Hi mum, happy birthday

'Hi mum, happy birthday, hope you like your present.' That was the message on Facebook chat one of my sons had left. Not funny son, I thought, my birthday isn't till May.

Ping went my phone ' Hope you like the present, have a great day. Love....' What on earth was going on? A second birthday wish and it wasn't even my birthday.

The mystery and curiosity increased when daughter also messaged me with " and, what do you think of your present?"

It appeared that between the three of them ( 2 in NZ and one in Australia) they had agreed to gift me with a ticket to New Zealand for my 60th birthday.

More later...WOW!! What a wonderful generous children, what a love, what a gift.

My son would be joining us in NZ too with his family. Together again for the first time in 11 years.

I walked on air all day!!

Just a little more patience

Almost, but not quite.

Spring hasn't yet sprung but it is on it's way.

Slowly but surely small green sprigs are appearing. Tiny bulb heads are showing themselves. The snowdrops are gently nodding their heads in the light breeze. Slowly but surely the cold ground is yielding to the tiny rays of sun which occasionally kisses the earth. An earth which has been covered with snow, frost, icy rain drops and cold winds these past few months.


I didn't intend to work in the garden today. But unexpectedly the opportunity presented itself. I started clearing away the  remnants from autumn. I gently weeded round the new sprouts of spring and enjoyed seeing the change my garden was experiencing. I don't have a huge garden, but still, there was plenty of it. I realised to clear the task in one hit was just a too big an ask. Yet I felt compelled to complete it. Pushing myself I went on - till Mother Nature stepped in and said ' enough already, time to stop'. I was so grateful. I cleaned my garden tools, stripped myself of my gardening gear and enjoyed a much deserved coffee.

I noticed the past few months that I am not being able to keep myself going long enough to finalise a task. This is new for me. Sure we all have that at times... an occasional low battery - but this has been happening a bit too often. I ask myself why am I experiencing ' that feeling' on a regular basis of late?


And not only the physical tasks like ironing, gardening, in the kitchen - but I cannot concentrate on my reading, writing, meditating and even working on my creative diaries.

When I was working in the garden today and saw the tiny bulbs popping up through the hard soil I kind of wondered whether that's how the bulbs felt. They wanted to complete their task but couldn't quite go the distance. That they needed to just be a little more patient, that all would be well. The temperatures aren't warm enough yet to help these beauties to
' shine'. That they would succeed in their task to bloom, to show off their grandeur- but not just yet! That the sun's rays would soon energize them enough to complete their transformation. Just be a little more patient.

As for me, well I too need to be a bit more patient. I am a four seasons person. I do LOVE winter. I too will recharge my batteries when I receive some more energy when the sun's rays gather their strength. I am keen, keen to see the colours explode, to enjoy the rebirth of the earth in all it's splendour. Newness! I am looking forward to the transformation, just as much as I enjoyed the stillness of the snow.

Sunday: A day of rest

It is pretty chilly outside today. A good time to be sitting somewhere warm and comfortable with a warm chocolate at hand.

Teeny tiny snow flakes are fluttering past my window. There is a breeze, temperature just on zero and last night's light snowfall has frozen to a crunchy carpet. What a difference to yesterday.

Sunday, a day to reflect, to rest, to enjoy family and friends. To be in touch with God and His creation. Everyone has their own way of " doing Sunday'. Everyone has their own idea how one ' should'  experience a Sunday. Many have various ways of celebrating their Sundays.

We started our day with a Sunday breakfast. A lingering at the table, soft boiled egg sort of event. Taking time to wake, to spend time together and quietly kick start the day. Music in the background- of a very Sunday nature. Classical, church, organ or guitar sort of music.

Time for reading. A book, THE book, literature of choice. In the quite of the moment. The sun was out, the room was filled with warmth and the invitation to go outside hung in the air.

So we accepted the invitation and went! Snowfall had coloured our world white- with some parts of the country whiter than white. We drove towards the white- Utrecht! We ended up in a Park where a monument to the French presence in the Netherlands had been built, the Pyramide van Austerlitz. Now I have to admit to missing this part of the history lesson- so learnt a thing yesterday! The French were here.... 1795 - 1813. Anyway, this has become a tourist attraction and popular walking address for many, as we discovered yesterday.


The snowfall in Woudenberg was heavier than at home. We had a lovely walk, enjoyed a bowl of our national SNERT ( pea soup) and later on a warm cuppa.

We decided not to take the highway home. Drove through the lovely countryside slowly leaving the snow behind us. Once home we turned the central heating back on and settled down with some cheese, paté and a glass of port.

What a lovely way to spend this much needed day of rest, this day we used to enjoy that which He created for us to enjoy, nurture and respect.

I enjoy Mondays. Gives me time to reflect on a perfect Sunday!

Thank you God for scheduling a day of rest!

Disbelief, anguish and the WHY question #2

Yesterday I wrote about a young persons body being found. Dead! And although there was no evidence to support my thoughts- I presumed he had been murdered. Now the papers are full of a story not confirmed or denied by police, that Anass committed suicide. That, due to being bullied, this young 13 year old saw no other solution to his predicament.

HOW SAD, how dreadfully sad. This young boy called Anass, a colourful member of our society was bullied because of how he dressed, that he preferred dance to football, that he didn't conform to the norm and saw that to escape this horror he had to end his life.

This is the 3rd incident in a VERY short space of time. After the first two deaths I felt ill to the stomach. I still do. But I couldn't write about it- not then. It was so raw. But now I feel compelled to. To let readers know, that while I do not support the theory that suicide solves life's issues, that I can understand someone's despair.

And why do I understand. Been there- experienced that! I was, like many of the children today who are bullied, quiet about the situation. Didn't seek adult support. My self esteem was at ground leven or even lower. I didn't want to be laughed at by my peers, telling me " not to be silly". I formed friendships with older youth and my circle of friends wasn't exceptionally large. 

That doesn't mean bullying is only ' for kids'. My experience tells me otherwise. And maybe one has to have a certain sensitivity that makes those comments, sneers and judgement calls have such an impact. 

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about Anass and that he died ' by his own hand' as it is so formally worded. It is about the grief, disbelief, the knowledge that he isn't and won't be the last one to walk this particular walk.

Anass, although I feel your life enden prematurely, that I would rather you had enjoyed all the good things life has to offer, that you still were able to take your place at your family's table - I am SURE that the angles will have embraced you and your pain is no more.

R I P Anass - you will be missed by many!

Disbelief- anguish and the WHY question

I haven't been writing on my BLOG of late. Not because I cannot think of a subject- I have plenty of varied material to write about. It is mainly because my thoughts keep drifting off to pa's death. Of missing him, and many say " that's a natural emotion- part of the grieving process".

I'm fully aware of life's cycle, of age and the natural process of life. It was as it should be. And that isn't always the case.

Last night an Amber Alert was sent out for a 13 year old boy who disappeared while delivering pamphlets. The alert was retracted this morning - not because he had been found safe and well, NO what was presumed to be his body was found. This morning his mother was informed that a body had been found and she should prepare herself for the fact that her son may be DEAD!

DREADFUL!!

I am sure the family are guided and supported- in fact I trust completely that this is so. It just shouldn't be necessary. This should never have happened.

There is a new angel in Heaven - so what! I am glad there is a Heaven for him to be in - where there is no violence or pain - but this doesn't rhyme with life's cycle.

A young boy, who still had so much of life's lessons in store, falling in love, graduating, getting his driver's licence, buying a house, having a family, enjoying summer vacations - to mention a few! Things many take for granted- he was robbed of all that the moment his life ended so prematurely. Not to mention all those who love him wil have to miss him in their lives too!

There has been no communication as to how he died. Maybe he had an accident?? Maybe someone is responsible? Funnily enough I tend for the latter. That's because the world we live in is becoming more and more violent every day. Life no longer appears to be deemed as valuable.

I will offer prayers for all those involved. I cannot change the situation, I can but offer my deepest sympathies and prayerful support! It is what something which I can do.