Ode to my past - in loving memory!

Dear Carol

How lovely it was to have met you and spent those glorious, carefree days with you on board the f/s Flavia all those years ago. I smile at the memory.

We were young, energetic and as teenagers will be, in for a laugh.

Do you remember Semonelli, Francesco ( always remembered he said that the surname went first) the barman in the Lido lounge. I had my first 'real' adult drink, a Grasshopper. Creme de Menthe I believe.

How we enjoyed swimming and the 'grandeur' of being on board such a luxury liner. Well to us it was. Although we normally used the stairs, occasionally we would choose the lift. But, we were warned, don't get caught in the lift with some of those young, male, handsome Spanish crew members. That was enough to get us giggling.

Although we only had a few days together, we had that proverbial 'klik' that people do when the personalities match. On leaving the boat you vowed to write. And you did. When I arrived in Leeuwarden, Nederland a number of weeks later, two letters and a postcard lay waiting for me.

We kept it up, that correspondence. Girlie stuff, young womanhood. When you heard I was to return to New Zealand you mentioned the hope of seeing each other again. And we did. You had joined the crew of another cruise ship and luck would have it the boat birthed in Auckland. And we were there, at the quay to welcome you. My wee young family and I.

The kids thought you were the bees knees. An aunt from Australia. I thought that too- so lovely to see you again.

The correspondence was spasmodic but we kept each other up to date. I vaguely recall you mentioning moving out of Wangaratta. My life changed a lot too.... and then we stopped. You and I were caught up in LIFE and all that it entails.

My quest is over dear Carol, I have found you. Not how I wished but non the less, my questions have answers.

Carol, dearest friend, it was, as the saying goes " lovely to have met and known you." I will forever cherish the memories.

Rest in Peace my friend, rest in peace.

Anita

Your time here was shorter than many
I am proud to have shared some grains of it with you!

Looking for a piece of my past

Well, I have never done this before.

My memory is still pretty well in tact. Yes, I forget where I leave my keys every now and then. Occasionally I might have a wee gap when it comes to a conversation, details about a trip or what was on the shopping list I wrote but left on the table. Apart from that, I think the memory is pretty efficient.

What might help, is that I have a huge collection of photos. Which, this day and age, is even easier than before. With a simple tap on the screen of my phone, I manage to perpetuate the moment. Helps when wanting to re-live that moment of remember who I was with at the time or why 😛.

f/s Flavia, Carol with niece Leanne
Carol, Carol on park bench by lake,
Carol and I in Pakuranga,
Carol and Toni and Reece in Pakuranga

Now the reason for my blog today. I would so LOVE to re-kindle a friendship from yesteryear. My last contact with this person was in the 1980's. The last photo I have of her - is from 1985.

On the 30th December 1966 my parents, two brothers, one sister and I boarded the F/S Flavia, an Italian owned liner, in Auckland, New Zealand. We were due to sail for Europe with first being part of a cruise which was in progress at time of boarding.

Here, onboard, I met Carol. She and her parents and 2 brothers, one older one younger, were part of the cruise passengers on board. Carol and I were pretty similar age and the click was immediate. We got on. From day 1 I had a friend. Not for long though, as in Melbourne, Carol and her family left the boat being the end of their cruise. It was a short but firm friendship- and we stated corresponding immediately.

I kept a diary at the time- but unfortunately, that has since been lost. For quite some years we wrote. My life took another big twist and I ended up back in New Zealand. We kept corresponding.

In the late '70s Carol paid a visit to me and my young family. We lived in Pakuranga, Auckland, New Zealand at the time. I had two children, Toni and Reece. Carol had secured a job on a luxury liner of which I cannot recall the name ( hahah) and we picked het up from the wharf so she could spend some time with us relaxing and renewing our friendship in a special way.

A few more letters and photos followed- then SILENCE! For many reasons not only my life but hers too was constantly changing.

While tidying my shelves, ring binders and a photo box with a collection of all sorts, I came across the photos of my long lost friend Carol. I have no idea if Carol wants to be reminded of this period. I do not even know if Carol is alive and well somewhere enjoying a happy and loving life. It is my hope- but more than that I cannot be sure of.

Details: Carol Robins, 7 Greta Road Wangaratta, Victoria, Australia ( I can dream that address)
Born somewhere around '52-54. Worked as a administrator I thought first, then on board the liner for a number of cruises. Carol had an accident in the '80s which left het with diabetes due to the shock. Somewhere in the back of my mind I believe she shifted out of Wangaratta but that is really vague.

Her older brother's name was Kevin.

So now, my request. Well it is pretty obvious. Would you please share this message around?  If you think you may have some information regarding Carol, her family, her whereabouts.... ! Just add a message to this blog or email me at 3deschoffie@gmail.com

Happy searching, hunting, spreading, reading!

PS: Here a link to the followup of my quest to find Carol
http://mythoughtsinadayinthelifeof.blogspot.nl/2017/03/ode-to-my-past-in-loving-memory.html

North meets South: The sights

Nederland may be a small country - but heck we pack a lot in small places.


I had to make some sort of plan so that we didn't waste any of our precious time - Friday to Friday. And to think- those Fridays were the arrival and departure days. So a level head, logical thinking and good planning was essential for Annette, my husband and I to get the most out of our time together- including 'down time' because there is nothing more frustrating that to just be on the go all the time and not have time to let 'stuff' land.

The first couple of days were close to home- and truly special. The weather behaved and we had a GREAT week in that respect. Kinderdijk, Hollands Biesbosch, Dordrecht and our balcony. Monday morning we left for Belt Schutsloot- in the middle of Nederland - in a National Park and close to Giethoorn, also known as the Dutch Venice.

We had booked a cabin and spent time with friends who were stationed at the camping ground there. Our trip took us partly along a mayor highway - a coffee stop at the Lepelaar on the A6. Then on through the polder - Flevoland. In preparation hubby had explained to Annette about the development of this the 12the province created so as to provide more land in this small country. We made a slight detour to a place called SHOKLAND - which illustrated the changes made here due to 'man's' intervention.

When we arrived at the camping ground- the weather was so beautiful we were 'forced' to take advantage of a boating moment. Bottle of wine, some beer, snacks and yes also water on board. A bit of slip slap slop ( = sunblock for the uninitiated) and we were on our watery way!

As if we had had anything to do with the weather, water, space and time - all went so smoothly and well planned that it was shaping up to be a memorable day.

A BBQ dinner and a few drinkies to close the day - we toddled off to bed as happy little sand boys and girls. The next day - was Giethoorn day. A slow start- we breakfasted at a leisurely pace, coffeed and then packed up the cabin. Our hosts accompanied us - or rather we accompanied them - to Giethoorn.

We parted company and drove as tourists back home- calling in to Elburg and Buren ( where we had dinner- thank you Annette) and arrived home with a load of memories for safe keeping.

Time for a break- we had seen so much and didn't want to over do the 'tourist' trips. Home and there we stayed with the odd moment we went into town, on the bus and lots of time on the balcony- just chinwagging at breakfast and beyond.

Before we knew it- time was up. A full on week, wonderful moments and lots and lots and lots of laughs. My early morning breakfasts on the balcony- alone- won't be the same again. But I relish in the memories and am grateful for what was an unforgettable time when SOUTH came NORTH and we met on MY home turf. 

Thank you Annette for this life time memory. Travel safe and till we meet again!

Family day today ( and every day)

When I woke this morning and followed my ritual of thanks and a cuppa- I had a thought. A word popped into my mind- family!

 "Write something about your meaning or connection with family" it said.

Now, like most mothers, my children are constantly present in my mind- sometimes right up there, sometimes in the back ground but DEFINITELY present. And when I say children I mean that in the broadest sense of the word - children, their partners ( whom I elect to love as my children) and my grandchildren - both those I can hug ( figuratively speaking as they live abroad) and the one in my heart.

I think the focus on family resulted after a visit to my husband's aunt on her 89th birthday yesterday. She has been a widow for many years- has no children of her own so 'borrows' with love, her nieces and nephews. She had a room full of visitors in all age ranges. It was a wonderfully warm visit and I felt privileged to have been a small part of it. So, focus on family.

Family for me has many meanings- but firstly all due must go to those nearest and dearest- my parents, my siblings and my heritage. It has partly shaped me. The experiences of having my own family, involvement with extended family and the friends gathered around me have helped with moulding the rest of ME.

My parents, whom I also hold dear in my heart, were pioneers, courageous and steadfast. They shared 53 +1/2 years of marriage, brought forth 5 children, survived various of life's dramas and made decisions they thought were the best they could make at the given time and circumstance. I can only say - THANK YOU.

Although almost no contact with siblings, my feelings for them and my connection with them is eternal. Bound by our parents and their forefathers our lives are entwined forever. Their personalities have also had an impact on me.

The dutch heritage, the identity, religion and history have played a huge role in who I am and how I view the world.

All my children live Down Under, so they will not be there on birthdays unless I travel to them. Maybe when the grandchildren grow older they may travel and plan to 'pop in' to visit sometime. Now that would be great. The thought and possibility alone is heartwarming.

Looking at extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins all share some common part of my identity. Their involvement in my life need not have been great, yet every sense of belonging stems from 'recognisable traits' which we all have inherited in some form or another. The chefs, gardeners, artists, teachers, photographers and those having entered religious life - can relate to the drive towards these professions held by many. Is it a gene thing? Who shall say.

Friendships, worth their weight in gold -
( read my earlier blog on the subject of friends). True and pure and of long standing. How I treasure those memories and their influences on me. What a wealth of diversity and warmth. I consider them too in my feeling of family. Some even closer than those born into my tree. As far as I am concerned they deserve a spot on my branch. I share their joys, and mourn in their sadness and they mine.

Yesterday I attended the birthday celebration of a family member who turned 89, today I get to share along with many others, the 60th birthday of a dear friend. 

How awesomely blessed is that?

Treasure the family which you have, polish it and keep it shiny and bright. It makes life beautiful!

Girlie night- friends night

It hardly seems possible that we have been home for a week. Yes, a whole week. We fitted back into life's pattern without so much as a hitch picking up where we left off on the 4th of October.

We have made visits to friends and family, we have had a few diners sharing a meal, we have received and made welcome home phone calls and distributed the odd gifts.

Before I left I set a date with a group of women whom I am proud to call friends. We don't spend every weekend together but we are close. It is time for a girlie night. Time to share some experiences, catch up on events and just be girls.

I have chosen a movie, selected some appropriate foodies and just have to make a selection of our photo collection of our trip. My phone has pinged a few times already with messages of ' can't wait- looking forward to... etc! So nice to know I am not the only one who is looking forward to seeing everyone again.

It made me stop and think- how rich I am. Not in monetary terms believe me, but in something money can't buy. Friendship and fellowship. These five women were once the friends of my husbands late wife. They have embraced me and allowed me a place in their midst unconditionally. I have probably written about this before- it still fills me with awe.

I know I am not alone, I can find support and a shoulder when I need it - as they can with me. I know they aren't a substitute for my children and my other friends  down under but they are special and they are right here.

There is a saying- you can pick your friends but not your family. I love my family including my sister and brothers and in their own way they will have feelings for me- good or bad ;-) but I have to say-
I feel like I have gained more family since knowing these women.

I am truly blessed. I know that the gift of friendship is a wonderful thing. The bible too is full of stories about friends and friendships. Jonathan and David or Ruth and Naomi to mention a couple. Friendships are there to help celebrate life!

Being friends doesn't mean you have to agree with everything or that you can't or won't be hurt or disappointed at some stage but it does mean there are those who care just that little bit more for you than the casual people in your life.

Friends are precious, so take good care of them.

Friendship

Almost 12 years ago I returned home to the Netherlands. Not that NZ wasn't a home for me all the years I was privileged to live there, but it did feel different. That difference was quite plain once I resettled myself and joined the daily humdrum and routines of daily life. Two sorts of relationships with two different countries. Yet the same. A strange experience I can tell you. Still baffles me when I think about it.

Last Saturday was one of those moments that emotion was hugely present whilst I attended a book presentation in Leeuwarden, my dad's place of birth and where I spent my adolencent years and young adulthood.

With locals, on holiday from NZ frisians and others we sang the NZ anthem in both Maori and dutch. Tears welled up, goodebumps on my arms my emotions bubbled up to the surface. I felt a strong bond with these people it felt like family.

Last night I watched the soccer match between the Netherlands and Germany. The national anthem was played for both teams. I sang the National anthem whilst sitting on the couch.... Goosebumps again. A strong feeling of belonging like which I experienced the Saturday before.



You could say that I am privileged to have two homelands. And in some ways it is. It is also a heavy burden. My children have a different home than I do. They are welcome here...but NZ is their home. Reece has in some ways, my experience. His home is NZ but also due to the nature of his realtionship, birthplace of Ros, Kirk and Max is Australia his home now... And here will also be home for him should he ever want and be able to visit.

With the birth of Indi, second daughter of Steve and Kylie this distance, this fenomena of " home" is once again food for lots of thought. I know I have a strong sense of belonging here... But that brings with it a strong sense of yearning. Not of regret, but a feeling of whishfulness. Of separtedness, of sadness and the knowledge that " hopping accross that great ditch" not always realisable is...certainly not in the situation at present.

In my heart and in my thoughts I am close to my children and grandchildren. They are part of my day. Although the contact is regular... And I am " kept in the loop" so to speak, I cannot ever get too much requests for skype, for messages, for txts on my phone. They keep me connected and close. They are my life line. Without the contact I would certainly feel allienated. Cut off from what feeds me- the love I have for my children.

Sometimes when I start writing I have no idea what it will be about, sometimes I have a plan. Tonight I let my fingers do the walking- no plan!