|Good morning Garfield|
It's taken a while and finally I made it. I am fully awake and aware of all that surrounds me. I don't feel that I have been having a winter nap - winter is one of my favourite seasons. It was just that my head was so filled up with so many things it made me weary. full of sad things, daily things, full of yesterdays and tomorrows that are to come. So I had to clean up my ' attic'. I made a list ( metaphorically speaking) and organised my thoughts. Slowly but surely I began to see the light and be enlightend.
I cannot imagine that there are many people around who don't have any 'baggage'. Doesn't always have to be heavy issues - the experiences don't always have to be earth shattering that one doesn't have some form of scarring or relics. I am pretty sure that even the apostles must have had baggage with them when they were invited to follow Jesus. They were handpicked by Jesus and he knew what was in their past and in their hearts. He knew what they were capable of.
Just as a by the way - even Judas was one of the chosen ones. I am not clear on my thoughts on that subject yet. Jesus knew what Judas was capable of. Yet He still chose him to be a follower. What did He expect or hope for? That Judas WOULDN'T betray Him? Or did He choose Judas because he knew he WOULD? Was it a test? Just like we have choices in life - shall I /shan't I? Anyway, back to my thoughts on waking.....
I too feel I have been chosen as an apostle. To become a follower of Jesus and accompany Him on life's journey. I do however forget that from time to time. Get the feeling I am 'alone' and don't belong anywhere in particular. Then I am at a loss as to what to do when it comes to decision making- that the daily events somehow get the better of me. My energy level at zero and am at a loss how to get through the day or task at hand. I feel adrift. Then praying seems so ' neutral' because I pray ' anyway'. I drift along seemingly without a plan or destination in mind.
The list in my mind has been pretty well sorted. With regained energy now that my battery has been recharged I am confident to forge on. Meet the challenges before me. One of the most valuable things I take from this episode is that - I need to look after that battery. Not to let it get so low. Jump starting too often isn't a good thing. My life holds many opportunities, chances and challenges and I aim to make the most of them. I aim to walk my walk with enthusiasm and commitment.
And most importantly, I don't need to walk alone. That is a comforting thought. I can chat away or walk in silence knowing Jesus walks with me. He knows what I am capable of.
|Keen as mustard - really I am! ;-)|