma I now feel unsettled and connected with my grandchildren when they have their moments. A few years ago the intense disbelief and grief at the death of my step grandson, that pain lingers even still. Recently one had a ski accident, thankfully no lasting effects, there have been all sorts of health issues per child as per usual. The various levels of distress at times do creep up on me. NO, I am not a sad, forlorn, depressed person in any way or form. I think it is a natural healthy and emotional connection I experience with my children and grandchildren.

I 'feel' the happy moments too. My internal system detects up and downs - without even trying. I call it a blessing.

And now, for the BIG STUFF. What happens when you hear that your adult child is ill. Someone who has an independent life, family and friends. Does that pain then no longer affect you? Well, let me tell you, it still hurts. And for your child you want to be strong, encouraging, understanding, a rock, the shelter to run to. You want to have the wisdom, energy, the courage to be there hiding your own fears sadness and concerns. And as a mum you too need time to let the dust settle, come to terms with and get a grip on .... !

I received a long and detailed account of someone's daughter going through more than a wee rough health patch. More like a jungle. Not only does the patient have to digest all the information and let it all 'land' but those around close to her are also affected. And the ripple spreads.

In this big pond of loving and caring people, of which I am privileged to be one, we all want to swim with her. Our arms are there to catch her when she fears she will fall. But not only the patient - the MOTHER too will also need a floaty - an air cushion of love to ease the pain she feels - because HER CHILD HURTS.

Right this minute, and I know it will ease, I too hurt. For the mums with pain, because 

YOUR CHILD HURTS and YOU DO TOO!

Whichever way you look....

Whichever way one looks at life will determine one's demeanor. If you had a good night's sleep and wake up refreshed - one can tackle anything that comes on one's path. Have you tossed and turned, gone to bed too late and the alarm went off before you were rested, then every little task can seem a chore.

From experience I have found that the way I look at a task or up and coming event is telling for my success or failure to enjoy.

Take cooking for a group. I LOVE cooking, I love being amongst friends and I get pure JOY from deciding on a menu, the challenges of new recipes and the final moment when te meal hits the table. So whether I have slept badly or not - the JOY of COOKING will ensure that I have a successful and enjoyable day. Someone asked " what can I wake you up for in the middle of the night?" and I replied - "as long as you are hungry I will cook something for you!"

On the other hand - my administration. You know, keeping the files up to date, accounts files and all sorts of documents stored etc. Whereas many moons ago I loved 'playing office' and was quite sharp in that area - I now loathe the task and unfortunately, that means I let things slide. I am careless with some documents, I stash stuff in a box and think- yeah yeah- later! I have lost the 'FUN' feeling this task held for me.

It is that time of year again- tax time is looming. Even though I am also dependent on outside forces to send the annual records which I need to complete my tax return, I could, should and have to get my own 'house' sorted and up to date. I keep procrastinating. Which only makes the task less appealing.

So this morning I decided to challenge myself into turning my thoughts around on this matter. A new approach to things to avoid. On attempting to look at this task differently to entice me to embark on my 'adventure' in ADMINLAND!

I am going to purchase some new colourful binders, a new note book and set up a time table in which to have chores done by so that a whole year of administration is broken down into smaller tasks. I will be posting times into my diary so I keep those days during the year free to update my administration. It then should only take 30-60 minutes a time. Now I know I will be active all week to get things completed to my satisfaction.

I know for a fact this will work for me as I applied it to some other 'nasties' on my to do list. And I have to say - I have less and less things I avoid doing. Breaking larger tasks down into small jobs does make things easier to handle ( for me).

So today - I am going to change my view of ADMINISTRATION TASKS and embrace them instead of avoid them.

Well, that is step one. My dairy appointments with myself are done. The old binders are on my desk and I will start 'unfiling' them today- keeping what's relevant. The newly purchased will be filled tomorrow. The box which holds a 'horror' moment- will be tackled later this week. And by the end of the month I should be all sorted. A first so soon into the New Year for me.

The clock is ticking.....

Tick tock tick tock- goes the clock. I don't know if you notice or experience it as I do, but somehow the days seem to dissolve into nothingness at a speed of knots that is making me nervous.

I seem to be ticking off my days on the calendar faster than I have ever done. I wake up Monday morning and before I can complete my set tasks it is Friday afternoon.

And it isn't just me. All around me I hear the same comments.

Is that a real reflection of what is ging on? Is the world spinning faster, are our days losing time? Hardly seems possible. Yet, for some things, time is running out. For certain species animals in our wonderful and colourful world of nature- things aren't looking too cheerful. Ice caps and glaciers are losing ground ( or in their instance - ice). Flocks of birds are shifting their breeding grounds, tree types are threatened as are habitats and small indigenous peoples are being forced into unfriendly and alien territories.

I recently saw this posting of The Free World Charter and it instantly reminded me of a book I used to read to my children and later my students at school. My grandchildren have also got a copy of this book- which I feel ought to be in all homes and lessons taken from it put into practice.

And the book is called: The LORAX by Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss wasn't so silly after all when he wrote this book which was published in 1971. I guess people didn't take it seriously because it was ' a children's book!' What may also have played a role was that the damage brought to light in the book- wasn't as evident then as it is now. The thought- we have TIME to fix this, also played  apart I feel.

BUT people, the rate things are going - TIME isn't our friend anymore as far as this subject is concerned. We NEED to wake up- NOW!! And YES, YOU CAN make a difference. All little bits help.

Maybe I am speaking to the converted and my readers already recycle, grow their own vegetables, ride bikes when possible instead of taking cars. Maybe you do already contribute by having solar panels and eat meat only once a week- or not at all. So, well done for that. And thank you. BUT there is MORE.

We need to not preach - but encourage others to join us.

Invite acquaintances over for dinner and cook and serve fresh produce- so they can taste the difference.

Do stop and pick up that discarded tin can, food wrapper, Mc-ers meal box, which hasn't landed in the rubbish bin where it belonged - but missed the  mark. Help it find it's way there.

Sort your refuse- plastic, metals, paper, food scraps and 'ordinary' waste.

Avoid the 'cheap clothing' stores. Better to have a 'environmentally and employment friendly fabricated clothing article which lasts then 6 cheaper unfriendly versions.

Educate your (grand) children - especially by example. If you pick up the chippie wrapper and bin it while at the park or on a walk, and they see you do this, they will learn some valuable lessons like:

1. Keep our parks, paths, cities clean- it starts with you
2. Don't litter.
3. Every effort no matter how small- helps.

As far as  projects that are about saving the whale, or whatever- support the initiatives, give credit where credit is due and select appropriate materials when purchasing home products.

Small things but they all help fill the bucket.

Anyway, enough of my ranting and raving. It all came about the memory of reading Dr Seuss great book- The Lorax. If you haven't read it- time you did! Think it out to be more widely read and promoted.

Changes can, generally speaking, be unsettling

The saying, " a change is as good as a rest" isn't always as restful as one might imagine.

We human beings are creatures of habit, of rituals and routines. We like to know what the day or event has in store for us. At least have some indication of what we might expect. And of late,  that isn't always as clear as we would like it to be.

Take changing jobs for instance, shifting house, country or lifestyle. In this changing world where most things have become unpredictable as far as long term is concerned. Where marriages hardly last the distance, where gold watched are no longer handed out after 25 years of faithful service, where shops come and go, there isn't much that holds promise for longevity - except for us humans. We live longer in a more unstable world.

Events world wide are splashed on screens and in newspapers and reach our ears sometimes before the storm has died down, dust has settled or embers are smoldering. And before the news is old and cold- a new disaster reaches our ears and eyes. And I haven't even mentioned political unrest and abhorrent offences against human beings.

My last blog was about TRUST- the trust we have lost in so many instances. In people close to us, in friendships, in promises, in politicians, in those who have been elected to guide and protect us.

What I would like to see happen, is that we ourselves become that reliable factor in the lives of those around us and in our own lives. That stability and the comfort and security that it brings those around us, also ourselves, helps restore some of this unrest in us as a people. That we know that we can count on ME, YOU and the OTHER PERSON.

Somewhere, some how we have become restless, insecure and indecisive. It has become harder to hold onto a decision we have made - we dither in uncertainty. This reflects in all we do. Our 'leading examples' our ' heroes' from yesteryear have vanished or at best have become invisible or unreliable to many.

Time to turn the tide. I am an Optimistic Realist/ Realistic optimist. I believe people CAN bring about the right sort of change of which we all can benefit.

I believe we are more resiliant than we believe ourselves to be.

It is January 2017. Let's make it a TOGETHER and TRUSTWORTHY year! Let's fulfill promises, offer assistance to those needing our support and reach out from within.

Trust or disillusionment, hope or despair

" Did you watch tv last night? That programme about how unsafe internet is. I think it was called " big brother is watching you - not sure, but that was the message. Quite scary really."

I was having lunch with a friend recently. We were at a lovely little cafe, busy but relaxed. Nice atmosphere, safe, trendy and welcoming. Somehow, the urgency in which our neighbours at the opposite table were conversing, didn't quite fit the scene. This is where I come to relax and enjoy some time out. And for some reason because of the contents of their conversation, tension had gathered around them and I could feel the anxiety that the young woman exuded. I wasn't going to let it spoil my lunch but did let my thoughts run riot.

My companion also caught the tail end of the conversation, looked at me and said, " oh yes DID you watch it too? It was quite revealing. Glad I am not caught up in all that stuff. No digital anything for me thank you." I mentioned to her that she used Whatsapp, Skype and FaceTime not to mention Google for email. I left her to think that through- and get the feeling she may go through life 'phoneless'! I detected a feeling of DISAPPOINTMENT settling on her. Life is full of uncertainties and insecurities is her final analyses. This reality wiped her good mood away and doom and gloom showed on her face. Our conversation lost its happy and bubbly content. No matter what I said- her mood had shifted to a PONDER! Hence my BLOG content.

Who do we TRUST - or more to the point Who CAN we trust?

Is BIG BROTHER interested in my Internet lifestyle then;
Are my emails interesting reading material?
Do my phone calls make enjoyable eavesdropping?
Are the sites I visit interesting? Who cares whether I like cooking?
Do I get more readers on my BLOG?
Do the number of connections I have on FB make me the envy of those who have less contacts?
Although my bank has a safety net and offers protection - do I need to worry who sees how much ( or rather how little) I have in my bank account?

And then on the ' real life' side of things. Not on internet but in the here and now. In our countries. The events of the past months have highlighted many twists and turns of people in leadership positions. Promises made - promises broken. Yesses turned into Noes and dreams into nightmares. Positives thoughts crushed into negative realities. Who can we TRUST if not those enTRUSTed with the leadership over our countries. In decision making positions of which we are all dependent. Taxes, safety, work and income, relationships with other nationalities ( formal and informal) trade agreements, global and closer to home. All ingredients for a secure and safe existence.

The thing is - deceit and unreliability are fast gaining momentum. Now is the time to turn the tide. The solution lies within our own grasp. All change must come from ones' self. If I want to create a trustworthy situation- then I must start with myself. The more TRUST I show and portray- the more people will regain that feeling. Every step is one on the road to recovery.

I took inward look and realised that there have been moments that I didn't fulfill my own promises to others. Not on a daily basis but it has happened. Not through ill will but circumstances- but none the less- I have appeared and become untrustworthy in some situations and I so regret that.

Recently a BLOG friend asked - what word would you choose to focus on in 2017 so that at the end of the year you might feel that you made a difference? I have chosen -

TRUSTWORTHINESS

It is my intention to be more aware of the pitfalls of broken promises. Of unfulfilled commitments.
I want people to regain their faith in me - that when I say YES or NO that I follow up on that promise. That I can once again look myself and others in the eye and say, " you can rely on me - you can TRUST me.

In doing so I hope that others too find the courage and energy to do the same.

We need TRUST, HOPE and the total COMMITMENT from ourselves and those around us - to make this world a better place to live in, enjoy and tend. For it is our responsibility - each and everyone of us, to live up to that which we ourselves hold dear: TRUST in EACH OTHER. We can always find fault with others and overlook our own failings...

Let us all work together to restore that which is ( almost) lost to us. Before it is too late.

Which word would you choose to honour the coming year?

Reflection

My last blog post was some time ago. There were a number of circumstances why this happened. One technical and a few personal.

The technical aspect has finally been resolved causing me more confidence to actually start up my computer en enjoying the use thereof. Nothing more demotivating ( well one of the 'things' anyway) than trying to use a computer and it not 'wanting' to co-operate in any way of form. Add memory, sort out files and rid one's self of 100's of unnecessary photos and hey presto! More memory, more workspace and no hassles using Office or any of the other increasingly larger growing programmes due to the updates.

The other stuff, well we all have our moments of euphoria as well as dips in our lives I am sure. My mind was preoccupied with stuff that clouded my naturally positive demeanor. I became insecure, unsettled and lacked the confidence I am usually so blessed with to complete some of the tasks at hand.

Funny how 'we' tend to gloss over the down side of our existence. Most of the messages on Social Media are about "happy moments'. Well generally speaking that is. About the party, the friends, the outings, the new job, lover, baby. That the sun shines elsewhere and life is flourishing. I am not talking about those who spend time downing everyone and everything. Those who continue to attack, denigrate and insult others. Obviously for lack of morals, other things to keep them occupied and/or attention they seek, be it negative or positive.

When do you start your day by writing on your page, "Not looking forward to today. A difficult morning at work and feeling the lead drop into my shoes. Maybe I will stay home and ring in sick!" Instead it is, " Slept well - hoping your day goes well too, lovely sunshine today."

What if we were a bit more honest? You see, there are times when it appears I am the only one who has lost the car keys ( because I admit to it), burned the potatoes ( because I admit to doing that) and slept badly ( because I tell someone about my sleepless night). That my administration is a nightmare waiting to be solved, that I forgot to post the birthday cards on time, that my bank account is lower than I would like and I really can't afford to go out with my friends for dinner but DO because I don't want their pity or judgement.

I hardly hear about stuff like that. So I feel inadequate when the sun doesn't shine on my day. Where or what have I done wrong? Am I really the only one with a 'bad hair day?" Well no, don't worry, I am not depressed, I just wanted to use this as a shake up to see if we really are prepared to be honest, to not gloss over stuff and share our worries and concerns. Because at times life is tough. Sometimes that smiley facade just isn't thick enough to stop te hurt, find the solutions or help us through the night. That is one of those moments when we need a friend, when we are allowed to admit to not coping, not managing, not enjoying - some of what life throws at us.

No, I am not advocating filling social media with sad personal messages- but I would like to rattle the doorbell to say, " Call on your friends when the going gets tough. You don't have to gloss over the ripply bits. And if you gauge your friends good enough you will know who to call for whatever ails you. Admitting a struggle isn't weak- ignoring it is. In a time of political uncertainty, job losses galore and unstable financial times, lack of trust in those in positions of 'power and leadership' we need each other more than ever.

Be a friend, be trustworthy, be open, be human. But most importantly- CARE!

Sunset and what went before.

Today is the 30th November 2016. As the hours fade, the 1ste of December quickly approaches as does the end of 2016.

I don't know what sort of year you've had, but mine was very unsettled, full, enjoyable. messy, uncoordinated at the best of times and also rich in blessings and memorable events.

For some reason I seem to have organised times and totally 'free wheeling' times when a routine is as far away as the moon. This affects my writing process as well as my drive to be consistent - even though the thoughts, feelings and urge to write are there. Somehow I just don't push myself enough to 'get things done'. Not chaos in my life but also no structure. And I guess I am not alone. The unsettling events that occasionally rear their heads and cause ripples in my being have played havoc with me these past months.

As our days shorten ( northern hemisphere) and the nights lengthen I look back with a nostalgic glance at all that has been- and look with glad anticipation to what is to come.

It would be foolhardy and naive of me to think there will be no bumps in the road and I am always aware that everyone has their burden of sadness, joy or sorrow. My humble opinion is, that it is how we 'carry' ourselves during these times, which shapes our lives and strengthens our ability to cope. When I look around me at those less fortunate than I - I see courageous, strong and positively inclined individuals conquering their sadness and adversity and soldiering on. Being not content with their lot, but grateful whilst they re-initiate their energy and commitment to carry on.

As I stated, it has been a year of ups and downs, of struggles and conquests, of dreams and disappointments- and for all that I am grateful.

The sun is setting on 2016 and I am enjoying the view. Slowly the skies are turning red, darkish and purple. The moon is taking it's task over from the sun, the stars are raring to sparkle in the frosty sky and I am in the privileged position to be able to take it all in and revel in the beauty of all that is happening around me. I feel and know that I am, blessed.

No, I am not going to wish you a good 2017 yet..there is time and space for more things to come.

Live for today, cherish yesterday and be eager for what tomorrow will bring.