One month on

 

Where did June go?I didn’t expect that. My goal was to write 2-3 posts per month.  Time has flown! How did that happen?

Last month, almost all of the restrictions were removed by the government. Everything, well almost everything was made possible again. We could 'go all out'! Are my days now completely filled with trips, outdoor activities and a full diary? It might seem that way. Because while the world had shut down, I had more time for reflective activities including writing.  Now that  I can do more, do I? Am I ‘going all out' and catching up on lost time?

Well, no. I do venture 'into the outside world' more often". I have been spotted in the supermarket. However, only during very quiet periods. It is less busy at midday. Also round 9 am there are less shoppers around. During my husband's absence, he went on a solo camping trip, I was forced to go shopping and I'm starting to get back into the flow.

I also went with a friend by train to Den Bosch. It wasn't very busy there. A comfortable ‘crowd’. We also had plenty of space in the train. We shopped. Bought clothes. Both a bit tired of what hung in our closet. Because I take quite a lot of photos and make videos, I can see how long I have worn certain clothes. Not that this is a bad thing, because some items you never want to get rid of, but it was about the discarded pieces that ended up on a hanger in the back of the wardrobe.

We went  out for dinner recently. Yes. In a real restaurant. The staff still wore masks which I really appreciated. And we had a digital menu pad. We could order everything ourselves. Including the drinks. One of the positive developments I feel.

I played tourist in my town and did a city tour. A Street Art walk that had been on my list for a while. And, not unimportant to mention, we had our first dinner guests at home. That was great. A breath of fresh air. Liberating! I had missed cooking a 5 course dinner- challenging though it can be.

My lack of taking time for writing was more about getting used to the new 'normal'. Also gaining some interesting experiences. Seeing how I could rediscover myself in it. Hugging someone has not yet happened. I still keep my distance. Wash hands, be careful. Keep things clean and aired at home and stay alert. I think it's pretty much imbedded in me now.

The past 18+ months have been difficult. Difficult in the sense of our lives turned upside down. No, not by having had corona  within our immediate circle of family and friends. Though we experienced too many losses. Elderly family members who passed away. Two cousins, aunts, uncles a dear friend. No physical goodbyes. Grief at a distance you might say. The imposed but inevitable and inescapable measures had an impact on my mental toughness. A challenging situation that will continue for a while because of the still imposed restrictions and not being able to go to my children. That hurts- a lot! Pretty hard actually. I need to be strong and hang on a little longer. 

It is not only the youth who have been limited in their actions. All groups have suffered in their own way and still do. We'll have to have patience for a while longer. Patience to discover and see what our world will look like. Patience to process the consequences of the past few months. Patience to feel safe when we get back to being around people. Groups, large and small. Uncomfortable for many. Have patience! Everyone! Have compassion for each other. We are in this together!

Just spilling my thoughts

It's been a trying time. It's been a revealing time.

Welcome back. These are my thoughts for this morning, the 1st of January 2021! Welcome back after almost a year in which I have spent struggling to grasp the essence of the mentality of people around me. I have decided to call 2020 the year of disappointment. Not in my private world at home, or even with a great number of my friends, but a general observation of the community as a whole.

I feel disillusioned and disappointed. I am a realist, a positive realist yet my faith in people has been sorely tried and damaged in the year just past. Since the virus invaded people's bodies it didn't just make those victims ill, the rest of the people became infected too. But not with a virus that can be vaccinated against by injecting some form of medication.

In that disappointment shelters a sadness, like discovering that what you held dear wasn't as special or worthy of your admiration, commitment or even worthy of the time you gave it.  I have had insights into people's thinking and acting so alien to how I saw them as a person.  I've been mesmerized by the screaming hordes, the verfent disbelievers, the almost anarchist movement who were/are more bent on creating division than unity. What really bugged me about that was, the arrogance of assumptions that this group held/hold was, that  they knew it all better. No-one was going to tell this group of people what they needed to do. NO! Disfunction and disarray was their modes operandi. Creating division, anxiety, and disruption. My humble opinion of course.

And as contradiction: What has held my spirits up and belief in the people around me was, that I have been awed by the dedication and selflessness of so many trying to help those desperate and devastated by the results of the virus on their lives. Not in it for themselves but utilizing their talents, energy and love for people, strangers, before their own comforts and needs. The silent majority, who are so often overlooked, unrecognized and undervalued. They are the mainstay of our society. U~sing their energy to help improve situations giving those they care for stability, hope and a chance at life. They, and they are great in numbers I am glad to report, give me HOPE. My humble opinion of course.

I am not proud of last year for many reasons. Yet is has laid bare something that needs addressing. How do we, as a human race, want to evolve? Last night my husband said, " I am glad I have the longest part of my life behind me. I can look back with pleasure to the type of world I lived in. I am glad I don't have the greatest part in front of me seeing how our society is crumbling and lacking unity and compassion". How sad a statement is that?

What if.......

What of the reality of happy families doesn't exist?

What is the sun wouldn't shine?

What if we didn't appreciate the gift of a new day?

Seems to me, there are so many things that we could question the existence of.

So how about we turn all those 'what if's around and said,

True family love and unity exists

The sun does shine, even behind those dark clouds

And each new day is a gift to make all those certainties be part of our lives.

I believe, I believe in all of the above and I believe that God so made the world that he wanted us to have family, love, a new day.

So my wish and prayer for everyone is,  No more what ifs.....but

Believe there is love

Believe the sun does shine

Believe in your new day...

So whatever your denomination, whatever you call your God, in however large or small your congregation, I believe that...

this is God's will for us and His gift to humanity.