Saturday, 9 February 2013

Disbelief, anguish and the WHY question #2

Yesterday I wrote about a young persons body being found. Dead! And although there was no evidence to support my thoughts- I presumed he had been murdered. Now the papers are full of a story not confirmed or denied by police, that Anass committed suicide. That, due to being bullied, this young 13 year old saw no other solution to his predicament.

HOW SAD, how dreadfully sad. This young boy called Anass, a colourful member of our society was bullied because of how he dressed, that he preferred dance to football, that he didn't conform to the norm and saw that to escape this horror he had to end his life.

This is the 3rd incident in a VERY short space of time. After the first two deaths I felt ill to the stomach. I still do. But I couldn't write about it- not then. It was so raw. But now I feel compelled to. To let readers know, that while I do not support the theory that suicide solves life's issues, that I can understand someone's despair.

And why do I understand. Been there- experienced that! I was, like many of the children today who are bullied, quiet about the situation. Didn't seek adult support. My self esteem was at ground leven or even lower. I didn't want to be laughed at by my peers, telling me " not to be silly". I formed friendships with older youth and my circle of friends wasn't exceptionally large. 

That doesn't mean bullying is only ' for kids'. My experience tells me otherwise. And maybe one has to have a certain sensitivity that makes those comments, sneers and judgement calls have such an impact. 

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about Anass and that he died ' by his own hand' as it is so formally worded. It is about the grief, disbelief, the knowledge that he isn't and won't be the last one to walk this particular walk.

Anass, although I feel your life enden prematurely, that I would rather you had enjoyed all the good things life has to offer, that you still were able to take your place at your family's table - I am SURE that the angles will have embraced you and your pain is no more.

R I P Anass - you will be missed by many!

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