The past 16 hours were, generally, a huge onslaught on my normally healthy body. Physically I was drained and mentally I slowly lost the plot. I felt as if I was trapped in a strangers body, not recognising any part of me at all. Now all this sounds mellow dramatic, I know. I hear you think- come on girl, there are worse things than this. People are really suffering out there with horrible diseases and illnesses that don't come anywhere near what you are experiencing. And I couldn't agree more! Even with that reasoning flowing through my head I felt struck down and lost in a situation I was slowly losing grip on.
Due to my unrest and not being able to get comfortable in bed, I decided to not disturb hubby any longer and crept out of bed like a thief in the night. I was thirsty and needed to walk to stretch my cramped legs. Cautiously I wriggled my toes into my scuffs, my hands managed to grab hold of my canary yellow bathrobe. Due to the chill factor as the central heating wouldn't be on upstairs, I even managed to pluk a pair of warm knee length socks to keep me warm. This doesn't conjure up a pretty picture I realise and believe me I was a sight to behold, so let's leave it at that- I would be kept warm and that's all that mattered.
Once installed on the couch ( AGAIN) with my rug I started to relax. I had drank two large glasses of water- being soaked up like on a dry sponge. Man, I was thirsty. As it was dark all around me I was able to ward off all thoughts and distractions and started concentrating on my prayer. During this quiet time I told myself not to overreact, to be grateful for small mercies. I must have the flu, no big deal and in a few days all would be well. Stop feeing sorry for myself, was my message to ME. I think many of us have been in this place at some point or another. That a situation which arrises out of nothing takes on unreal proportions. Totally out of context. Buck up girl.
In all sincerity I spent time with God. I had every confidence in that HE was listening, that He would hear my plea, take my request for the return to health seriously and care for me. That's what I thought in that moment of CALM. Rethinking that moment I compared it to parenthood. No-one wants their child to be ill. When they are, as a parent you do everything for that child to ensure a return to wellness. As parent you want your child to be healthy, happy and full of energy and love. So, being a child of the Father, I thought that too. HE, as my Heavenly parent, would 'make me well'. Right?
I fell into a deep sleep during that prayer session, totally exhausted. I felt a sense of comfort and peace overwhelm me and I let go. There was work to be done- chores to do. Tasks to perform, projects to complete. I had a PLAN- My plan. I was to tackle my 'to-do list'. My gut feeling, which had been gnawing at me for some time now didn't abate. I couldn't explain it or place it- but I tried to convince myself- ALL WILL BE WELL.
My, how some weeks can just crawl on by....!