The choices we make

 

" That was one heck of a choice I made all those years ago."

It is Monday morning and I am preparing breakfast for myself. I'll be the only one at the table this morning. The newspaper needs not to be divided into sections and there won't be the normal morning banter about the various topics in the news. 

For the first time in ages I am 'home alone'. And it isn't for the first time, but it is, baring any calamity, only temporary. 

Due to the stillness around me, private thoughts are different somehow. There are no distractions. The thought I had startled me. Subconsciously I ended up with a short conversation with myself. ALL my choices I ever made had consequenses. Choices are, is it yes or no, left or right, up or down! Black or white, no never that! Nothing is black or white. That would simplify life enormously. Wouldn't it?

Some steps one takes in life just flow from life's moments. They don't appear to have massive impact. The choices being daily issues, the clothes one choses to wear, the meals one eats, the mode of transport chosen. Just in the natural flow. Sometimes these things become mundane and habitual, A mood or person can have influence on these issues so one breaks habits and creates renewal. Making other choices. A new food regime, going vegan. Stopping with alcohol, smoking or taking up a new sport, hairstyle, clothing.

Then there are the BIG choices, relationships, friendships, career to name a few. Married? Children? Travel? I suppose in this time zone we live in it could be said, we have too many options. Was life for our grandparents simpler? Recognizable patterns and expectations? Always baring the exceptions of course.

Some families have bonus children, I have a bonus mother in law. She is 91 and has had her fair share of life experiences to fill a book with. Imagine the world at the time of her birth, 1930! She had a career, a marriage, children. Lived through the war, survived many tragic events and tries to make sense of our modern world, keeping up with the news and current state of affairs. She's well informed and independent to a fault. One could describe her as a "tough old cookie". I admire and love her. She's a true inspiration. Is she easy going? Well that's debate-able 😂! Is she opinionated? Many think so 😂! Is she wise? Definitely!

My choices would NEVER have been hers. I guess the older I get and the more evident the impact of my choices are, the more I have moments of reflexion. The more moments I am confronted with the effects not only on me, but on all those around me. It also gives me more insights into new choices I make.

I've soul searched many a time. No, this isn't an "I regret stuff" post. More a reflective moment allowing myself the space to feel the impact and results of my life's path to date. Sometimes one needs the loneliness and space to be able to do that. Unhurried and uncomplicated.

Do I wish there had been other solutions at hand? Oh yes, but they weren't. At least not ones I saw as solutions. I did what I did, when I did with the knowledge and insights I held THEN!

LIVE - LOVE - LAUGH:  Life is short, shorter than you think!

Growing old-staying young

Link to my first blog

In 2012 I started blogging. It was just prior to my 60th birthday. My idea was, to write a wee something each day in my 60th year. Logging 356 days to look back on.  The opportunity to look back on 'a year well done.' A milestone reached.

It was a too big a task. I managed 81 'stories' in that first year. It would be my highest contributions ever on this blog. I was keen to learn. What works for me may not work for others. Do I care whether 80 or 801 people read my blog? My highest reader count is 1469, I was honoured, my least read is 22. The topic wasn't interesting enough I gather. But for me, something I can look back on and recall those moments I found important enough to write about. I'm happy if someone has gained anything at all by reading about my thoughts. I write to empty my head, to discover more about myself and to have this as a record of 'who I was' at the time of writing. In all honesty I can say that I've learnt as I went along. My 'opinions' or beliefs have continued to develop, adjusted themselves due to new insights and some have been confirmed over the years.

I maintain- that one is never to old to learn. And not just new things but also new thinking.

I started sorting my subjects into categories. I am bilingual, my children wouldn't be able to read my dutch blog which I started on the 17th July 2012. Writing, or blogging to be exact, kept me sharp in both languages. Being bi-lingual does mean one has to use both languages to practice the grammer. It is important to me that I keep up my English to be able to communicate with ease with my children, grandchildren and other family and friends. My native tongue, Dutch, is part of who I am, so being more than just capable of expressing myself is also imperative. It keep the cogs spinning.

As I said, one is never too old to learn.

My status as 'oma' provided another soapbox. Since 2015 I also write bi-lingually, about my life as oma. It keeps me on my toes, separates the topics I write about and also explains the reason why my annual contributions to each blog is limited. If I was to add them up, I'd be quite surprised. I don't write for the numbers, but to jot down events, thoughts and opinions that roam in my head. Some manage to end up being processed on my keyboard.

Juggling writing session in my daily and weekly schedule is a challenge- one is never too old to learn.

So I felt ready for another challenge. I've always loved photography on a amateur level. My computer groans under the weight of shots- many which are 'delete-able' and it's a job I've started tackling because I need to make space for my next learning curve.

In February last year ( 2018) I posted my first video on YouTube. Oooooh, was a nerve racking thing that was too. But I perservered and have learnt heaps since that day. Another challenge, another growth spurt and at 65+ glad I am able to challenge my grey matter into a new way of thinking. Not only am I able to express myself in word- I can now leave behind something more adventurous for my children and grandchildren. I'm still discovering new things, scared to try some others, apprehensive about tackling big projects- and enjoying the comments, images and adventures I've now committed visually to 'film' and embarked on this new adventure.


It is 2019 - I recall the moment our calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. It seems like only months ago. Life is 'Like an Hour Glass' with the sands of time spilling away so quickly. I want to make sure I fill the time I have with discovering new challenges and precious experiences.

One is never too old to learn. My opa used to say, "when my time is up I'll be able to sleep for as long as I like, for now, I'll keep busy doing whatever I can".

Great outlook, it obviously made an impression on me, as I was only very young when he died. I too will 'soldier on' and hopefully be inspired to keep challenging myself and continue to believe- one is never too old to learn.

Getting sorted

My mind is overflowing with thoughts, ideas and possibilities.

I have thus urge to type away all day with all sorts of themes and subjects popping in and out of my mind like Jack in the Boxes!

It is time to reflect, to focus on how I can organise myself that I don't mix and match, digress or double up....see what I mean?

For some reason I have decided that I want to 'organise' my subjects. Not write willy nilly everything mixed up in together.

I am in the throws of splitting my subjects so that readers can choose which theme or thought pattern of mine they want to read or follow.

As it is right now, one minute I am totally immersed in Christian based topics, then about the children, then about the world at large, then about my hobbies and other experiences.

And maybe that's how it will stay- but right now, my inclination is to make separate headings and split my blogs.

I will attempt to keep the bi-lingual aspect up to date. A necessity if I want to keep my English language skills up to date and at the ready. Always handy and let's face it. If I don't use it, I will loose it! It is as simple as that.

On my newest Blog about being ' oma ver weg - Oma far away' I have placed the translator...and tried it out myself. I must say - clever idea but not too finely tuned. Oh dear oh dear. Maybe it is too big an ask to expect a computer to 'read' in a language and instantly translate into another. So you can more than likely expect an English version of that Blog appearing too.

At present I am using Blogger as a programme. Up till now quite adequate and I am reasonably familiar with the services and options. I say reasonably, as there are still unchartered waters to discover.

To safeguard my input to date I have had my Blogs committed to paper- that is to say, I used a complimentary programma online to have my blogs printed as books. Before I get totally carried away, I will commit everything to paper in case of a total muck up because once one begins to fiddle with online documents - anything can happen.

The coming weeks I will be plotting, planning and of course doing the occasional writing.

I hope I can count on your patience, continued support and readership as I continue to grow and learn.

Enjoy each day as it is gifted you

Anita