Martha or Mary, or both

Who am I? What role or description describes me to a T? About 15-20 years ago I struggled with this identity issue and it has reared it's head again. I thought I was clear about who I was and what my life's 'mission'  was.

I have onze again come to a crossroad. Onze again I am faced with mixed feelings about ' who I am'.

I know what I am as far as my faith is concerned - I believe in God. Unequivocally and without hesitation or reservation.

Do I have all the answers? NO, I am a learner, a beginner a junior member of this wonderful community of believers.

How do I fill my time, or more to the point, how do I want to spend my time- and that's where the Martha and Mary dilemma rears it's head.

I am a do-er! I tend to be in places, with people or situations where it is possible to be helpful or offer help in some form or another. And feel comfortable and privileged to be able to do so.

When I find myself taking part in a discussion- on religious topics, biblical wisdom or 'who said what when' I am lacking. Lacking in the sense that I can't quote bible and verse but do know about content in a broader sense.

So then I want to spend time learning, reading, listening, gathering, growing in knowledge. And as soon as I think to have space to do that, I am 'called'  to someone, somewhere, somehow to assist, give my time and energy to, instead of sitting at the foot of Jesus, the teacher.

Generally I am happy to be both, right now I feel the balance is missing. Too much of one and not enough of the other. Yet I don't want to 'sell anyone short'  by choosing to be Mary when I need to be Martha.

Somewhere there is an unrest in me. I know it will subside, I am confident I will re-find my stability and be comfortable onze again. Right now, I am praying for wisdom.

At the Home of Martha and Mary

Luke 10: 38-42. As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better ( for her??) , and it will not be taken away from her.”

         Do I need to be both?

Do you know who you are? Are you being who you need to be?

Does this dilemma I am in sound familiar?

Is it about being Martha and Mary 50/50?