Flashback

I appear to have difficulty in a 'come back' after the contents of some of my blogs- like the last one- about Mitchell.

Because, not only does one have sad and heart wrenching events in one's life - also happy heart warming ones. And stepping from one to the other creates a sort of distance and barrier in me.

I have finally overcome this hurdle and today - I am going to write about something more lighthearted.

A post on Facebook by a friend prompted me to react. It read " Wonderful visit to the university of technology at Eindhoven- very interesting e- textiles r& d" ( a one- dayer in my country of birth) and in a reflex I reacted to this post!

This message was posted by a former primary school classmate of mine from the 1960s. The last time we saw each other was in fact at the end of the school year of 1966 in Auckland - New Zealand. My family and I were to return to Nederland after the birth of my youngest brother. He had health issues and my parents wanted to ' go home'. They needed family support, a language they were more comfortable with and the future of my brother's health was uncertain. 
They chose to leave New Zealand and go 
back to familiar territory.


So here I am, having had my first few years primary in Arnhem - Nederland, then continued my education in Auckland - New Zealand, only to pick up where I left off and start a new (teenage) period in Leeuwarden, my father's home town.


My time at St Theresa's Catholic Primary School in Mt Roskill took a wee while to become settled. After arriving in Auckland - NZ in June 1961 I had attended Holy Cross in Henderson- our adjustment period, Christ the King school in Owairaka ( rental home) to then land in Hillsborough after my parents bought a home to settle in.

1966

As you can imagine - this was a pretty difficult period for us all. I can only mention how it affected me. And I was shell shocked. It took some time to find my feet - and the people involved in that period made all the difference. Some names stuck - not always because of the positives but oh well .....!

After finding my feet at St Theresa's I finally started feeling at home. The classmates were very pleasant over all and soon friendships formed. Having had so many changes I was apprehensive. How long would I be at this school?




Then mum became pregnant and that gave a sense of security. Only it didn't pan out like that. Baby brother was born in September 1966 and it appeared he had some serious health problems.

So back we went ( bar my oldest brother). Back to family and friends, a language that was familiar and a future that was uncertain.

Once again I left friends behind - and there was NO Facebook, Internet or texting. Letter writing didn't happen.


After the launch of the website for classmates to find each other, contact was made with one of two school friends.

- I now have the opportunity to meet up with this 'old' classmate after 48 years! and I am SOOOOO looking forward to this chance of a lifetime.


She will be back in October for whole week. Must be a window of opportunity there for sure, how great is THAT!? What a prospect!

All revealed.....

Yesterday was a bit of a down sort of day - Discouraging as I recall. And for some reason I couldn't put my finger on the reason.... it came out of the blue.

After every shower- the clouds disperse and the sun gets it's chance to shine. And, as the law of nature will have it - this morning the sun came out and yes, it took a while but I started to appreciate it again.

The thing is, just like a young child who is a bit cranky and whiney for a couple of days - for no apparent reason you can fathom - Then you discover the red splotches and you realise oh he / she is coming down with the measles/chickenpox to name a couple of childhood illnesses.

So it was with me. For some reason - my day yesterday turned to lumpy custard without any rhyme, warning or reason which I could fathom. Until........

I knew what the date was - been gunning for it since the month of June started. The dreaded 11th. But somehow - the spots didn't show so the knowledge eluded me. Till, I made contact with my son, daughter in law and their two sons in Australia.

Today, 4 years ago Mitchell was killed in a horrific road accident. Just 17 years old!!! 

A son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend never again to be held, cared for, nurtured.

Gone from our midst - oh ever so abruptly.

Gone, but not forgotten.

I want to share this piece my son wrote:

I close my eyes,
Think maybe if I pray hard enough...
Everything will be okay.
I'll open my eyes,
And you'll be smiling down on me.
Maybe if I wish hard enough...
The last four years will just disappear,
And you'll be here.
Laughing with me just like before.
Everything like its always been,
Not all this pain,
Here as if it could replace you,
As if I could ever be the same.
Miss you each and every day Mitch xxx

Always in our hearts - Rest peacefully darling, rest in peace.

 feb 2010 - photo made during my visit

Mitchell 11-06-2010 ( R.I.P.)

Dip days are OK - we all will at some stage have one ( or more) the thing is

- The sun does come out again -

For you and me!

It happens to the best of us.....

.....Discouragement

I am not too ashamed to admit it! I get discouraged. And on a regular basis. When things turn to lumpy custard on me - my resolve enthusiasm and positive outlook take a dive!

The past few years I have been working on minimising this phenomena. This human trait I wish I didn't posses. But it is here, I struggle with it and it annoys me that I fall into its trap time and again.

Today I started with renewed enthusiasm and resolve on my list of tasks which are waiting for me, begging for completion. To get the 'DONE TICK'. With gusto I tackled one (small) job after another. The day was starting to look even beter than good - and then the rain came! There are projects that are very important to me- they need my time and energy. To get to the big jobs - I need to get the little ones out of the way. That's the way I operate.

I know, I know so what! Rain is important too. Can't argue with that. And yes, I have indoor tasks as well. This might all sound very petty - DISCOURAGEMENT strikes on the (my) BIG jobs too. 

The projects, the activities that are bigger than the sorting out of the stuff in the attic or weeding the garden, or mending the clothes. 

DISCOURAGEMENT strikes in the workplace, in marriages, in family relationships - in LIFE!

I try not to let 'it' get to me. I pick up- dust off and re-boot. DISCOURAGEMENT can drain all the energy out of me if I was to let it.

BUT I AM NOT GOING TO SURRENDER to DISCOURAGEMENT!

I am going to recharge my batteries, I am going to take the necessary steps to ignite my enthusiasm and get on with the tasks that need my attention.

And funnily enough, today when I felt myself gently slipping, losing grip so to speak - I received a mail. A weekly newsletter. You'll NEVER GUESS what the topic on my screen was....!

5 Way to Stop Discouragement from Getting the Best of You 

Bet that made you smile!

There are pearls of wisdom to be found everywhere - I am going to pluk the necessary gems and make them mine.

Oh guess what? The rain stopped!

Chapter 1: My Neighbour's House

“You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbour’s house or land, his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.” Deut.5:21

Just a re-cap, let me think. There were 8 no 9 of us smitten by curiosity last night as we gathered to discuss the first chapter of Marja Meijer's book. Three of the  original group were unable to attend. There were however 2 new members which is great. New vision- interpretations and thoughts to mix with our own. Adds to the flavour of the conversation.

As per usual, Marja uses the first chapter of her books to illustrate her intentions with the theme of her book. That she has as goal, to uncover the secrets of and her thoughts on, the Ten Commandments. It isn't her intention to break them down and set them aside- on the contrary. She wants to share her insights in how we can implement these 10 golden rules which existed before Jesus' life among us, His subsequent death and resurrection. Marja opens the discussion on how we can live our lives the way God intended us to live it- and how we can follow in Jesus' footsteps - by learning from His example.

As a child in a Catholic home, going to a Catholic school I learnt the Ten Commandments off by heart. They were taught, just like the times tables, by repetition and more repetition. Chanting, repeating and chanting. They were tested, at random - Nr1, Nr 5, Nr 9 etc. And woe betide if you got it wrong. Then you would have to write the wrong commandment 10 times over- so it would 'stick'. These Ten Commandments aren't just etched in stone- they are engraved in my heart and mind. Not that there was anything wrong with that. The thinking was- these are the rules- obey them and all will be well.

Looking back I realise that this teaching came out of a good heart and was well intended. We christians, the general public, didn't read or study the bible. We believed what we were told and did our best to come up to expectations - God's (and the parish priest/teachers). If we had the knowledge we have now- we would have looked further than the Old Testament. 

The New Testament is where we can read about the life Jesus led. About how He nurtured, taught, shared, cared for and and instructed. How Jesus stood for all people and showed compassion for the sick, elderly and those less fortunate. How He didn't force himself on those not wanting to believe or hear His stories. He gave people the freedom to choose. He pleased His Father in all He did. He filled the brief- Go, show my people how they can find their way to Me - through you, through LIGHT, through LOVE.

The Ten Commandments are the LAW- 

The rule to live by, is LOVE. 

It doesn't override the law but supports it.

(NKJV) Romans 13:9-10:  For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,“You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”10. Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore LOVE is the fulfillment of the LAW.

The next question that arrises is: Do I LOVE myself? For if I cannot LOVE myself- I cannot LOVE another.

My mission in life is to ensure that only that which I want to have happen to me, happens to those around me. Funny how some people tend to think that if someone becomes or already lives a Christian life that all is well with their world- well let me tell you, it takes energy, prayer, faith and perseverance. But most of all- it takes LOVE.

To be continued...

Almost over......

I hear the cry of the early birds, literally. Gulls and other water birds, looking for their breakfast.Across the water a swan disturbs the quiet by flapping furiously with it's wings on the water's surface- wanting to take off. After a few moments deciding to call off lift off and staying a while longer! The smooth mirror that was now disturbed, ripples appearing across the surface.

The ever so slightest breeze caresses my cheeks. It is so gentle the water doesn't register it's presence. The sun, visually present climbing gently higher and higher against the pale blue and crystal clear sky. It is so quite- almost earth shatteringly so. I am spell bound- inspired and mesmerised by what I am experiencing. I feel the desire to take a photo so I can recall with precision the emotion of this moment. I am almost to afraid to move- scared of disturbing this sacred of moments.

As I turn to pick up my camera from the table I see a young rabbit hop on by. Another gem in this already heavily gifted morning scene. There are a number of these hug-able bunnies around. They are not a disturbing factor at all, adding to the magic of the moment.

An aeroplane which I cannot see but only hear, cruises across the sky- taking with it it's noise as it continues to it's destination far away from here.

As the sun climbs higher and higher I notice it's warmth getting stronger and stronger, licking my toes and creeping up my feet and legs. When I first stepped out the caravan I needed my sunglasses to protect my eyes- even though it was only 6:30am. It appears to have the makings of a sunny and warm day.

It is Monday morning, the day after Ascension weekend. The camping ground is almost deserted except for a few die hards- early holiday makers. They are still asleep, unaware of the beauty I am experiencing. Their loss- my gain. The quiet adds to the beauty of the morning. The dewy grass, the light blue sky, the ever warming sun, the dewdrops slowly running down the awing and windows of the caravan. Slowly the day dawns- bringing with it the promise of a beautiful day. And I got to catch the first glimpse.

Another few hours and my husband and I will be leaving the camping ground too- closing our wee mini holiday and returning home. I notice that mother duck has lead her baby ducklings further afield. We are situated along a huge lake- and some other early birds sail their rather large yacht past our spot. The water ripples and the waves lap against the water's edge. I am aware that the magic of the moment is ebbing away- life and Monday morning is happening.

Time to pack up, to break up camp and return home- closing this chapter with renewed energy and anticipation. All is well with our world.

My discussion evenings

Wednesday evening - a prayerful, challenging and learning experience. I look forward to these evenings each week although I do have gaps. There are some unique moments when I reneg, like birthdays or special events which override my resolve. Like last week when my husband, brother in law and I went to Scotland for a week.

We have started on a new book. Or should I say - a new topic. Marja Meijers, authoress of a number of thought provoking books on the Ten Commandments hosts, together with her husband Jan, a discussion group. We don't only discuss her writings but also books from other Christian authors.

The book we have elected to dissect is called ' My Neighbour's House. The theme- the last commandment ' Thou shalt not covet...'! Just as in the other books Marja has written, we are encouraged to DO stuff instead of NOT to do stuff. So, instead of Don't steal- GIVE, Don't kill - respect and celebrate LIFE.

The Ten Commandments are guidelines how we should live. Marja has interpreted them in a way they become inspiration instead of a set of rules which we can tick of at the Pearly Gates by saying to Peter -

"No, I didn't kill anyone - tick, 

No I didn't rob a bank - tick,

No, I never checked out the neighbour's wife- check, etc" Can I come in now?

The question we could be asking ourselves therefor is: " What CAN I do, to please the Lord? How can I live my life that brings GLORY to his name?"

So here we were, all 8 of us, starting on our journey to discover how we can live the Commandment;
 " Thou shalt not covet..." Because if we are NOT to covet- then what should we be doing. And before we can answer THAT question, we need to be fully aware what GOD meant with that rule.

Yes, I like my home to be comfortable and in tip top shape, yes, I do admire someone who can quote chapter and verse from the bible without any hesitation - wish it was me, when I see someone wearing a lovely outfit- a wishful thought flashes across my mind!

There is nothing wrong with owning the most recent model BMW, or having a in-ground swimming pool, annual overseas trips or sets of matching gold earrings, bracelet and necklaces. What matters is what part they play in our lives.

I am quite curious where our conversations will lead. How much I will learn and how I measure up to that commandment.

To be continued!

It is May 5th

It is the 5th of May today

May 5th 2014

My sister's birthday today

My one and only sister

Today, on this special date- 5th of May- Freedom in Europe (1945)

Her birthdate is 5-5-'50

Beautiful date easy to remember

Time to reminisce- to look back.

No, she hasn't died- we just aren't on speaking terms. That hurts.

I revel in my memories, which bring a smile to my lips and joy in my heart. 

Our time together is worth remembering.

Today is 5th of May- Liberation Day. I hung the flag out before 7 am. Just like yesterday- only then it hung half mast- Remembering the victims of WWII. Funnily enough there was hardly a breeze yesterday, which meant the flag just drooped- quite appropriate. 

Today with the light breeze it sends a hopeful and cheerful wave to those passing by.

My thoughts are with my grandparents, uncles and all those who offered and gave so much so we could benefit from the freedom we now enjoy and celebrate. A mishmash of emotions. Glad, because we remember and are grateful- sad because of the wars, pain, fear and death still raging on our planet.

Today, a mixed bag. I am grateful for what I have, who I am and what I stand for. I am thankful for the influences of those around me which have made me who I am today. Thanks to my sister, parents, grandparents and all those whose paths have crossed mine. For those who made PEACE happen in my world.

Today is 5th of May 2014 and I aim to celebrate today in a special way

Heaven's very special child

I feel compelled to write this blog in support of and offer a hand in friendship to Megan Davies Mennes, the author of a blog titled: Daily life: Define Crazy!

It appears that she was 'attacked' verbally by someone who took umbrage to a photo she placed online of her son. This wee man was smiling his glamour smile- and looked a perfect gem. And he was created to be that way.

Megan's son Quinn was born with the Down Syndrome in his make up- SO WHAT! That doesn't make him ugly, helpless or deficient. It just makes him- Quinn.

The person who, in ignorance, took offense to the photo, is sadly the person with the disability he described Quinn with- UGLY! A small voice tells me that there is reason to have hope that the opinion if this person may change- but an even louder voice tells me not to hold my breath.

Here in the Netherlands too is a support group for parents who have had children born with the Down Syndrome, called the Upside of Down. I am the proud owner of a photo book published by the Foundation, highlighting these beautiful children accompanied by comments from the parents. I would be naive to think and state that there is no discrimination here on the matter, but with education and public awareness mind set can be changed.

Megan, you have every right to feel hurt, angry and challenged by this person - and those like minded. It is a mother's privilege to protect and defend her child. And you did him and others like him- proud.

I want to share this poem that I stumbled on many many years ago- author unknown! It isn't just for you but any and all parents who may get some support, insight and love by reading this.

Heaven’s Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth

“It’s time again for another birth,”

said the angels to the Lord above,

“ This child will need much love.

His progress may seem very slow

Accomplishments he may not show

And he’ll require extra care

From the folks he meets way down there

He may not run, laugh or play

His thoughts may seem quite far away

In many ways he won’t adapt

And he’ll be known as 'handicapped'.

So let’s be careful where he’s sent

We want his life to be content

Please Lord, find parents who

Will do a special job for you

They will not realise straight away

The leading role they are asked to play

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith and richer love

And soon they’ll know the privilege given

In caring for this gift from Heaven

Their precious charge so meek and mild

Is Heaven’s VERY SPECIAL CHILD”.

Ode to Friendship- I am truly blessed

In the past week I had the privilege of having had contact with a number of friends. Dear friends, all sparkling pearls, everyone a treasure in their own right. The reasons for the contact was as diverse in it's contents that I experienced once again a richness that added colour to my life.

During breakfast this morning I pondered on the fact- is it possible to have 1 VERY BEST FRIEND? I sometimes hear people say ( after having achieved a great feat or another) " this is THE BEST moment of my life"- whilst you know they are married, have children etc. Makes me wonder.....! Is it possible to have ONE special moment that tops all others?

So here, today, my ode to friendships - from the heart. In all it's diversity and richness.

In all honesty it humbles me to say I am proud and pleased to have your name in my 'book of friends' and wouldn't want to miss any one of you. I would also like to mention how grateful I am that I am able to list my friends in alphabetical order. What a burden it would otherwise be to have to 'rank' these wonderful characters I call friend.

Dear friends, male and female alike. No value can be placed on the friendships I enjoy with each and every one of you. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so much loving care. Whatever my need at any given time- I know I can count on you. What I can so appreciate are the diverse talents, traits and personalities amongst you all. And how truly amazing it is that we humans have been so richly and diversely designed to meet each other's needs when we seek comfort, advice or support. What a source of inspiration you all are.

Wisdom, a shoulder, laughter, tears, prayer, time, silence, practical help, refreshing ideas, shoppers, support, jokes, serious debates, knowledge, creativity, soberness, spontaneity, compassion, understanding, a kiss, a warm embrace, compliments, appreciation, and more, many more traits that make you, you!

What also pleases and flatters me, is that you too know to find me in times of your own need. In moments when you think " I am going to call, call on, or drop in at ..." When you feel that I can in some one meet your need in that moment. My thanks to you for that loving two way friendship I hold so dear.

Dear friends, that we may continue to enjoy each others talents and care for one and other for many years to come.

The purest form of friendship - crystal clear.

Drop a pebble in the water and watch the circle ( of friendship ) grow

Size matters- Less is more

In my previous two Blogs I mentioned wanting to be less busy and in preparation for Easter whittle down my To Do list. And like many good intentions, this one too needed the necessary discipline and perseverance to implement. I am happy to report, that despite a few setbacks I am reasonably pleased with my progress. The appointments and tasks I already had listed were minimally added to. I managed to contain myself! A succes you could say. I feel I have interpreted and understood my initiative and have acted accordingly. I look forward to the end result with exciting anticipation.

Easter, the feast of New Life, of Renewal, of promises of good things to come- I so look forward to that.

By accepting LESS in my day(s) I have achieved and had time for MORE. My 'to do list' is slowly but surely shrinking with still enough activities to keep me occupied the coming period. I LOVE the LESS IS MORE feeling- and embrace it with enthusiasm.

One of the topics in conversations around me that stands out is the discussions about ' to have's and haven't yet got! About SIZE and that it MATTERS!

Bigger wardrobes, larger home, newest appliances, more CD's and DVD's ( have you see, heard have got??) more spacious caravan, holiday further away, longer weekends. Somehow our hunger for MORE keeps increasing.

I occasionally visit the 'Kringloop" store- a secondhand chain here in the Netherlands. The word Kringloop meaning - the Recycle Circle. A place for one to bring/deposit your unwanted goods- so others can purchase these at a reduced price- second hand. What strikes me is that these stores look more and more like a Warehouse or large Home Style store filled with goods that sparkle in newness. Rejected by those who first thought they would be 'happier'  owning such articles.

Clothing racks that groan under the weight, shelving jam packed with glassware and crockery. Furniture not even outdated as it used to be the case in these type of stores. Up to the ceiling highly stacked shelving filled with unwanted bric a brac and toys. Collectables and Wantables!

Since my resolve about minimizing to maximise - I have gained new insights into the contents of my cupboards. In the past 12 months not a bric a brac niceness has entered my home and  the only new clothes have been a couple of ( practically new) hand me downs from a friend. I feel a sense of ownership and freedom to choose for LESS is MORE.

I do not profess that purchasing niceties is wrong- just that it may be useful to think twice. I believe gifts and titivating your surroundings is appropriate and can provide joy and a sense of well being. My thoughts are just my thoughts and my experiences also mine alone. I share what I think, experience and feel. My reflections on this subject I share for you to do with what you see fit!

Sometimes it is good te re-evaluate! And for me, that time is NOW! The preparation time leading up to Easter- the promise of renewal.

And..... has that time arrived for you too?

The past week's activities

Monday morning: Off to see my cousin's daughter in Geertruidenberg. Got her started on her Blog. Going on an exciting journey wit her mother- and wanting to document the whole event from start to finish.
Monday afternoon: In the kitchen baking of a High Tea to be held Tuesday.
Monday evening: Everything ship shape for receiving guests tomorrow still for my husband's 60th birthday.
Tuesday: High Tea: Was absolutely wonderful: old aunts and a few cousins sharing tales from yesteryear. Lots of laughter and hilarities. Fun for all.
Tuesday evening: Made a digital photo album " Summer holidays - the Duncan kids".
Wednesday: Crack of dawn - 06:20am on my bike to the voting booth ( church hall) where I was stationed for the duration of voting for City Council elections.
Wednesday evening: Finished at voting booth round 10 pm- then off to Council Chambers  and home at 00:15
Thursday morning: Visit to friends who returned home after trip away.
Thursday afternoon: Film with mother in law, 12 Years a Slave. Heavy!
Thursday evening: Dinner out with husband and brother in law, meeting till 11:30 pm home 00:15 ( again).
Friday: Once up and about and off on an errand realised I wasn't going to hack it. The couch looked awfully tempting- and I succumbed.
Friday evening: Early to bed.

Saturday morning: Resolution- Attempt to avoid such full on and hectic weeks in the future.

Getting organised

It has been a week since my last BLOG. That isn't unusual, happens more often. Only this time the reason was different. I had painted the stairwell and it needed a few days to dry and harden before use. I know I could have 'arranged'  other ways to get to my BLOG and other 'necessary' ills - but I used this 'holiday' to enforce my discipline. No computer- no work. I did keep tabs on my Social Media as it is my life line to my children across the miles, Down Under - but NO WORK!

And that posed a dilemma. Almost as if the text urchins were toying with me. All sorts of ideas and quotes ran riot in my head- and NO, I didn't write them down but attempted to 'store them'  in my memory. It was quite a battle.

Just like a number of years ago I decided, off the cuff, to give up coffee for Lent. Just like that, cold turkey- no warning no preparation, no down time! Just like the stairs - it was an instant decision taken without thought as to the consequences!

With the cold turkey coffee event; it was extremely difficult and posed all sorts of problems. My body became unwell, derailed. The caffeine shortage affected me in ways I had not realised that it would. No way did I understand I was addicted. I drank coffee - and I was going to give it up for a few weeks- I knew I would miss it, That was the point- give up something you love! Big deal. And unexpectedly IT WAS.

Computers too can become an addiction. For many already a reality. I am a fortunate person. In my possession I have an iMac, iPhone, iPad and a laptop. Internet is available everywhere in the home and in the garden. I don't play games, well on the odd occasion while on holiday I might play Patience and I Love jigsaw puzzles. I may have used that App 5 times in te past two years. That's as far as my gaming on computers goes.

The stairs needed painting and 'today is the ideal day to do just that' was my idea at that moment. Through the window, the sun threw it's spring rays on the stairs, perfect for a slow but sure dry process.
As the paint odour penetrated the room I headed outside and spent my time getting 'rid' of winter in both the garden and the wee summer house. Both all set now to be enjoyed.

As of today my husband and I can enjoy the fruits of those flighty days- when time and weather allows. The paint on the stairs has hardened and I am once again able to sit in front of my screen and do what I need to do to get my admin up to date and commit the insights 'to paper' as it were.

I feel a sense of freedom and in charge as far as computer time is concerned. I focussed on what my routines were and have re-set my schedules to give me more 'off screen time'.

Spring, renewed energy, a fresh breeze, time to shake those winter ills off and look forward to Easter, to renewal. I aim to use Lent to clear my head and identify and rid myself of things - addictive.

There are 39 days to Easter...!! I am counting the days and aim to use the time wisely.