I'm curious whether it is only me. Am I the only person who has 'lost' their daily perspective? Waking up while the list of things one wants to achieve that day, slowly passes the review. The mindful planning, that precedes the actions of the day, so nothing is overlooked and plan B is put into place. How long is your list?
Since Covid19 my zest for the day has not disappeared, only the process how I approach the day has totally changed. There is no need for a plan B, in fact a plan A would be nice.
Now this sounds pretty sad, ungrateful, depressing or maybe a futile statement. It isn't meant to be. This feeling of having lost the essence of my purposeful days is a result of 12 nearly 13 months of lockdown procedures and new rules. The longer it takes the more flat and empty my morning routines become.
I stay in my dressing gown longer. Not if I chose to get the paper from the mailbox. It is situated in the lobby of our apartment building. Dressing therefor is a must 😂. It was a routine I purposely took upon myself for the first 8-10 months. I've slowly let it go now only spasmodically taking the initiative. Instead I let my husband be the 'paper boy' most days.
The neighbourhood where we live is lovely. Enormously green and interesting. There is a small marina, a river, a wee woodland and gorgeous park to walk in. Yes well, I can almost tell you how many blades of grass that grow here and the amount of liters water that stream past as I walk the walk. Oh yes, I am grateful I don't live in a built up area with a view of endless brick walls. True. I do count my blessings. Just the real glossy look has been tarnished.
Do I sit and pick my nose all day? Heaven forbid. Do I neglect contacts with family and friends? Not on your nelly! Have I watched every Netflix series known to (wo)man? Don't have Netflix. Do I have Covid19 kilos? No! I walk or bike to keep fit.
It just feels so, so endless. There is perspective, of course there is. This too will pass. I have come to a point where I'm finding it harder to be happy with what I can do, have got and hopefully, will return.
I am more judgemental. My reaction to the statement, ' the youth has been robbed of a year of their lives' gets my dander up! They aren't alone. I get irate when I see groups of people ignoring the distance request/rule. I don't really care if you don't believe Covid is a serious threat to your health. Just remember it may be to mine or your parents or grandparents.
My main goal every day is, to identify the good bits in my day. That I've had a good laugh, shared a thought or two with a friend. Received a txt from any or all of my children and/or grandchildren. Provide hubby with a delicious meal or enjoy his cooking skills and appreciate his efforts. Be grateful I'm healthy because I'm careful. My problem is, it's just getting more and more challenging to tick more happy moment boxes.
Despite all this, always good to have a moan, is that I know I'm one of the lucky ones. Blessed and rich with all those who are in the same boat as I am. Holding our breath while this threat passes us by. Creating a new day, a new start, a new routine and new opportunities. Can't keep a strong woman down for long.
You are quite right. This year has been so challenging for people all around the world. The media tend to focus on the overall picture, but really it is individual families such as yours where the cost of the lockdown is truly understood. Kia kaha.
ReplyDelete🙏 thank you. A deep sigh!
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