Sunday, 10 June 2012

Memories and emotions

What a day, what a beautiful day. The weather was beautiful, got quite a tan. We spent the whole day home, in the deck at water's edge lazing, reading, fluffing sbout. It has been months simce we have been able to do that. What a treat.

It has been a week of emotions. So many different ones it has become a jumble inside. Needed today to untangle them I think. It hardly seems possible that Mitch died 2 years ago, yet a lifetime of events have happened since then. Summah and Indi have been born, mum died as did a number of others close to me. Job gone, health has been an issue but has improved no end now. What a see-saw of BIG things and emotions to work through.

What hit hardest about Mitchell apart from the fact that he isn't with us, and I truly and utterly deplore that. is that it shouldn't happen that a child leaves this world before it's parents. What weighed heavily on me is the pain in Ros and Reece's eyes. What still troubles me is Ros's pain and anguish. I wish I could help her be freed from the desperateness she is experiencing. She still experiences such accute lows.

True, to loose a child is devastating, to have lost him so tragically in such a horrific accident, has been harsh, cruel. Yet the inner peace she needs to carry on is still beyond her grasp.... Oh Ros you are so loved. Your two sons are so in need of you. Your husband so loves you. I wish you a year of rebuilding, of strength and hope. Ros, I love you like my own. I am here for you. Mitch has found his peace, nothing harmful will ever touch him again, he is free and in a good place where only peace and joy fill his days. He wants that for you too. I cry for you and about you.

These few days are in memory of Mitch and not a day goes by I don't think of him - teenager, searching where he fitted, rebelious, loving, cheeky, sparky, helpfull, beligerent, funny, serious, mixed up. Mitch you were all you were meant to be - an adolescent looking, searching for what life had to offer you. Looking for your own spot. Your 17 years with us was too short.... But long enough for us to know you, share with you and love you.

Rest in Peace Mitch and let that same peace descend upon your loving mum.

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