Thursday, 29 December 2016

Trust or disillusionment, hope or despair

" Did you watch tv last night? That programme about how unsafe internet is. I think it was called " big brother is watching you - not sure, but that was the message. Quite scary really."

I was having lunch with a friend recently. We were at a lovely little cafe, busy but relaxed. Nice atmosphere, safe, trendy and welcoming. Somehow, the urgency in which our neighbours at the opposite table were conversing, didn't quite fit the scene. This is where I come to relax and enjoy some time out. And for some reason because of the contents of their conversation, tension had gathered around them and I could feel the anxiety that the young woman exuded. I wasn't going to let it spoil my lunch but did let my thoughts run riot.

My companion also caught the tail end of the conversation, looked at me and said, " oh yes DID you watch it too? It was quite revealing. Glad I am not caught up in all that stuff. No digital anything for me thank you." I mentioned to her that she used Whatsapp, Skype and FaceTime not to mention Google for email. I left her to think that through- and get the feeling she may go through life 'phoneless'! I detected a feeling of DISAPPOINTMENT settling on her. Life is full of uncertainties and insecurities is her final analyses. This reality wiped her good mood away and doom and gloom showed on her face. Our conversation lost its happy and bubbly content. No matter what I said- her mood had shifted to a PONDER! Hence my BLOG content.

Who do we TRUST - or more to the point Who CAN we trust?

Is BIG BROTHER interested in my Internet lifestyle then;
Are my emails interesting reading material?
Do my phone calls make enjoyable eavesdropping?
Are the sites I visit interesting? Who cares whether I like cooking?
Do I get more readers on my BLOG?
Do the number of connections I have on FB make me the envy of those who have less contacts?
Although my bank has a safety net and offers protection - do I need to worry who sees how much ( or rather how little) I have in my bank account?

And then on the ' real life' side of things. Not on internet but in the here and now. In our countries. The events of the past months have highlighted many twists and turns of people in leadership positions. Promises made - promises broken. Yesses turned into Noes and dreams into nightmares. Positives thoughts crushed into negative realities. Who can we TRUST if not those enTRUSTed with the leadership over our countries. In decision making positions of which we are all dependent. Taxes, safety, work and income, relationships with other nationalities ( formal and informal) trade agreements, global and closer to home. All ingredients for a secure and safe existence.

The thing is - deceit and unreliability are fast gaining momentum. Now is the time to turn the tide. The solution lies within our own grasp. All change must come from ones' self. If I want to create a trustworthy situation- then I must start with myself. The more TRUST I show and portray- the more people will regain that feeling. Every step is one on the road to recovery.

I took inward look and realised that there have been moments that I didn't fulfill my own promises to others. Not on a daily basis but it has happened. Not through ill will but circumstances- but none the less- I have appeared and become untrustworthy in some situations and I so regret that.

Recently a BLOG friend asked - what word would you choose to focus on in 2017 so that at the end of the year you might feel that you made a difference? I have chosen -


It is my intention to be more aware of the pitfalls of broken promises. Of unfulfilled commitments.
I want people to regain their faith in me - that when I say YES or NO that I follow up on that promise. That I can once again look myself and others in the eye and say, " you can rely on me - you can TRUST me.

In doing so I hope that others too find the courage and energy to do the same.

We need TRUST, HOPE and the total COMMITMENT from ourselves and those around us - to make this world a better place to live in, enjoy and tend. For it is our responsibility - each and everyone of us, to live up to that which we ourselves hold dear: TRUST in EACH OTHER. We can always find fault with others and overlook our own failings...

Let us all work together to restore that which is ( almost) lost to us. Before it is too late.

Which word would you choose to honour the coming year?

Tuesday, 6 December 2016


My last blog post was some time ago. There were a number of circumstances why this happened. One technical and a few personal.

The technical aspect has finally been resolved causing me more confidence to actually start up my computer en enjoying the use thereof. Nothing more demotivating ( well one of the 'things' anyway) than trying to use a computer and it not 'wanting' to co-operate in any way of form. Add memory, sort out files and rid one's self of 100's of unnecessary photos and hey presto! More memory, more workspace and no hassles using Office or any of the other increasingly larger growing programmes due to the updates.

The other stuff, well we all have our moments of euphoria as well as dips in our lives I am sure. My mind was preoccupied with stuff that clouded my naturally positive demeanor. I became insecure, unsettled and lacked the confidence I am usually so blessed with to complete some of the tasks at hand.

Funny how 'we' tend to gloss over the down side of our existence. Most of the messages on Social Media are about "happy moments'. Well generally speaking that is. About the party, the friends, the outings, the new job, lover, baby. That the sun shines elsewhere and life is flourishing. I am not talking about those who spend time downing everyone and everything. Those who continue to attack, denigrate and insult others. Obviously for lack of morals, other things to keep them occupied and/or attention they seek, be it negative or positive.

When do you start your day by writing on your page, "Not looking forward to today. A difficult morning at work and feeling the lead drop into my shoes. Maybe I will stay home and ring in sick!" Instead it is, " Slept well - hoping your day goes well too, lovely sunshine today."

What if we were a bit more honest? You see, there are times when it appears I am the only one who has lost the car keys ( because I admit to it), burned the potatoes ( because I admit to doing that) and slept badly ( because I tell someone about my sleepless night). That my administration is a nightmare waiting to be solved, that I forgot to post the birthday cards on time, that my bank account is lower than I would like and I really can't afford to go out with my friends for dinner but DO because I don't want their pity or judgement.

I hardly hear about stuff like that. So I feel inadequate when the sun doesn't shine on my day. Where or what have I done wrong? Am I really the only one with a 'bad hair day?" Well no, don't worry, I am not depressed, I just wanted to use this as a shake up to see if we really are prepared to be honest, to not gloss over stuff and share our worries and concerns. Because at times life is tough. Sometimes that smiley facade just isn't thick enough to stop te hurt, find the solutions or help us through the night. That is one of those moments when we need a friend, when we are allowed to admit to not coping, not managing, not enjoying - some of what life throws at us.

No, I am not advocating filling social media with sad personal messages- but I would like to rattle the doorbell to say, " Call on your friends when the going gets tough. You don't have to gloss over the ripply bits. And if you gauge your friends good enough you will know who to call for whatever ails you. Admitting a struggle isn't weak- ignoring it is. In a time of political uncertainty, job losses galore and unstable financial times, lack of trust in those in positions of 'power and leadership' we need each other more than ever.

Be a friend, be trustworthy, be open, be human. But most importantly- CARE!