Just spilling my thoughts

It's been a trying time. It's been a revealing time.

Welcome back. These are my thoughts for this morning, the 1st of January 2021! Welcome back after almost a year in which I have spent struggling to grasp the essence of the mentality of people around me. I have decided to call 2020 the year of disappointment. Not in my private world at home, or even with a great number of my friends, but a general observation of the community as a whole.

I feel disillusioned and disappointed. I am a realist, a positive realist yet my faith in people has been sorely tried and damaged in the year just past. Since the virus invaded people's bodies it didn't just make those victims ill, the rest of the people became infected too. But not with a virus that can be vaccinated against by injecting some form of medication.

In that disappointment shelters a sadness, like discovering that what you held dear wasn't as special or worthy of your admiration, commitment or even worthy of the time you gave it.  I have had insights into people's thinking and acting so alien to how I saw them as a person.  I've been mesmerized by the screaming hordes, the verfent disbelievers, the almost anarchist movement who were/are more bent on creating division than unity. What really bugged me about that was, the arrogance of assumptions that this group held/hold was, that  they knew it all better. No-one was going to tell this group of people what they needed to do. NO! Disfunction and disarray was their modes operandi. Creating division, anxiety, and disruption. My humble opinion of course.

And as contradiction: What has held my spirits up and belief in the people around me was, that I have been awed by the dedication and selflessness of so many trying to help those desperate and devastated by the results of the virus on their lives. Not in it for themselves but utilizing their talents, energy and love for people, strangers, before their own comforts and needs. The silent majority, who are so often overlooked, unrecognized and undervalued. They are the mainstay of our society. U~sing their energy to help improve situations giving those they care for stability, hope and a chance at life. They, and they are great in numbers I am glad to report, give me HOPE. My humble opinion of course.

I am not proud of last year for many reasons. Yet is has laid bare something that needs addressing. How do we, as a human race, want to evolve? Last night my husband said, " I am glad I have the longest part of my life behind me. I can look back with pleasure to the type of world I lived in. I am glad I don't have the greatest part in front of me seeing how our society is crumbling and lacking unity and compassion". How sad a statement is that?

I'm done with negativity.

Faith Hope and Love

The greatest of these is love

Am I really the only person absolutely DONE with all the negativity around this virus which is not only causing physical illness but mass hysteria as well?

There isn’t a tv channel, news or current affairs programme that isn’t promoting, yes promoting DOOM AND GLOOM and the ‘end is neigh’ visions. It is helping making people sick.

Yes, I understand there is a huge ugly virus out there. I also know that people have died, as people do. I know we need to be vigilant and more secure with our cleanliness and personal hygiene. Should have always been. This a wake-up call to those who need a lesson in personal hygiene.

Common sense seems to have left the building. Did you, in the past, really visit sick in hospital or the elderly if you had a cold or are unwell? REALLY? Well silly you. Isn’t that a thoughtless act on your part? Virus or not. That is just NOT DONE! EVER!

OK, let’s get back to my heading.

Faith: call it what suits you best. I believe in my God and you probably have a belief in whom or whatever is your Mainstay in this world. This belief gives me a sense of wellbeing and positive energy. It gives me confidence that whatever unsettling thing is happening that there will be a solution. Call me naïve if you must. I receive a large amount of peace from this belief. Rather than the panic which seems to have so many in it’s vice like grip. Of-course I am being sensible, cautious and protective- to a point where it doesn’t overrule my common sense.

I have FAITH and HOPE in and LOVE for the scientists and researchers who are working round the clock to find a tool to fight this viral yuk invader of our system. Each day more information about treatment, prevention, precautions are made known. I firmly believe they will beat this virus and it’s deadly sting. As they will the next virus that may appear in the future.

I have FAITH and HOPE in the medical world to assist in healing, nursing, protecting and caring for our sick. What a LOVE they must have in their hearts for those who suffer. And this includes also the very professional, protective and knowledgeable people in government, whose task I do not envy, in making decisions to protect their country and its inhabitants. Every step they take has been well thought out, tested and weighed up against the information to hand AT THAT POINT IN TIME. I am HOPEFUL that their decisions will benefit us in this current situation.

I have FAITH, HOPE and LOVE in and for the people who adhere to the warnings, walk the required walk of sensibility and common sense. Those who support others in whatever way possible to also be a tool in helping to restore our world to some form of normality. Especially those who spread the good cheer, positiveness and calm we all need so much at the moment.

FAITH, HOPE and LOVE

Where there is life there is HOPE. And let’s not forget that. Hope for a future, hope for a return to health, hope to have learnt and be more knowledgeable in future moments of uncertainty.

Hope that people will retain their sense of caring for one and other. Hope for compassion and understanding.

Hope that those bringing information to the wider community realise they have power to bring people together. To bring that HOPE to the world by not only reporting on negative aspects but highlighting the victories, every step to finding a solution, a return to health buy those affected.

LOVE, the greatest of these is LOVE. Like the song says: “What the word needs now, is LOVE SWEET LOVE”. It will make us better people.

Love for each other, love to conquer, to unite, to bind, to assist, to bring joy. Love to share.

I want to read about those who are healed, who have survived and won the battle. Those who have helped in whatever way necessary. I want to celebrate LIFE, even when things get tough.

That little seed called F E A R!

Many many years ago I had this wee book called, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Can't remember the author's name. Maybe I ought to look it up. Feel free to do so if you are interested. Really worth it.

The word alone says it all. F E A R! What is your first reaction to it? How do you cope with F E A R?

Wisdom comes with age is the old saying. I am not sure about ALL wisdom, but I do know I actually 'see' things differently as my age gathers momentum.

When I was a child I was afraid of lightning. Not the thunder although they did go hand in hand- but LIGHTNING- that put the F E A R fair and square into me. An experience in my childhood was the reason for this strong and long held emotion- and truth of it all, I am still not comfortable when lightning strikes. I would hide - anywhere and for as long as it took. Even as an adult raising my children. While they laughed, I trembled.

When I was about 38 years old I needed a hysterectomy. I was all set to ring the hospital to have me taken off the list when the appointment to be admitted presented itself. I was positively scared stiff.
F E A R of the 'what if?' and 'what else will they find?' and the 'aftermath'. It all scared me to bits.

Life has a habit of producing moments of uncertainty, insecurity and unforeseen events that can cause the reaction of F E A R to overwhelm and sometimes paralyse us. But does that help in any way at all? Does it answer the most important questions that we have regarding the 'whatever we are scared about' issue? NO!

It demotivates, undermines and disables our ability to cope with the unexpected, the unwanted and the unknown. F E A R is actually the negative factor, not that 'thing' which we have to deal with.

Recently someone very dear to me underwent a series of operations to remove cancerous tissue and suspect lymph nodes - she had been diagnosed with malignant skin cancer. F E A R crept under my skin, it crawled over my scalp en got into my head. I felt paralysed and shaken. In all honesty, it took a couple of days for me to realise that I had given my control over to that F E A R again.

I spoke to a dear friend about this and she said, "watch out for that seed. If you let it, it will grow into a tree and take root. Don't let
F E A R be the ruler of your thoughts and deeds. You won't be able to think straight or offer the support needed. Your every move will be clouded by F E A R and that isn't a pretty sight." Now I already knew this but I needed someone to remind me - F E A R is the enemy not the unknown, unexpected or unwelcome challenge which life threw at me.

Since I let F E A R go and started thinking rationally again, I regained my rest, slept better and was able to be positive during a trying and uncertain period. The dangers have abated, the future looks a lot better than a few months ago and I have re-learned a lesson which I obviously needed to re-embrace and make mine. F E A R doesn't belong in my thinking or my handling. Assuming the worse isn't helpful nor is thinking that one is helpless in any given situation.

There is ALWAYS a way out, a solution. Be bold and weed out those seeds before they grow into those trees through which you can't see daylight when F E A R takes hold.

Trust or disillusionment, hope or despair

" Did you watch tv last night? That programme about how unsafe internet is. I think it was called " big brother is watching you - not sure, but that was the message. Quite scary really."

I was having lunch with a friend recently. We were at a lovely little cafe, busy but relaxed. Nice atmosphere, safe, trendy and welcoming. Somehow, the urgency in which our neighbours at the opposite table were conversing, didn't quite fit the scene. This is where I come to relax and enjoy some time out. And for some reason because of the contents of their conversation, tension had gathered around them and I could feel the anxiety that the young woman exuded. I wasn't going to let it spoil my lunch but did let my thoughts run riot.

My companion also caught the tail end of the conversation, looked at me and said, " oh yes DID you watch it too? It was quite revealing. Glad I am not caught up in all that stuff. No digital anything for me thank you." I mentioned to her that she used Whatsapp, Skype and FaceTime not to mention Google for email. I left her to think that through- and get the feeling she may go through life 'phoneless'! I detected a feeling of DISAPPOINTMENT settling on her. Life is full of uncertainties and insecurities is her final analyses. This reality wiped her good mood away and doom and gloom showed on her face. Our conversation lost its happy and bubbly content. No matter what I said- her mood had shifted to a PONDER! Hence my BLOG content.

Who do we TRUST - or more to the point Who CAN we trust?

Is BIG BROTHER interested in my Internet lifestyle then;
Are my emails interesting reading material?
Do my phone calls make enjoyable eavesdropping?
Are the sites I visit interesting? Who cares whether I like cooking?
Do I get more readers on my BLOG?
Do the number of connections I have on FB make me the envy of those who have less contacts?
Although my bank has a safety net and offers protection - do I need to worry who sees how much ( or rather how little) I have in my bank account?

And then on the ' real life' side of things. Not on internet but in the here and now. In our countries. The events of the past months have highlighted many twists and turns of people in leadership positions. Promises made - promises broken. Yesses turned into Noes and dreams into nightmares. Positives thoughts crushed into negative realities. Who can we TRUST if not those enTRUSTed with the leadership over our countries. In decision making positions of which we are all dependent. Taxes, safety, work and income, relationships with other nationalities ( formal and informal) trade agreements, global and closer to home. All ingredients for a secure and safe existence.

The thing is - deceit and unreliability are fast gaining momentum. Now is the time to turn the tide. The solution lies within our own grasp. All change must come from ones' self. If I want to create a trustworthy situation- then I must start with myself. The more TRUST I show and portray- the more people will regain that feeling. Every step is one on the road to recovery.

I took inward look and realised that there have been moments that I didn't fulfill my own promises to others. Not on a daily basis but it has happened. Not through ill will but circumstances- but none the less- I have appeared and become untrustworthy in some situations and I so regret that.

Recently a BLOG friend asked - what word would you choose to focus on in 2017 so that at the end of the year you might feel that you made a difference? I have chosen -

TRUSTWORTHINESS

It is my intention to be more aware of the pitfalls of broken promises. Of unfulfilled commitments.
I want people to regain their faith in me - that when I say YES or NO that I follow up on that promise. That I can once again look myself and others in the eye and say, " you can rely on me - you can TRUST me.

In doing so I hope that others too find the courage and energy to do the same.

We need TRUST, HOPE and the total COMMITMENT from ourselves and those around us - to make this world a better place to live in, enjoy and tend. For it is our responsibility - each and everyone of us, to live up to that which we ourselves hold dear: TRUST in EACH OTHER. We can always find fault with others and overlook our own failings...

Let us all work together to restore that which is ( almost) lost to us. Before it is too late.

Which word would you choose to honour the coming year?

With mixed emotions

With mixed emotions I commence my day. The world population struggling with so many issues I just feel a bit, not confused but well, ' out of sorts' one could say.

Leaders who have lost sight of why they are in the position they are in- a prerogative to serve their people - and not for self gratification. The trigger happy American community ( guns and America have always 'gone together' ) The racial and ethnic conflicts that rage in too many countries to even list them all. The inability for humans to tolerate and accept one and other in all their diversity and uniqueness - gives me the odd moments of despair. I fear for what other 'eruptions' of unrest that might rear it's ugly head - which adds to the uncertainty and safety of this planet and it's inhabitants. Including that of my my grandchildren - who represent the future.

Because you see, I did choose for a family. I did have the privilege of bringing up 3 children to adulthood. They in turn have chosen to do the same. Not thinking that the world we then lived in - even with some of the above but certainly in less acute state than we now experience - looks headed for heavier conflicts, possible war or worse it's own destruction. Because what I see are situations that have lost all control. Speeding down a steep incline and not
having the ability to curb itself.

Am I alone is this feeling of helplessness? I wonder. As a child I learned that charity (=love and acceptance) starts at home. Love and respect for parents and siblings and extended family. This caused a 'natural' spread to those maybe not family but certainly close in friendship. And so the ripple spread.

WHAT HAPPENED to disturb that ripple effect??? is a question I ask myself almost daily.

What ever happened to the saying; " Love makes the world go round?" I still believe that this is TRUE.

The 3 main ingredients/rules in life for humanity to hold dear

FAITH

HOPE 

                                  LOVE 

and the greatest of these is LOVE

Lying, cheating, fighting, hatred and envy - kills all sense of joy, love and promise of the good things that this life here on earth holds in store for us.

Sow that seed of love - in your children. Let them know that difference isn't something to ward of but to embrace, learn from and most certainly accept. As each one of us is unique. Every molecule, every hair on our heads, freckle on our face, colour of our eyes and skin - it makes this world a treasure trove. We NEED diversity.

Spreading love- begins at home - as it always did. And I know the world has always had it's moments of despair and history of losing it's way- but maybe it is time we stand still and acknowledge that it is time to call a halt to al the hatred and persecution in today's world.

PLANT THAT SEED: Containing the atoms of love, joy, satisfaction, contentment, caring, sharing, acceptance and all those elements that will help drag away this dark mire which pivots above our heads waiting to emerge us into a world without laughter, peace and joy.

Now I could start by saying: Turn to God! But some of you aren't 'into' religion or God- and I have heard many say ' why doesn't God stop all this then if GOD is so good?" Well people, God isn't going to fix something WE created. We need to take responsibility for the mess we have gotten ourselves into. Help is there for those who ask for it. I know I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't accepted God's assistance for my sorrows in the past. But that's my belief - and you are welcome to join me - but it must be something you seek of your own free will.

Let's all start somewhere- by extending a hand in friendship. By visiting someone lonely, by accepting our new neighbours and extend a warm welcome, by showing your children how to be a good neighbour, do an unselfish act by helping those in need, by picking up the litter in your street- not because YOU put it there but because it ought not to BE there. Be humble - not subservient - but HUMBLE. It is easy to help someone you like or know- be daring and reach out to someone who NEEDS your help - someone you would normally avoid or cross the road for to avoid them.

I know- it starts at home LOVE! Let's all START at HOME and let the message spread out the door and into the street.

Advent: Week IV - It is getting closer

Well, here we are, the 4th Sunday in Advent.

And where am I in the preparations? At this point in time my home and it's contents are in disarray. In a matter of days we will be leaving this home for another one - leaving neighbours who will then be friends to visit. Starting somewhere new - looking for permanence knowing that nothing in life is.

We aim to make this our ' last move' with the intention of spending the years we have left, at this address, surrounded by those who will become our new neighbours, of whom some will become friends.

During the past three weeks whilst sanding, painting, scraping, wallpapering and shopping I have been very conscious of this Advent Season. Not only because I chose to focus AND write about the subject from my point of view - but watching, hearing and experiencing people's activities around me. Their preparations, hectic lives and diaries. Rushing here and there like busy ants - gathering, organising, planning their up and coming festivities.

What was a re-occurring subject however was: the 'lost' contact with someone they loved, cared for and who had been a part of their lives. Be it a brother, sister, parent, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, neighbour or friend. Someone they had fallen out with for whatever reason. This person missing from the card list, table and home.

I too have lost the friendship and love of someone close. To this day - it continues to niggle, stab, unsettle and cause sadness and unrest in my body. It is an indescribable missing you feeling.

How to bridge the gap? There have been attempts - to no avail. DO I try again?

I bring you PEACE - let PEACE be with you - are Jesus' words to us ALL. 

In homes, families, at work, school, on the playground, in clubs and neighbourhoods, in villages and cities, in countries - PEACE be with US ALL.

How to bring about this peace I miss? I will reach out with a Christmas Peace message of:

HOPE

LOVE

JOY

PEACE

and pray it will be received in the spirit of the season.

Is their someone you miss, or want back in your life? Now might just be that moment..... let these next few days give you the encouragement to reach out - not looking at who is responsible for the break - but looking to bridge that gap and healing the relationship.

Imagine that there is PEACE in the hearts of ALL - Oh just IMAGINE.

Wishing all my readers every blessing this Yuletide season of 

 HOPE, LOVE, JOY and PEACE.

Peace

I received the most WONDERFUL message today from darling Ros. 

She wanted me to know how much better she is feeling and learning to cope. 

Prayers are strong and are being answered. Amen... go for it Ros!! 

With love and respect..I love you xxxxx Mum

I think this blog is as big as it will get for today....! I can't think anything more beautiful to write than this!