Monday, 11 November 2013

Changes- we are forever changing, evolving, adapting to our environment and needs.

Insights, understanding, wisdom comes with age ( so does hindsight ) and for some an increased tolerance level or just the opposite- less patience and/ or understanding.

I was musing on these issues the other day- I had plenty of time as my husband and I took the slow route ( and very much more inexpensive than the fast route)  back from a New Zealand holiday. Our time at the airport was spent walking, taking a sightseeing tour of the city, lazing in comfy chairs and using refreshments. I had time to mull over some things that for some reason just ' popped'  into my mind.

Funny, I am 60 now but don't feel any different to when I was 50- but is that true? Because there are differences. I found myself wrapping a scarf around my neck and shoulders at the airport and in the plane because I felt a 'draft'. I wore 'sensible'  travel clothes not conforming to fashion statements I would have done years earlier. I felt a pang of pity for a young mum with a distressed baby. Traveling isn't always fun as a mum.

For some reason I started thinking about my mum.

My youngest brother with his
two 'grown up' sisters and their children
She had her last child, the youngest of 5,  at 43 years of age- quite different to being a young mum. Her advantage was her experience. Her disadvantage was the changing times and in truth having an only child. The age gap was considerable and my youngest brother spent most of his time at home without his older siblings. On the up side, he enjoyed the outings and holiday stay overs with his older sisters who had families of their own. He enjoyed some of the financial freedom my parents had- us all being independent. So there were pros and cons in my parents having had  a later in life child.

Whilst grabbing for my scarf and pondering on what had changed for me I heard my mum's voice:
- " please close the door, it is drafty in here" - I was young and warm blooded still moving around freely and thought- drafty? that's fresh air isn't it?

Mum, you were right, at 60 that fresh breeze = draft.

I spent the past weeks observing my own children and their families at close range. I saw how they reacted and acted when situations arose, both pleasing and not so pleasant. Sibling rivalry a natural phenomena and caring moments between them. I saw and listened. I took a step back. I didn't interfere or offer suggestions. Yes, I didn't always agree on their approach or decisions- but did respect them. Who knows their child better than their own parent? My children are now adults and behave as adults do.

It gave me an opportunity to reflect on my own parenting skills, judgements and achievements. I am more tolerant now and have a wider view of things. I am proud in what I observed in my children- recognising some of myself in them. Also realising, that like my mum, times have changed and challenges though alike, the solutions are brought differently. My eyes still look at things the way they did when I was 30-40-50 but the mind processes the information with maturity, experience and insights developed over the years.

I love being a mum, an oma and a wife! All these come with blessings which reward me amply and fill me with love and energy. I an thankful for the privileges these rolls in life have given me and continue to give me.

Thanks mum- you are never far from my daily doings. Recognising your influence on me, helping shape me and allowing me the freedom of choice in becoming the parent and adult I have become.

Mum, I salute you!


  1. We are always changing, aren't we? Been thinking along those lines lately too. I think of my mother daily as well. Her influence is far reaching, that's for sure.

    Have a wonderful week,

    1. Yes Karen and it nevre ceases to amaze me that people maintain they NEVER change. I am glad I do evolve. That way I know my experiences have had there desired affect on me. Blessings to you!