I was musing on these issues the other day- I had plenty of time as my husband and I took the slow route ( and very much more inexpensive than the fast route) back from a New Zealand holiday. Our time at the airport was spent walking, taking a sightseeing tour of the city, lazing in comfy chairs and using refreshments. I had time to mull over some things that for some reason just ' popped' into my mind.
Funny, I am 60 now but don't feel any different to when I was 50- but is that true? Because there are differences. I found myself wrapping a scarf around my neck and shoulders at the airport and in the plane because I felt a 'draft'. I wore 'sensible' travel clothes not conforming to fashion statements I would have done years earlier. I felt a pang of pity for a young mum with a distressed baby. Traveling isn't always fun as a mum.
For some reason I started thinking about my mum.
|My youngest brother with his |
two 'grown up' sisters and their children
Whilst grabbing for my scarf and pondering on what had changed for me I heard my mum's voice:
- " please close the door, it is drafty in here" - I was young and warm blooded still moving around freely and thought- drafty? that's fresh air isn't it?
Mum, you were right, at 60 that fresh breeze = draft.
I spent the past weeks observing my own children and their families at close range. I saw how they reacted and acted when situations arose, both pleasing and not so pleasant. Sibling rivalry a natural phenomena and caring moments between them. I saw and listened. I took a step back. I didn't interfere or offer suggestions. Yes, I didn't always agree on their approach or decisions- but did respect them. Who knows their child better than their own parent? My children are now adults and behave as adults do.
It gave me an opportunity to reflect on my own parenting skills, judgements and achievements. I am more tolerant now and have a wider view of things. I am proud in what I observed in my children- recognising some of myself in them. Also realising, that like my mum, times have changed and challenges though alike, the solutions are brought differently. My eyes still look at things the way they did when I was 30-40-50 but the mind processes the information with maturity, experience and insights developed over the years.
I love being a mum, an oma and a wife! All these come with blessings which reward me amply and fill me with love and energy. I an thankful for the privileges these rolls in life have given me and continue to give me.
Thanks mum- you are never far from my daily doings. Recognising your influence on me, helping shape me and allowing me the freedom of choice in becoming the parent and adult I have become.
|Mum, I salute you!|