Advent: Week IV - It is getting closer

Well, here we are, the 4th Sunday in Advent.

And where am I in the preparations? At this point in time my home and it's contents are in disarray. In a matter of days we will be leaving this home for another one - leaving neighbours who will then be friends to visit. Starting somewhere new - looking for permanence knowing that nothing in life is.

We aim to make this our ' last move' with the intention of spending the years we have left, at this address, surrounded by those who will become our new neighbours, of whom some will become friends.

During the past three weeks whilst sanding, painting, scraping, wallpapering and shopping I have been very conscious of this Advent Season. Not only because I chose to focus AND write about the subject from my point of view - but watching, hearing and experiencing people's activities around me. Their preparations, hectic lives and diaries. Rushing here and there like busy ants - gathering, organising, planning their up and coming festivities.

What was a re-occurring subject however was: the 'lost' contact with someone they loved, cared for and who had been a part of their lives. Be it a brother, sister, parent, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, neighbour or friend. Someone they had fallen out with for whatever reason. This person missing from the card list, table and home.

I too have lost the friendship and love of someone close. To this day - it continues to niggle, stab, unsettle and cause sadness and unrest in my body. It is an indescribable missing you feeling.

How to bridge the gap? There have been attempts - to no avail. DO I try again?

I bring you PEACE - let PEACE be with you - are Jesus' words to us ALL. 

In homes, families, at work, school, on the playground, in clubs and neighbourhoods, in villages and cities, in countries - PEACE be with US ALL.

How to bring about this peace I miss? I will reach out with a Christmas Peace message of:

HOPE

LOVE

JOY

PEACE

and pray it will be received in the spirit of the season.

Is their someone you miss, or want back in your life? Now might just be that moment..... let these next few days give you the encouragement to reach out - not looking at who is responsible for the break - but looking to bridge that gap and healing the relationship.

Imagine that there is PEACE in the hearts of ALL - Oh just IMAGINE.

Wishing all my readers every blessing this Yuletide season of 

 HOPE, LOVE, JOY and PEACE.

All revealed.....

Yesterday was a bit of a down sort of day - Discouraging as I recall. And for some reason I couldn't put my finger on the reason.... it came out of the blue.

After every shower- the clouds disperse and the sun gets it's chance to shine. And, as the law of nature will have it - this morning the sun came out and yes, it took a while but I started to appreciate it again.

The thing is, just like a young child who is a bit cranky and whiney for a couple of days - for no apparent reason you can fathom - Then you discover the red splotches and you realise oh he / she is coming down with the measles/chickenpox to name a couple of childhood illnesses.

So it was with me. For some reason - my day yesterday turned to lumpy custard without any rhyme, warning or reason which I could fathom. Until........

I knew what the date was - been gunning for it since the month of June started. The dreaded 11th. But somehow - the spots didn't show so the knowledge eluded me. Till, I made contact with my son, daughter in law and their two sons in Australia.

Today, 4 years ago Mitchell was killed in a horrific road accident. Just 17 years old!!! 

A son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend never again to be held, cared for, nurtured.

Gone from our midst - oh ever so abruptly.

Gone, but not forgotten.

I want to share this piece my son wrote:

I close my eyes,
Think maybe if I pray hard enough...
Everything will be okay.
I'll open my eyes,
And you'll be smiling down on me.
Maybe if I wish hard enough...
The last four years will just disappear,
And you'll be here.
Laughing with me just like before.
Everything like its always been,
Not all this pain,
Here as if it could replace you,
As if I could ever be the same.
Miss you each and every day Mitch xxx

Always in our hearts - Rest peacefully darling, rest in peace.

 feb 2010 - photo made during my visit

Mitchell 11-06-2010 ( R.I.P.)

Dip days are OK - we all will at some stage have one ( or more) the thing is

- The sun does come out again -

For you and me!

Memories and emotions

What a day, what a beautiful day. The weather was beautiful, got quite a tan. We spent the whole day home, in the deck at water's edge lazing, reading, fluffing sbout. It has been months simce we have been able to do that. What a treat.

It has been a week of emotions. So many different ones it has become a jumble inside. Needed today to untangle them I think. It hardly seems possible that Mitch died 2 years ago, yet a lifetime of events have happened since then. Summah and Indi have been born, mum died as did a number of others close to me. Job gone, health has been an issue but has improved no end now. What a see-saw of BIG things and emotions to work through.

What hit hardest about Mitchell apart from the fact that he isn't with us, and I truly and utterly deplore that. is that it shouldn't happen that a child leaves this world before it's parents. What weighed heavily on me is the pain in Ros and Reece's eyes. What still troubles me is Ros's pain and anguish. I wish I could help her be freed from the desperateness she is experiencing. She still experiences such accute lows.

True, to loose a child is devastating, to have lost him so tragically in such a horrific accident, has been harsh, cruel. Yet the inner peace she needs to carry on is still beyond her grasp.... Oh Ros you are so loved. Your two sons are so in need of you. Your husband so loves you. I wish you a year of rebuilding, of strength and hope. Ros, I love you like my own. I am here for you. Mitch has found his peace, nothing harmful will ever touch him again, he is free and in a good place where only peace and joy fill his days. He wants that for you too. I cry for you and about you.

These few days are in memory of Mitch and not a day goes by I don't think of him - teenager, searching where he fitted, rebelious, loving, cheeky, sparky, helpfull, beligerent, funny, serious, mixed up. Mitch you were all you were meant to be - an adolescent looking, searching for what life had to offer you. Looking for your own spot. Your 17 years with us was too short.... But long enough for us to know you, share with you and love you.

Rest in Peace Mitch and let that same peace descend upon your loving mum.